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[Dermonster]

If my one scroll up the page research is correct (It's likely not) then the 50 page post will be in the next three posts.


Edit: Oh wow I was sorta right.

[monk12]

0<3, right?

[Dermonster]

*Is desperately trying to figure out what the hell that emoticon is*

Yes?

[monk12]

lol

0 < 3, as in the mathematical expression.

Although now I want to ascribe meaning to that as an emoticon. Unfortunately it looks a lot like a penis doing what penis's do. Maybe its actually a cyclops cat with a big nose?

[Frelock]

You have a terrible mind.  I'm proud to say I passed my Rorschach on that one. 

Spoiler: On a related note... (click to show/hide)

[Gatleos]

He's an employee at Valve, I'm certain.

Hey, I was busy. I'm not sure how I put it off this long.

[Gatleos]

40d/2010 wait is over, now for the rapid series of bugfix releases.

**********~
Turn 62
**********~

META TURN:

LEAPING METAL DEATH SKELETONS

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Space Pirates

Actions

Meta: Find robots! Shoot them! Repeatedly!

(...) You shoulder-thrust straight through the pile of rubble and fire a burst of plasma at the droid attacking Frelock, catching it by surprise! (...) The blast obliterates the droid immediately.
Monk: "*Cocks Gun* Let's get moving."
...Wait, why are you able to cock an energy weapon? That doesn't make any sense.

RW: Attatch a metal shard to my metal rod to form a makeshift spear.
MC: Directive: Eliminate all hostiles.

(...) You awkwardly jam a jagged piece of metal onto the end of the rod. It... sort of works, you guess. (...) Monk sort of already took care of all the enemies around.

Meta: Find robot, than CHARGE!!!!!!!

(...) We've gone over this.

Meta: Stabby Stabby

(...) You stab John in the chest!
John: "AAAAAGGGHHH GOD DAMN IT"

Meta: Find a pole.

(...) Nnnnnnnope. No pole.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Poking around with his "spear".
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Stabbing John.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger
Wounds: Light Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Lampshading.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Picture
Currently: Nothing, really.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit
Wounds: Missing Legs | Very Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Slapping Kyle.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

FIRE!!! BURN BOBONGA

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
Paleolithic Park

Actions

Fantasy: Continue my arboreal escape.

(...)
Edgar: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
You slipped off the vine, if that wasn't clear.

FW:George: Enact vengeance.
Me; Summon George to me.
Snake: Descend
Cat: Grab Noob and get abscondin'!

DM: Order nature buddies.
(...) George playfully bites at the Elf's fingers, and she falls into the flaming abyss below!
==>
(...) You use your short-range teleportation powers to return George to you WHY ARE HIS LEGS ENCASED IN WOOD oh whatever. You heft him onto the snake and prepare to ride!
==>
(...) The snake slithers over the edge of the tree WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS OH JEGUS IT KEEPS HAPPENING NO FLIP THE SNAKE TURNWAYS AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH
==>
(...) Amazingly, JC is able to regain consciousness and grab HEN! JC ceases to agress and proceeds to abscond over the edge of the tree.

JC reaches the ground to find a massive snake corpse which provided cushioning for two men and a rat. Everyone except the snake is okay!

Fantasy: Shoot the snake Urist got himself into.

(...) You shoot several rounds at the dead snake.

Fantasy: Proceed swinging through the trees towards the volcano with the mayor.

(...)
Frelock: "Weeeeeeeee!"
You swing all the way through the jungle and arrive at the foot of the volcano! You can feel the heat of the spreading forest fire behind you.

Fantasy: Get out of the snake's mouth and ride it.

(...) You swing up onto the snake and start riding it!
Urist: "YEEEEHAAAAWWW" *CRUNCH*
The snake breaks the fall, fatally.

Flee The Tree Debris!

• dermonster: (...) You collapse to the ground in pain as your rib gives way under a large tree branch which pins you to the snake corpse!
• Frelock: (...) You're not out of the woods yet! Oh wait, yes you are. *Ba-Dum Tsh*
• monk12: (...) A flaming fan leaf gently drapes over you. It's nice and warm for a few seconds, then comes the BURNING PAIN.
• HighEndNoob: (...) The cat leaps out of the way as a flaming tree branch pins the others to the ground!
• _DivideByZero_: (...) You're knocked to the ground as well by the branch. You can't move!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Riding the dead snake.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Rib
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Standing at the foot of the volcano.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Laying on the jungle floor.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Riding on JC.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x25 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Crooked Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Laying on the dead snake.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat

[Dermonster]

RW: Go to where the robots came from.

FW: Water blast this damned branch off of me.

Cat: Rescue Urist from fires and branches.

George: Seek medical assistance. Somehow.

[monk12]

Meta: Wander around until I find something interesting

Fantasy: To the volcano!

[Frelock]

Meta: Get John back to the elevator, and take him to the medbay as an apology.

Fantasy: Climb the volcano and cast it into the fire!  Destroy it!

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Be useless.
Fantasy: Try to resuscitate the snake.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Try to heal john AGAIN!
Fantasy: Pull Urist from the wreckage.

[Gatleos]

So RedWarrior0, about that spot...

**********~
Turn 63
**********~

META TURN:

This is the least exciting floor, if you couldn't tell already.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Trespasser

Actions

RW: Go to where the robots came from.

(...) You ride Marshall over to the door the robots came out of. Looks like nothing but a small utility closet in the corner of the living areas. What were they doing in here?

Meta: Wander around until I find something interesting

(...) You run a full circuit around the living area! Of course, you forget to take note of anything you see. At least we know it's a circuit now.

Meta: Get John back to the elevator, and take him to the medbay as an apology.

(...) The elevator door seems to have sealed itself behind you. Crap.

Meta: Be useless.

(...) You are so incredibly useless that your sheer incompetence makes the situation ten times worse for no apparent reason. The blood starts shooting out of your chest three times as fast! You're almost dead from blood loss!

Meta: Try to heal john AGAIN!

(...) You just don't feel like healing someone so useless.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Looking at PIPES.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Whistling.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger
Wounds: None
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Running around aimlessly.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Picture
Currently: Not giving a crap.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit
Wounds: Missing Legs | Very Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Dying.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Heavy Bleeding x2 | Pale
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

FIRE!!! BURN BOBONGA

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
Climb My Mountain, This High

Actions

FW: Water blast this damned branch off of me.

Cat: Rescue Urist from fires and branches.

George: Seek medical assistance. Somehow.

(...) The flames on the branch are extinguished immediately and the branch flies several dozen feet through the air! (...) JC pulls Urist out of the fire and shakes him around to fan out the flames! (...) George shimmies over to Urist on the massive slab of wood that has replaced his legs and tugs at his robe. Urist doesn't notice somehow.

Fantasy: To the volcano!

(...) You pat out the flames and run toward the volcano's slope! You can see Frelock and Elica running ahead. And there's someone following them. Wearing a... suit?

Fantasy: Climb the volcano and cast it into the fire!  Destroy it!

(...) You and Elica run up the mountain slope and near the crater. Smoke billows up from the pit below.  From here, you can see all the way to the village. The fire is spreading quickly through the jungle.

Fantasy: Try to resuscitate the snake.

What, are you stupid or something? Every one of the snake's bones is crushed! Its internal organs are torn apart! There is no way you can - (...) You resuscitate the snake.

Fantasy: Pull Urist from the wreckage.

(...) You help JC pull Urist out of the flames!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: STOP DROP ROLL
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Rib
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Standing at the crater with the sack o' demon.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Standing at the foot of the volcano.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Riding on JC.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x25 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Crooked Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Medical practice and/or resurrection.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Yell at everyone to heal me (hint hint)
Fantasy: Ride the snake, using my swordfish arm as a lance.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta:Heal John

Fantasy: Find a turtle to mount as my own.