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Author Topic: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 126: Booze Mist Rising]  (Read 299495 times)

Dermonster

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  • Break the world, see what falls out.
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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 73: Derm Atrocity #52]
« Reply #870 on: April 08, 2011, 06:19:09 pm »

How about "Derm can and will succeed in his next spell to his desired intention."?

<-- NITPICKER!!
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

Alzeranox

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 73: Derm Atrocity #52]
« Reply #871 on: April 08, 2011, 10:11:07 pm »

Try a reverse legsplosion on derm, that's sure to recreate his bones.

Also, happy birthday Gatleos
« Last Edit: April 09, 2011, 04:24:17 pm by Alzeranox »
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Gatleos

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 73: Derm Atrocity #52]
« Reply #872 on: April 11, 2011, 02:31:52 pm »

We're back! With plot!

**********~
Turn 74
**********~


META TURN:

And now... The Cheetahmen.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
C.H.E.E.T.A.H.

Actions
Meta: MINDCRUSH MORBIS! CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH
(...)
"Miiiiiiiind Crush!"

You realize that your ancient Egyptian mind tricks only work on organic lifeforms. So you decide to just crush his head instead. Morbis's head starts to compress under the pressure, bending and creaking!
RW: Finish off Greebo

MC: Directive: Free Frelock
(...) You half-heartedly swing your spear at the cheetah. (...) The shot connects and you tear a hole in the cheetah's chest. (...) MC wanders off somewhere...
Meta: Patch up the wound
(...) Working quickly, you patch up the cut with some bandages from the medkit.
Meta: Yell at Kyle to heal me after he's finished, then continue waiting for my beard.
(...)
"Come on..."
Meta: Stab the head!  Stab the head!
(...) You ram your dagger through the cheetah's compressed head, blowing it apart! Circuitry scatters and electricity crackles from the remnants of Morbis's head and the rest of his body slumps to the floor.
Quote from: Greco
REEEEEAAARRRRGGHHH
(...) Greco becomes enraged and leaps out from under the wreckage at (...) John! (...) The enraged cheetah descends upon John, ready to slice him open! Suddenly, he is stopped in midair by a large, green tentacle!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mechanical Feline Twins
Cheetah Bros.
----------------------------
Greco
Head: Crushed
Body: Smashed Open
Arms: Scratched
Legs: Fine
Morbis
Dead

Status

Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Stabbing Morbis.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG

Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Shankity shank.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger
Wounds: Light Bleeding | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...)

Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Flexing his brain on nearby robots.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis

Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Healing himself.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner
Wounds: Missing Legs | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT

Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Sprouting facial deformities. Really cool facial deformities.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Fractured Leg
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser (...)


Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations

The S.S. Periclase

Main Deck

Deck 2

Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator

EARTH!

Elevator Controls

Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.


Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 07, 2011, 02:24:07 pm by Gatleos »
Logged
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU

Dermonster

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #873 on: April 11, 2011, 02:43:55 pm »

Oh my god yes. Blood red bones! MU HA HAHAHAHA!

BIGGEST THING! MISSING TOOTH WOUND IS GONE! ALL IS JOY!

RW: Disassemble Morbis and fashion myself a high tech helmet to assist in various endeavors.

MC: Assimilate Greco.

FW: Ask goblin what is going on.

Cat: Get to the ship.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2011, 02:48:01 pm by dermonster »
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

Frelock

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #874 on: April 11, 2011, 02:45:31 pm »

Meta:Stab the other head if it's still alive

Fantasy: Rest, relax, and enjoy this beautiful day.
Logged
All generalizations are false....including this one.

Dermonster

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #875 on: April 11, 2011, 02:48:57 pm »

Oi Frelock, you want me to summon you a pet snake or something for The whole bone thing?

Also Didn't I heal George?
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

monk12

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #876 on: April 11, 2011, 03:26:04 pm »

Meta: Rip Greco's heart out with my MIND

Fantasy: Capture the goblin

HighEndNoob

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #877 on: April 11, 2011, 05:02:16 pm »

Meta: Get back to my wheelchair, than  pressure-wash that Cheetah to the vet!
Fantasy: Get on the boat
Logged
Quote
(5) You manage to struggle free of the guards and sprint to a safe distance before tossing a knife at one! (5 + 1 = 6) The throwing knife zips through the air, slitting a guard's throat! It then travels around the group of guards like a boomerang. It (5) Slits another throat, (Three 6's in a row!) decapitates three more (!), (4) slices open the last guard's arm, and (2) narrowly misses a random bystander. It then flies back into your hand. Holy crap.

_DivideByZero_

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #878 on: April 11, 2011, 05:02:51 pm »

Meta: OH YEAH! Rip off Greco's arm and use it as a weapon.
Fantasy: Not what I was expecting... I really want to... but it's too risky...
Screw it.
Build this:

[Axe][Chain][Hammer]

Something like a Kusari-Gama but more awesome.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2011, 05:16:47 pm by _DivideByZero_ »
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Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? (Gal 4:16)

monk12

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #879 on: April 11, 2011, 05:14:27 pm »

Meta: OH YEAH! Rip off Greco's arm and use it as a weapon.
Fantasy: Not what I was expecting... I really want to... but it's too risky...
Screw it.
Attach chain to warhammer to turn it into some kind of variation of a meteor hammer.
Then attach axe to other end.

The only way that could be more dwarven would be if it had a beard and was on FIRE.

Frelock

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #880 on: April 11, 2011, 08:35:52 pm »

Oi Frelock, you want me to summon you a pet snake or something for The whole bone thing?

Naw, I'm cool.  Good to see you're feeling better.
Logged
All generalizations are false....including this one.

RedWarrior0

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #881 on: April 11, 2011, 09:07:39 pm »

Fantasy: Cast Summon Bigger Pyrotechnics.
Logged

Beardless

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #882 on: April 12, 2011, 12:10:37 am »

Good god you people are unobservant! Or possibly have a strange set of priorities.

...

Scratch that. You all have very strange priorities, and appear to be unobservant as well.
Logged
So it turns out that dumping magma on skeletons is either a really bad idea or maybe like the best idea ever.

Frelock

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #883 on: April 12, 2011, 12:16:44 am »

Good god you people are unobservant! Or possibly have a strange set of priorities.

...

Scratch that. You all have very strange priorities, and appear to be unobservant as well.

Please, do elaborate.
Logged
All generalizations are false....including this one.

Gatleos

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Re: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 74: Eldritch Puberty]
« Reply #884 on: April 12, 2011, 09:59:28 am »

I'll just get this out of the way...

**********~
Turn 75
**********~


META TURN:

And now... The Cheetahmen.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
C.H.E.E.T.A.H.

Actions
RW: Disassemble Morbis and fashion myself a high tech helmet to assist in various endeavors.

MC: Assimilate Greco.
(...) You tinker around with the various parts and make a high-tech helmet, making sure to only select parts that fit the color scheme for the obscure reference you're trying to make with it.
"Finally! You switched off my speech module a little while ago when you activated my music function. But it looks like I can communicate with you through this helmet.
"This thing is giving me a headache. There's a little cursor flying around, I don't even know what it does."
"You built it, don't you know what it can do?"
"Oh, right! This must be the scanner! I can find out additional info on any object by scanning it with the Z button!"
"Z button?"
"Never mind."
(...) MC hacks into the cheetah's AI and immediately breaks it!
"FAIL-SAFE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE IN 5 SECONDS."
Meta:Stab the other head if it's still alive
(...) You decide it's a better idea to run at this point.
Meta: Rip Greco's heart out with my MIND
(...) You rip out Greco's heart. Wait no, this is his self-destruct mechanism. AAAAAHHHHHH (...) You toss the self-destruct mechanism onto the second floor and it explodes, creating a large breach in the hull! Air starts rushing out into the vacuum of space!
Meta: Get back to my wheelchair, than  pressure-wash that Cheetah to the vet!
(...) You crawl around for a bit, but can't find your wheelchair.
Meta: OH YEAH! Rip off Greco's arm and use it as a weapon.
(...) You rip off the deceased robo-cheetah's arm and wield it as a bludgeoning/slicing weapon!

Greco's body twitches one last time, then jettisons a small keycard!

Chapter 2
Complete!
----------------------------
Casualties: 0
Kills: 8
----------------------------
Amputations: 0
Bionic Enhancements: 0

Status

Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Talking to Marshall.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG

Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Running.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds

Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Causing problems.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis

Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Crawling around.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner
Wounds: Missing Legs | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT

Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Swinging Greco's arm around.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Fractured Leg
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser


Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations

The S.S. Periclase

Main Deck

Deck 2

Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator

EARTH!

Elevator Controls

Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.


Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 07, 2011, 02:24:34 pm by Gatleos »
Logged
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU
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