*Ahem*
HEN will be NPC'd in a few hours. For now, enjoy a summary.
Five heroes, all of disparate backgrounds, met around a table in the Westport tavern:
Derm Hell-binder the elementalist summoner,
Frelock Von-Heisenberg the
thief luck-o-mancer,
Edgar the sky pirate,
HighEndNoob the ninja sniper, and
Artymir the mad scientist. Westport was a small port village, situated along the southern tip of
Hellfire Cove. After angering a warrior at the bar and obtaining a
map of the village from the barkeep, the heroes set out on their mission to kidnap the mayor of the small community. Unfortunately, the manor where the mayor lived was swarming with guards.
Learning of the thieves' guild underneath the local weapons shop, the party contacted them in hopes of joining forces to kidnap the mayor. The thieves agreed, and coincidentally were planning on a raid of the mayor's manor that very night. Preparations were made and the heroes received a
map of the manor. Meanwhile, Derm was captured by guards for his misconduct inside the weapons shop. That night, the raid on the mayor's manor began. Their cover was immediately blown when the glass doors on the second floor balcony were shattered, and they had to fight their way out of the town. Derm summoned a pack of rats to help him escape from the prison along with the warrior from the tavern, and they rejoined the others just as they were escaping the town by boat.
Boarding the
ship that Frelock had purchased earlier that day and named The Borealis, they departed for the sea. During their voyage, they found out that the warrior who they had seen in the tavern and who had escaped from the prison with Derm was after the mayor as well. He was, as she explained, a demon named Ogomspoxom. Ogomspoxom could only truly be defeated if he was cast into the fires of Mt. Helmath before his powers fully returned. As soon as she finished explaining this, Artymir went batshit insane and tried to kill the others. After subduing him, they dumped his body overboard and went along their way. About this time, Derm got bored and turned his last surviving summoned rat into a genetic abomination using additional summoning magic. Then he named him
George. The party then came across a lone Dwarf, drifting the sea on a wooden raft. He introduced himself as
Urist Anvilsmasher, the soapmaker.
Shortly thereafter, the heroes noticed a large navy frigate closing in on them from behind. They were fugitives from the law, and the navy was looking to bring them in. They attempted to escape, but Derm's overzealous use of water magic
sank The Borealis and they had no choice but to surrender to the navy ship. Luckily, Frelock was able to hypnotize the entire crew into thinking they were fish and hijack the ship. Unfortunately, Derm hadn't learned his lesson and caused the formation of a maelstrom that almost sank the navy frigate. The crew, as well as the party's warrior companion, were sucked beneath the waves. At last, the heroes reached the
island of Helmath on their stolen ship.
After a short trek through the town, during which a kitten exploded, a human was fused to a dwarf and a swordfish, and a patrol of guards were cooked inside their own armor, the heroes began their trek through the Jungle of Piercing. Mt. Helmath was at the center of the island, past the thick vegetation. Edgar was captured almost immediately by the island's tribe of feral Elves, along with the sack o' demon he was carrying. Derm summoned a giant riding rat, and Frelock
enslaved befriended an Elf to show him the way to the retreat. He named him Elica
for no particular reason. The party trekked through the jungle and, around nightfall, arrived at the
Elven forest retreat. After storming the retreat head-on and rescuing Edgar from an
interrogation room, the party began ascending the central tree toward the coliseum where the demon was being held. Somewhere along the way, Derm
decided it would be a good idea to use fire magic inside the Elven forest retreat made entirely from wood.
As the retreat burned around them, the heroes finally reached the coliseum at the top of the central tree. The sacrificial ceremony was just beginning, and a wild unicorn was released into the arena to kill the demon. Unbeknownst to the Elves, they would be releasing the demon upon the world once more in doing so. In an attempt to teleport to the top of the tree, Derm accidentally glinched the giant rat with the unicorn, producing the Unirat!
The fight was on! After causing plenty of chaos in the coliseum and
vanquishing the Unirat, the heroes descended to the burning jungle once more on the back of a giant snake that Derm had summoned during the fight. Edgar, Elica and Frelock took the sack o' demon to the summit. On the way, Edgar noticed that they were being observed by a
mysterious man in a suit. They tossed the sack (which they oddly neglected to make sure still had a demon in it) into the volcano, and the island immediately began to quake violently.
Meanwhile, Derm, HEN and Urist were escaping from the burning forest retreat. The fire had extended to the jungle, and was spreading rapidly. After Derm accidentally encased Urist in a block of granite, they began racing through the jungle on Derm's recently summoned giant riding cat. The giant snake carried the granite block containing Urist and followed behind. Edgar, Frelock and Elica were still at the base of the volcano, but were flung violently through the air after Edgar and Frelock used their grappling hook arm and spring shoes (respectively) in tandem. The three of them flew halfway across the island, and landed in the ocean nearby the docks. By this time, Derm, HEN and Urist had reached the town and were heading toward the docks. Urist tried to free himself from the granite block by cutting it with his beard, but accidentally cut off his one remaining arm (the first was lost during the fusion incident and replaced temporarily with a swordfish) in the process. In his desperation, he learned to use his beard as a working limb and achieved TRUE DORFDOM.
The volcano erupted at that moment, showering the jungle with ash. The giant cat wandered off, Urist healed his own arm with his muscle-beard, and Edgar, Frelock and Elica began swimming toward shore. What adventures await these heroes when at last they escape the island of Helmath? Perhaps even the author does not know...
Author
Topic: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 126: Booze Mist Rising] (Read 304119 times)