My internet was just down for three days, if you were wondering. Update soon.
For certain definitions of the word soon. 
Such as for astrophysicists.
Or Blizzard.
I guess four solid months of near-daily updates just barely makes up for a week-long hiatus, huh?
Let's get back on track!
**********~
Turn 96
**********~META TURN:Possibly arachnids.
GoalsFind the keycard stations.
Current SoundtrackPotential For AnythingActionsMeta: Find a new cleaning utility.
(...) You float out into the lab and immediately find another
SHINY RED BUTTON labeled "Activate Cleanz0r 9000". Obviously you must push it, so you lightly poke it with one finger. Suddenly, a hatch in the wall opens and a large, squat robot slides out on treads at surprising speed! The robot slams into you, carrying you out toward the gauntlet of lazors!
"WHAT CAN CLEANZ0R DO FOR YOU TODAAAAAAYYYYYY"
RW: Go into the lab and deactivate the lazers with hacking prowess.
(...) You manage to hack into the lazor system using your helmet and turn most of them off. There are still a few scanning across the room, though.
RW: Shoot what there is to shoot. Otherwise, gain improbably aiming skills.
(...) You decide on a little target practice, so you fire a paper weight across the huge laboratory. It slams into a ventilation shaft at the other end of the room, letting in more spiders! They start gently floating around the room. Your skills are quite improbably. Quite improbably indeed. Not enough to get you a bonus, but you're getting there.
Meta: Using all the ingenuity and loose lab equipment available to me, MacGuyver up a mirror suit that will reflect laser beams away from me!
(...) Grabbing all the loose lab equipment floating around you, you produce a perfect
lazor-reflecting suit to protect yourself!
Meta: Continue towards our goal!
(...) You float out into the lab and immediately receive a flying thermometer to the eye.
"AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH"
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derek L.Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Hacking the lazor grid.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers |
Metal Spear |
Keen Helmet | Leather Gloves | Pencil x4 | Guitar |
Coffee Mug |
Marshall Coburn (commanding) |
Micro Mecha Spider (commanding)Wounds:
Heavy BurnsAbilities:
Code Expert |
Neckbeard |
NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frederick StephonavichOccupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Laser Dagger |
Cheetah ArmWounds:
Missing Arm |
EYE SCREAMAbilities:
Uncanny Prediction |
Actuary's Lament |
Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name:
MonkOccupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Potentially severing someone's arm with a deflected laser in the future.
Inventory:
Moist Top Hat |
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Plasma Rifle |
Balloon Animal |
Mirror SuitWounds:
Broken RibAbilities:
Applied Phlebotinum |
TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life |
MacGyvering |
Telekinesis |
Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
Kyle HammersOccupation: Janitor
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Meeting Cleanz0r 9000.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Mop | Rubber Gloves |
Medkit |
Power Cleaner | Wheelchair |
Burlap Sack |
Spray Can |
Gas Mask | Bucket
Wounds:
Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps |
BlindAbilities:
That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! |
Clean Freak |
Custodial Might |
EMT |
Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy |
Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
John FreemanOccupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Improving his aim.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
1/2 Jumpsuit |
Turban |
Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts |
Caruso Shades |
Cheetah Arm |
Spacesuit |
Arm Cannon | Paperweight x3
Wounds: None
Abilities:
Major Payne |
Fullmetal Jacket |
Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description:
A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus. Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities:
Eye Laser |
Web Shooter
Group AttacksImpromptu SingalongSpur of Conflagration to Giga LazorLocations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.
FANTASY TURN:What happened to Elica, anyway...?
Goals"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!Current SoundtrackWhites of Their SkullsActionsFantasy: It's 'Bout time for a new ability. Only one without one.
(...) HAHAHAHAHA no.
FW: BOOK, HAND! THOU ART MINE! I CALL ON THEE! ON MY NAME YOU SHALL NOT LEAVE! I am Derm Hell-Binder. My will be done. Summon book and hand using blank parchment as reagent/anchor. (Last attempt I promise.)
(...) The hand just laughs at you. Wait, how is the hand laughing at you?! Maaaayyybe iiit'ss theee bllllooooooooood looooooooosssssss... You collapse to the deck.
FW: Pull the soap out with my beard, then heal HEN then myself.
(...)
*Hack* *Cough*
Fantasy: Perform Heimlich maneuver on Urist if necessary, then explore the ship
(...) You decide to explore the ship. As you walk across the deck, you step on Urist's chest, causing him to spit out the bar of soap. You proceed to the hatch near the back of the ship and descend below deck. You arrive in the hull of the ship and are surrounded by ghostly pirates, performing various labors.
Fantasy:Slice and dice evil zombies, sacrifice blood
(...)
"
In the name of Zutshosh Gatolgasol, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen."
Before any of the zombies can react, you begin to violently tear through them with your sword! The limbs of the undead fly off in every direction, and blood sprays from their mutilated bodies. You feel a strong tingling sensation around your waist as a new pair of legs sprouts out from your lower body! The horde of zombies lays slumped in a bloody heap, but more zombies are on the way from the fortress interior, riding on a pack of undead beak dogs!
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derm Hell-binderOccupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Unconscious.
Inventory:
Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring|
Chattering Fangs (commanding) |
Sword |
Armor |
Blank ParchmentWounds:
Heavy Burns |
Missing Left Hand |
Very Heavy Bleeding |
UnconsciousAbilities:
Gift of the Magi (...) |
Squishy Wizard |
Summoner (...) |
Water Blast |
Superheat |
Tectonic Shift |
Lightning Rod
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frelock Von-HeisenbergOccupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Fortress Gates
Currently: Inflicting penance upon the wicked souls of the damned.
Inventory:
Gold Coin |
Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch |
Map of Westport |
Long Sword |
Armor |
Spring Shoes |
Elica Larifera (commanding)Wounds:
Black EyeAbilities:
Accident Waiting to Happen |
Befuddlement |
Legsplosion |
Greater Legsplosion |
Armsplosion |
Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name:
EdgarOccupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Exploring the ship.
Inventory:
Sleeveless Long Coat |
Grappling Hook |
Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow |
Case of BoozeWounds:
Right Forearm Missing |
Left Arm Missing |
Very Heavy Bleeding |
FaintAbilities:
Booze Power (...) |
Terraphobia |
Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
HighEndNoobOccupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Lacking cool abilities.
Inventory: Robe |
Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 |
Sword |
Tattered Shirt |
Leaf BarrelWounds:
Missing Tooth |
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Immaculate Aim |
Clumsy Fighter |
'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
Urist AnvilsmasherOccupation: Soapmaker
DescriptionLocation: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Catching his breath.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap |
Battle Axe |
Bamboo Pegarm |
Stone Arm |
Ozurlidod |
≡Silver Warhammer≡ |
Legchucks | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds:
Missing Arm x2 |
Broken Toe |
Heavy Bleeding x2Abilities:
Dabbling Surgeon (...) |
Meager Social Ability |
Martial Trance |
Prehensile Beard
Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The BorealisCondition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress
Author
Topic: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 126: Booze Mist Rising] (Read 299062 times)