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[Gatleos]

My time draws near...

Very near...

**********~
Turn 84
**********~

META TURN:

To Deck M3! Maybe!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Valhalla

Actions

Meta: Wonder where on earth I got my wheelchair from, than explore more.

(...) You roll around in the metal shavings for a while, and end up making shaving angels.

RW: Use spear to cut the thing.

MC: Laser the thingy what has the long tongue.

(...) You whip out your spear and slice the strand of white webbing pulling you toward the ceiling! You crash to the floor. (...) MC fires his lazor at the robot on the ceiling and incinerates it before you can get a good look.

RW: Gimme! Grab a space suit.

(...) You open up the supply closet, grab a spacesuit from inside, and put it on.

Meta: Grab a spacesuit, then get myself and DbZ back to the elevator.

(...) You decide a more productive activity would be to throw your knife at John. (...) The knife cuts through the thick spacesuit like butter and jams in John's chest! He falls to the floor.

Meta: Find Derm

(...) You head back to the living complex and find Derm, lying on the floor and covered in some white crap.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Wiping that webbing crap off of himself.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Keen Helmet | Leather Gloves | Pencil x4 | Guitar | Coffee Mug | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Stabbing his friends.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...)
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Staring at Derm.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Screwing around in the hallway.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack
Wounds: Missing Legs | Head Bump
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Laying on the hangar floor.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Fractured Leg | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The ruins of a once-great Goblin fortress.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
Battle

Actions

Fantasy:Throw a throwing knife at the closest Goblin.

(...) You let loose a throwing knife at the nearest Goblin! (...) It decapitates him handily and returns to your hand!

FW: Enter door in an incredibly over the top fashion. Possible use of pyrotechnics.

(...) You push weakly against the throne room door, failing to make it open. What gives?!

FW: Attempt to bandage the wound, then charge back into the fight.

(...) You squirm and bleed all over the ground.

Fantasy: Strike the fool that attacked me.  Yell at elica to begin firing.

(...) You punch yourself in the face, giving yourself a black eye.

Fantasy: Shoot the chief with my grappling hook arm, then in a booze-induced fit of strength throw him towards the main double doors.

(...) You fire your grappling hook! It flies straight past the chieftain and sticks in the wall behind him.

GRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!

The chieftain leaps at Edgar with his greataxe raised over his head, (...) slices off his remaining arm and sends him flying across the room! He slams into the wall and slumps to the floor.

The other two Goblin guards arrive at the gates!

Ngosnud!

The Goblin leaps at Urist! (...) He rolls out of the way and struggles to his feet!

Ngosnud!

Another Goblin stabs at Frelock with a longsword! (...) The blade has lodged firmly in the wound!

A curious storm approaches on the horizon...

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: It's a pull door, dumbass.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Chattering Fangs (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: None
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: GETTIN SHANKED
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Challenging the chieftain twice his size to a one-on-one duel.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Very Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Decapitating gobbos.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x21 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Wobbling around and bleeding.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Iron Chain | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Broken Toe | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat

[Dermonster]

RW: Collect white webbing in mug, analyze, and see possible uses for adding it to MC's arsenal. Spider needs his webbing.

FW: Pull door open then enter in an impossibly over the top fashion. Pyrotechnics are heavily involved.

George: Enter room and strike a menacing pose.

Spmoxu: Facepalm audibly.

Shouldn't Edgars +1 to booze-combat rolls have given him a 3? Both times?

[RedWarrior0]

If I appear this turn:

MW: Enter the scene somewhat anticlimatically
FW: Appear in the throne room and one-up derm's pyrotechnic show. Ludicrous Gibs,

[Frelock]

My, I was productive this turn.

Meta: Get John to the elevator and take him to the med bay.

Fantasy: Pull the sword out of the wound, then dual wield it, say something menacing and witty and go at the goblins.

[Alzeranox]

If somebody dies in the fantasy world, their collar explodes... If somebody does in the real world, can you make their fantasy character explode (If the next person doesn't decide to use it?

[Dermonster]

I don't think the fantasy character should dissapear per-se... Really, if my RW char dies I want Derm to continue causing chaos because who isn't amused at seeing what my wacky antics will cause next?

Anybody even remotely sane doesn't count.

[monk12]

I believe my booze power is offset by my terraphobia at the moment.

Meta: Test whether the webbing is flammable

Fantasy: Retract grappling hook arm, pulling myself across the room and as far from any hypothetical displays of pyrotechnics as possible

...I'm gonna die, aren't I?

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: If Frelock screws up again, rush to the med bay. Otherwise do nothing.
FW: Kill gobbo, then use his shirt (he has one, right?) to bandage the wounds.

[RedWarrior0]

Meta: Test whether the webbing is flammable

Death sentence.
(...) Yes, det cord is indeed flammable.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Get more cleaning supplies.
Fantasy:Throw Throwing Star at Gobbo #4. 'Splode on impact.

[Gatleos]

...DAMMIT DERM!

**********~
Turn 85
**********~

META TURN:

To Deck M3! Maybe!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Valhalla

Actions

RW: Collect white webbing in mug, analyze, and see possible uses for adding it to MC's arsenal. Spider needs his webbing.

(...) You dip your mug in the white crap and collect a glob, then analyze it with your helmet.

Code: [Select]

Synthetic Webbing
This is a highly adhesive substance made to simulate the "webbing" material produced by spiders.
It is designed to be used both offensively and defensively in combat, by immobilizing enemies.It looks suitable for an add-on for MC, if you can figure out how to make a dispenser and attach it to him.

Meta: Get John to the elevator and take him to the med bay.

(...) You quickly hoist John onto your back and carry him to the elevator. After a short elevator ride, you arrive at the med bay. You pull the knife out of the wound, take off the spacesuit, and hand John over to the medi-bot, who sterilizes and bandages the wound.

Meta: Test whether the webbing is flammable

(...) As it turns out, you have pyrokinesis too! The entire pile of webbing (which it turns out is very flammable) catches on fire and engulfs Derm!

RW: If Frelock screws up again, rush to the med bay. Otherwise do nothing.

(...) ...

...

...

Meta: Get more cleaning supplies.

(...) Opening up the janitor's closet, you find a spray can full of highly flammable cleaning solution, and a gas mask. You take both.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: ON FIRE
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Keen Helmet | Leather Gloves | Pencil x4 | Guitar | Coffee Mug | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Helping out John.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Lighting Derm on fire.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Collecting more cleaning supplies.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask
Wounds: Missing Legs | Head Bump
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Getting treated for a stab wound.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The ruins of a once-great Goblin fortress.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
Brutal Battle

Actions

FW: Pull door open then enter in an impossibly over the top fashion. Pyrotechnics are heavily involved.

George: Enter room and strike a menacing pose.

Spmoxu: Facepalm audibly.

(...) Magical energy courses through your veins as you prepare a frighteningly potent spell. The throne room doors explode off their hinges and you fly into the room surrounded by swirling magical energy!

You grab the two axelords who were previously guarding the chieftain, then release all of your energy into their bodies and hurl them up toward the ceiling!







A wall of flame overhead obscures your vision, and the room disintegrates around you!

Fantasy: Pull the sword out of the wound, then dual wield it, say something menacing and witty and go at the goblins.

(...) The Goblin continues to press down on the embedded sword, but you manage to prevent it from going in any further!

Fantasy: Retract grappling hook arm, pulling myself across the room and as far from any hypothetical displays of pyrotechnics as possible

(...) Your grappling hook arm jams!

Fireball of Death!

• Derm: (...) The blast of fire engulfs you and you're severely burned and sent flying into the wall!
• Spmoxu: (...) Spmoxu is incinerated by the blast, and collapses to the ground as a charred corpse.
• Edgar: (...) Just as Derm enters the room, you whirl around and leap through the throne room window! As you hurtle toward the ground, you feel a massive shockwave emanate from the top of the tower and spin around to see a huge explosion from the throne room!
• Chieftain: (...) The chieftain is obliterated by the blast and explodes into a cloud of ash!
• George: (...) JC nuzzles George onto his back and runs for the window!
• JC: (...) JC leaps through the window after Edgar, with George on his back!

FW: Kill gobbo, then use his shirt (he has one, right?) to bandage the wounds.

(...) You swing your axe at the gobbo, slicing its leg and bringing it to the ground!

Fantasy:Throw Throwing Star at Gobbo #4. 'Splode on impact.

(...) The throwing star flies off and explodes uselessly in midair.

GRAAAAHH!

The Goblin struggles on the ground, reaching for its axe!

Asa!

The Goblin attempts to get the better of Frelock! (...) Frelock spins around, pins the Goblin to the ground, and pulls the sword out of his chest! He seems to be trying to come up with a witty one-liner.

The curious storm approaches at an unusual rate.

Code: [Select]

Agent Heldshields: There it is again. We are sure of it, we have several Level 3 Raw Users in the northern glacier, centered around the Dark Goblin Fortress Nolsmustul.
Agent Passedrim: We are on our way.
Agent Salvenames: None shall escape.
Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: OH GOD OH WHY DERM JESUS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Chattering Fangs (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Broken Rib | Heavy Burns
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Standing triumphant over his enemies.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Flying. WHEEEEEEE!
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Very Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Throwing exploding crap everywhere.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x21 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Hacking at gobbo knees.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Iron Chain | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Broken Toe | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Thank Frelock, then go through the elevator.
FW: Grab goblin's axe and hit him with it.

[Frelock]

Meta: To Deck M3!  Maybe!

Fantasy: Now that I have his sword, Kill him.  Kill him now.

Also, when I saw the title, I couldn't help but think that everyone was going to be unable to walk next turn...

[Dermonster]

Yes! HELL YES!

RW: OH GOD FIRE STOP DROP AND ROLL OH GOD WEBBING GET OUT OF THE ROOM AND ROLL!

FW: Summoning magic cures everything!

EVERYTHING

[monk12]

I am pleased with the level of fire in this update. Most pleased.

Meta: MacGuyver up that web shooter whatever for the droid.

Fantasy: Attempt to land on the goblin nearest Urist. DEMAND IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION Grapple the side of the tower and swing gently down to safety