Wait, this thing has a plot?
**********~
Turn 64
**********~META TURN:This is the least exciting floor, if you couldn't tell already.
GoalsFind the keycard stations.
Current SoundtrackTrespasserActionsMeta: Yell at everyone to heal me (hint hint)
(...)John: "Heal me, don't heal me, whatever's convenient."
Meta:Heal John
(...) It's not working! You're able to stall the bleeding a bit, but it won't stop!
Meta: Heal John
(...) Working as quickly as possible, you knock out John, scalp him with your laser knife, and weave his hair into bandages! You then apply it to all the wounds just in time to save his life! Don't ask me how that works. Unfortunately, he's now bleeding from the head where his scalp used to be.
RW: INVESTIGATE!
(...) You explore every inch of the utility room. That is to say, you stand in place and look around, since the room is about the size of a closet.
Meta: Use telekinetic powers to create a force bandage holding the blood inside John
(...) Voip. Done. Hair bandages seem to be enough though.
Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Looking at PIPES. PIPES!!!
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers |
Metal Spear |
Marshall Coburn (commanding)Wounds: None
Abilities:
Code Expert |
Neckbeard |
NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Healing John.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Laser DaggerWounds: None
Abilities:
Uncanny Prediction |
Actuary's Lament |
Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Psychically healing.
Inventory:
Moist Top Hat |
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Plasma RifleWounds:
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Applied Phlebotinum |
TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life |
MacGyvering |
Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
PictureCurrently: Pretending like he gives a crap.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Mop | Rubber Gloves |
MedkitWounds:
Missing Legs |
Very Heavy BleedingAbilities:
That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! |
Clean Freak |
Custodial Might |
EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Living.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard
Wounds:
Missing Arm |
Broken Nose |
Heavy Bleeding x3Abilities:
Major Payne |
Fullmetal Jacket |
Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description:
A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus. Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities:
Eye Laser
Group AttacksImpromptu SingalongLocations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.
FANTASY TURN:Cast it into the fire!
Goals"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!
Current SoundtrackClimb My Mountain, This HighActionsFantasy: Ride the snake, using my swordfish arm as a lance.
(...) You sit on the snake and prepare to ride.
Fantasy: Find a turtle to mount as my own.
(...) lolwut
Fantasy: Chuck demon into volcano, brush off hands, and calmly wait for giant eagles to arrive, after having a tearful moment with Elica and doing a fake black-out to make everyone think it's the end of the movie.
(...) You throw the bag back down the volcanic slope for teh lulz.
FW: Me: Nothing
Snake: Pick Urist up and drag him to me.
Cat: Help drag urist.
(...)(...) The snake doesn't feel like it.
(...) The cat drags Urist over to you and sets him down.
Fantasy: Oh shit, the G Man! SHOOT HIM WITH THE HARPOON GUN
(...) You fire your harpoon gun at the man-in-suit, but it stops in midair behind him! The harpoon falls uselessly to the ground as the man turns around. The man clutches his ear, then speaks into a mouthpiece and shoots off into the sky at lightning speed.
That was weird.
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derm Hell-binderOccupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Nuthin'
Inventory:
Robes | Spiffy Hat |
Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring |
George (commanding) |
Giant Cat (commanding) |
Sword |
ArmorWounds:
Missing Tooth |
Broken RibAbilities:
Gift of the Magi (...) |
Squishy Wizard |
Summoner (...) |
Water Blast |
Superheat |
Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frelock Von-HeisenbergOccupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Dumbassing. That's a verb now.
Inventory:
Gold Coin |
Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch |
Map of Westport |
Long Sword |
Armor |
Spring Shoes |
Elica Larifera (commanding)Wounds:
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Smooth Criminal |
Accident Waiting to Happen |
Befuddlement |
Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name:
EdgarOccupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Standing at the foot of the volcano.
Inventory:
Sleeveless Long Coat |
Grappling Hook |
Harpoon GunWounds:
Right Forearm Missing |
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Booze Power |
Terraphobia |
Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
HighEndNoobOccupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Riding on JC.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 |
Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x25 |
Sword |
Tattered Shirt |
Leaf BarrelWounds:
Missing Tooth |
Crooked Leg |
Heavy Bleeding x2Abilities:
Immaculate Aim |
Clumsy Fighter |
'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
Urist AnvilsmasherOccupation: Soapmaker
DescriptionCurrently: Sitting on the ground.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap |
Battle Axe |
Bamboo PegarmWounds:
Missing ArmAbilities:
Dabbling Surgeon (...) |
Meager Social Ability |
Martial Trance
Name: George
Description:
A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.Inventory:
Wooden SpearWounds:
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Amphibious
Locations
Hellfire Cove
The BorealisCondition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat