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[Gatleos]

To be honest, killing that chieftain completely changes the path this story is taking. I just wasn't expecting Derm to immolate him beyond recognition before he could even say a word.

Not sure why I wasn't expecting that.

Also, we just broke 1000 replies! Wheeee!

Fantasy: Attempt to land on the goblin nearest Urist. DEMAND IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION

You are many stories z-levels in the air... I'm not sure a Goblin corpse is enough to cushion that fall.

[RedWarrior0]

It works in DF, why shouldn't it here?

[Dermonster]

I just wasn't expecting Derm to immolate him beyond recognition before he could even say a word.

Not sure why I wasn't expecting that.

Sigged XD

[monk12]

To be honest, killing that chieftain completely changes the path this story is taking. I just wasn't expecting Derm to immolate him beyond recognition before he could even say a word.

Not sure why I wasn't expecting that.

Also, we just broke 1000 replies! Wheeee!

Fantasy: Attempt to land on the goblin nearest Urist. DEMAND IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION

You are many stories z-levels in the air... I'm not sure a Goblin corpse is enough to cushion that fall.

Hm. Action altered.

On a semi-related topic, the winner of a given fight is the one who still alive when its done, yes?
And I was fighting the goblin chieftain for leadership of the dark fortress, yes?
And only one of us is still alive, yes?

[Frelock]

On a semi-related topic, the winner of a given fight is the one who still alive when its done, yes?
And I was fighting the goblin chieftain for leadership of the dark fortress, yes?
And only one of us is still alive, yes?

As soon as the other goblins in the throne room tell their buddies that you...oh wait, they're dead...

[Gatleos]

To be honest, killing that chieftain completely changes the path this story is taking. I just wasn't expecting Derm to immolate him beyond recognition before he could even say a word.

Not sure why I wasn't expecting that.

Also, we just broke 1000 replies! Wheeee!

Fantasy: Attempt to land on the goblin nearest Urist. DEMAND IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION

You are many stories z-levels in the air... I'm not sure a Goblin corpse is enough to cushion that fall.

Hm. Action altered.

On a semi-related topic, the winner of a given fight is the one who still alive when its done, yes?
And I was fighting the goblin chieftain for leadership of the dark fortress, yes?
And only one of us is still alive, yes?

Technically Derm is now leader of the Goblins. In the process of pretending to be Ogomspoxom, he obtained red skin and became the leader of a Goblin fortress. Maybe he was the demon all along...

[HighEndNoob]

Meta:  Gain a new ability.
Fantasy:Stab the Gobbo with my longsword

[Gatleos]

So, uh... all the plot-important NPCs are dead.

Crap.

**********~
Turn 86
**********~

META TURN:

To Deck M3! Maybe!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Valhalla

Actions

RW: Thank Frelock, then go through the elevator.

(...) You trip halfway there. Oh, and you forgot to say thank you.

Meta: To Deck M3!  Maybe!

(...) You drag John into the elevator and press the button for Deck M3. You arrive in an extra crispy hallway covered with metal shavings. You can see Kyle at the other end of the hall screaming and holding his head.

RW: OH GOD FIRE STOP DROP AND ROLL OH GOD WEBBING GET OUT OF THE ROOM AND ROLL!

(...) The sticky fibers wrap around you as you thrash around on the floor. Soon, you're trapped in a sticky, burning cocoon! You can't move and the flames begin to burn your flesh!

Meta: MacGuyver up that web shooter whatever for the droid.

(...) Stepping around the raging fire in the center of the room, you gather some parts together from the various cabinets scattered around and build a web shooter! You then attach it to MC. Now you just need some web to stock it with.

Meta:  Gain a new ability.

(...) Just as you begin to concentrate on gaining new abilities, you are hit with a psychic shockwave given off by Monk's discovery of pyrokinesis! The shockwave unlocks a power buried deep in your psyche. Suddenly, you begin to sense every thought and wireless signal within a mile radius! Your brain feels like it's going to explode! The pain subsides as you don the gas mask. Curiously, it seems to block out the massive amounts of telepathic interference. You should probably learn to control it a little better.


Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: ON MORE FIRE
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Keen Helmet | Leather Gloves | Pencil x4 | Guitar | Coffee Mug | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: Light Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Looking down the hallway.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Fitting MC with a web shooter.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Get it?
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask
Wounds: Missing Legs | Head Bump
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Laying in the elevator.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser | Web Shooter

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The ruins of a once-great Goblin fortress.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
Charred Dreams

Actions

FW: Grab goblin's axe and hit him with it.

(...) You squirm around and kick at the Goblin, not managing to reach your hand over to the axe and grab it.

Fantasy: Now that I have his sword, Kill him.  Kill him now.

(...) Swinging the sword with terrifying efficiency, you behead the Goblin! You then proceed to toss the sword at the gobbo near Urist. It sticks in the Goblin's back, and he goes limp.

FW: Summoning magic cures everything!

(...) You attempt to summon yourself some new skin and a rib. A brand new rib appears in your chest, and in the right spot too! Unfortunately you can't get a replacement for your burnt skin. It's mutilated, not missing.

Fantasy: Attempt to land on the goblin nearest Urist. DEMAND IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION Grapple the side of the tower and swing gently down to safety

(...) You shoot your grappling hook at the side of the tower and slow your descent, gliding down to the snowy ground below. You're starting to feel faint from blood loss.

Fantasy:Stab the Gobbo with my longsword

(...) You stab yourself in the foot!


JC's soft cat carcass cushions the blow and George survives the fall unscathed!

Two suit-wearing figures land in the distance and start walking toward the fortress gates.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Crispifying on the throne room floor.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring | George (commanding) | Chattering Fangs (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Killing gobbos.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Bleeding EVERYWHERE
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Very Heavy Bleeding | Faint
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Stabbing himself.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x21 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Light Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Thrashing on the ground and bleeding. Still.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Iron Chain | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Broken Toe | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

RW: UNWRAP MYSELF OH GOD MC HELP ME.

FW: Get up. Summon snake mount. Ride down castle steps.

You seem to be ignoring my skill-ups.

[Gatleos]

You may notice that Derm didn't get any experience for that at all.

The magic system is a poor sport and doesn't like to be screwed around with.

[Dermonster]

What did I do?

You said summoning magic is from the elemental plane of life! If that isn't a substitute for healing magic (which I have been hinting at trying to learn since the whole bone thing) I don't know what is.

The pyrotechnic this was me trying to maybe shoot a couple fireworks in the air. At no point did I say Kill the plot important goblins, nor did I think I would roll a 7. That was entirely you.

On the other hand you are the GM and have total control over my fate. so... you win >.>

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Create a psychic link between me and my fantasy character. Just because.
FW: Heal monk, then myself.

[Gatleos]

What did I do?

You said summoning magic is from the elemental plane of life! If that isn't a substitute for healing magic (which I have been hinting at trying to learn since the whole bone thing) I don't know what is.

The pyrotechnic this was me trying to maybe shoot a couple fireworks in the air. At no point did I say Kill the plot important goblins, nor did I think I would roll a 7. That was entirely you.

On the other hand you are the GM and have total control over my fate. so... you win >.>

You may be closer to learning straight-up healing magic than you think. The pyrotechnics were a proper spell usage, but your bonus made you land on a 7. You only get a skill-up on a 5 or 6. The healing/summoning spell landed on a 5, but it wasn't a pure summoning spell, so you didn't get any summoning experience.

Keep trying at the healing spells, and you'll eventually be able to get experience for those. Right now, you can only use healing indirectly through summoning magic. But you're getting close.

Healing magic is a bit out of character though if you ask me...

[Dermonster]

Healing spells = Greater abomination potential.

Or making the enemy's brain a hyper advancing mass of cancer.

or perhaps giving myself an extra arm or two.

[Gatleos]

RW: Create a psychic link between me and my fantasy character. Just because.
FW: Kill the gobbo then run to safety while healing myself.

THEY DEAD. And I think someone else might have more use for some healing right now...

Healing spells = Greater abomination potential.

Or making the enemy's brain a hyper advancing mass of cancer.

or perhaps giving myself an extra arm or two.

D: