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[Gatleos]

Oh hey, a new type of injury. And lots of blood.

**********~
Turn 47
**********~

META TURN:
Xenocalamus!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
G.U.N. Mobile

Actions

RW: GIGA BAR TO THE FACE BREAKER (Use knowledge of computers to target his weak point.)

Spider: Attack.

(...) No face broken, but (...) you hit Monk in the head with your rod! He looks dazed! (...) The mecha-spider jumps onto Xenocalamus's back and begins tearing at it. Xenocalamus squirms around, but can't shake off MC!

Meta: Use telekinetic powers to rip out mechanical innards

(...) You patch its face up with your telekinesis! How nice of you.

Meta: Calm down and thank Kyle.

(...)
John: "AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH"

Meta: Pullk out my mop, and use the GM to propel myself onto the boss' back

(...)
Kyle: "RRRRREEEEEEAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH"
You power up the GM so much that it explodes and sends you flying through the air! You receive burns over 90% of your body and slam violently into the far wall!

Meta: Flying kick at the snake!

(...) Xenocalamus headbutts you out of the air before you can kick it!

HISSSSSSSSS

Xenocalamus bites at John as he lays helpless before it. (...) He rolls out of the way and the snake's massive jaws scrape at the metal floor! Xenocalamus's eye begins glowing even brighter, and it shoots a searing hot laser beam from it directly at (...) John! (...) The beam incinerates John's left arm!

Enormous Bionic Adder
Xenocalamus
----------------------------
Head: Singed
Body: Singed and Battered
Tail: Fine

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Smacking Monk around.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Bar | Mecha-spider (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Being swatted around.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit
Wounds: None
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Healing Xenocalamus.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Frag Grenade x3 | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Extra crispy.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Dying.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Unicorn Band-aids
Wounds: Missing Arm | Very Heavy Bleeding | Heavy Bleeding | Broken Nose
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

Helmath: City of Light... City of MAGIC!

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
Clock Town - Day 2 Redux

Actions

FW: MORE SUMMONING MAGIC INTO THE BLOB! Then run like hell towards the volcano.

(...) The blob pulsates for a moment, then explodes violently! You're sent flying through the air and land on top of the group of approaching guards, knocking them over!

Fantasy: Fight wilderness

(...) Eyes shine in the bushes, then a tiger leaps at you! It knocks you over and latches onto your arm!

Fantasy: Engage in conventional warfare.

(...) You fall on your face under HighEndNoob's weight!

Fantasy: pull out 4 throwing-knifes, and prepare to throw them at the guards.

(...) The world turns upside-down as your head bumps the pavement in front of Urist. You can't reach your knives!

Meta: Flying kick at the snake!

Fantasy: Continue further into the jungle, towards the volcano.

(...) You head further into the jungle. It's starting to get darker. You can't tell if sunset is approaching or the foliage is just that thick.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Laying on top of the guards.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Black Eye
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Exploring the jungle.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Sack o' Gold | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: About to get mauled.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Armor
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Being carried around by Urist.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Sword | Musket | Musket Ammo x34
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Leg
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Administrator
Description
Currently: Laying on the street.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Swordfish (Commanding) | Swordfish Arm
Wounds: None
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor

[RedWarrior0]

It appears my wish shall be granted.

[Gatleos]

It appears my wish shall be granted.

It was the RNG, I swear!

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Wouldn't it technically cauterize the wound, too?
Stop the bleeding by tearing off the other sleeve of my suit and using that.
Fantasy: Get up and charge into battle.

[Gatleos]

Meta: Wouldn't it technically cauterize the wound, too?

You'll just have to trust that these energy weapons are meant to kill people, not safely remove their limbs.

[monk12]

Noooo! I'm running out of arms!


Meta: Back to plan A! SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD!

Fantasy: Poke the eye of the tiger to free my arm, then mount up and ride!

[Dermonster]

RW: STRIFE! @ SNAKE!

MC: Go for the optics!

FW: Get up and run, tectonic shift ground behind me.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: "NOOOOOOOOO! DIEDIEDIE!" Jump onto the back of the boss and slash it's head off with the mop.
Fantasy: get up, and get out three knives.

[Frelock]

Meta: Hide for a turn, and tweak the odds. Go for broke, gentlemen. 

Fantasy: Continue to the volcano.  Hack at the brush with my sword, if need be.

[Gatleos]

• Tweak The Odds
• +1 Weapon Roll
• Rolled a Six

ಠ_ಠ

**********~
Turn 48
**********~

META TURN:
Xenocalamus!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
G.U.N. Mobile

Actions

Meta: Stop the bleeding by tearing off the other sleeve of my suit and using that.

(...) You somehow manage to wrap up your arm with the sleeve of your jumpsuit. You successfully stop the bleeding, but the pain is blinding.

Meta: Back to plan A! SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD!

(...) You misfire and send sparks flying off the wall!

RW: STRIFE! @ SNAKE!

MC: Go for the optics!

(...) You begin foaming at the mouth and knock Monk unconscious with the rod! You then infuse the rod with more NERD RAEG and send it flying around the room!

Dodge The RAEG!

• Xenocalamus: (...) The rod slices Xenocalamus in half, and it falls to the floor!
• Frelock: (...) The glowing blade of energy passes by below as you hide above!
• monk12: The rod passes over you harmlessly in your incapacitated state.
• HighEndNoob: (...)As you hobble aimlessly, the rod flies by and removes both your legs at the knees!
• _DivideByZero_: (...) The rod flies directly at you, but you leap into the air with the lower half of Xenocalamus attached to your leg!
• MC: (...) The spinning rod slices off two of the mecha-spider mecha-cpider's legs and it falls to the floor!

Meta: "NOOOOOOOOO! DIEDIEDIE!" Jump onto the back of the boss and slash it's head off with the mop.

(...) You begin shrieking and running around, your flesh burning as you swing your mop wildly! You can't even see what you're doing. Wait... you're a hideously disfigured guy with burnt skin carrying around a mop... where have I seen something like this before? Suddenly, something flies by and lops off both your legs at the knees! AAAAGGGGGHHHH

Meta: Hide for a turn, and tweak the odds.

(...) You leap into the air and hide inside the safe, dark tunnel in the ceiling that Xenocalamus fell out of.

HISSSSSSSSS

The upper half of Xenocalamus starts squirming toward (...) Kyle, and bites at him! (...) It picks up Kyle in its jaws, shaking him around violently and tearing the flesh on his back and stomach!

Enormous Bionic Adder
Xenocalamus
----------------------------
Head: Singed
Body: Cut in Half
Tail: Fine

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: KILLING US ALL.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Bar | Mecha-spider (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Hiding in the ceiling.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit
Wounds: None
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Unconscious.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Frag Grenade x3 | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Light Bleeding
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: OH GOD WHY
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit
Wounds: Missing Legs | Heavy Burns | Heavy Bleeding | Very Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Feeling woozy from blood loss.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Unicorn Band-aids
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding | Broken Nose
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The Jungle of Piercing calls to you...

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
The Island Is Calling

Actions

Fantasy: Get up and charge into battle.

(...) You get up and awkwardly sprint toward the guards!

Fantasy: Poke the eye of the tiger to free my arm, then mount up and ride!

(...) You rise up to the challenge of the tiger and poke it in the eye! With just your will to survive, you swing up onto the tiger's back and try to tame it! It struggles for a while then calms down. You're not sure how you did it, but you tamed the tiger.

FW: Get up and run, tectonic shift ground behind me.

(...) You scramble out of the pile of guards and start crawling away! Once at a safe distance, you use tectonic shift on the ground beneath the guards. (...) Several rock spires shoot out of the ground around the guards and form a cage!

Fantasy: get up, and get out three knives.

(...) You squirm around but still can't reach the knives.

Fantasy: Continue to the volcano.  Hack at the brush with my sword, if need be.

(...) You walk back into town. Well that was a waste of time.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Crawling toward the jungle.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Black Eye
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Standing at the edge of town.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Sack o' Gold | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Tiger-riding.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Armor | Tiger (commanding)
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Being carried around by Urist.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Sword | Musket | Musket Ammo x34
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Leg
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Administrator
Description
Currently: Running around screaming about something or other.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Swordfish (Commanding) | Swordfish Arm
Wounds: None
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor

[Dermonster]

Oh my god I am laughing so hard right now. Am I the best player or WHAT.

RW: Get to mecha-spider and hack the snake with the wireless system.

FW: TO THE JUNGLE! Summon a cat on the way there.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: I HATE THIS DICE! Attack Xeno-whatever in the head with my mop, than try to patch up the bleeding.
Fantasy: STUPID DWARF! Pull out my sword.

[monk12]

Meta: Have an out of body experience

Fantasy: Retrieve the mayor and haul ass to the volcano!

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Find something to build a fake arm out of.
Fantasy: Steal HEN's sword.

[Frelock]

Meta: Jump down, grab Kyle, and run to the medical bay.

Fantasy: Re-try trek through wilderness.