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[Gatleos]

The turn'll be up soon, I... just need time to regain my composure...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...I b-b-beat I Wanna Be The Guy...

[monk12]

*Applause*

You may want to seek counseling, though- a few guys I know who went through that ended up with PTSD

[HighEndNoob]

Now try every stage in Super Meat Boy

[Frelock]

Now try every stage in Super Meat Boy

I'm working on that myself; good times.  Almost 50% complete.

[HighEndNoob]

I got about 65% before my comp broke >.>

[Gatleos]

The next turn is a travel turn. From now on, travel turns will be condensed into one update, with all of your actions during the journey given at once. For this travel turn, you can give three fantasy actions. You can give less if you want, to reduce the possibility of catastrophic failure. But you won't get as much accomplished.

**********~
Turn 78
**********~

META TURN:

Keycards: 2/8

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Elevator Room

Actions

Meta: Rip the Cheetah's legs off, than put them on me.

(...) You swing the cheetah corpse around in an attempt to tear the legs off, and hit John in the face with it. You probably couldn't just attach them to your waist, anyway. There is a newly accessible bionics lab nearby, though...

RW: Examine color of keycard and return MC to the English language. (If I somehow fail I hope you make it Spanish.)

(...) Current access level: Pink.

You switch MC's language back to English.
"Finally."

Meta: Ask if we are beating the other groups USE MACGUYVER ABILITIES TO AID HEN

(...) You take Kyle's gloves and make a balloon animal out of them.

RW: Attach cheetah arm to missing arm.

(...) You jam the cheetah arm onto your stump. You now have a long piece of metal hanging out of your torso. Maybe you should actually get it connected to your nervous system.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meta:Medical bay, now.

(...) You drag yourself into the medical bay and the medi-bot immediately sprays your chest down with ointment. The ointment hardens into some sort of gel-like bandage.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Adjusting MC's speech functions.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Getting his chest wound healed.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Making balloon animals.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Swinging a cheetah corpse around. Reminds me of adventure mode...
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner
Wounds: Missing Legs | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Ramming metal objects into his torso.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Fractured Leg
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The next voyage is upon you!

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
Inside The Pirate Ship

Actions

Fantasy: Get Urist to heal me

(...) You mean the guy down at the bottom of the ship, in a dark hole? He's down at the bottom of the ship. In a dark hole.

FW: Turn the ship Northwards! CHARGE!

(...) A swirling column of water heaves the ship through the air, northward. As you fly forward, the column of water fans out into a great wave, the ship resting on the crest. It looks stable for now, but the wave may soon break and hurl the ship bow-first into the sea!

Fantasy: Rip the arrow out of HEN's arm.

(...) You violently yank the arrow out of HEN's arm! Could have been a little gentler, but it's out.

FW: Find a rat/other creature down here and butcher it for some bones, so I can make a splint out of that. Ignore any materials that may or may not be more practical to use.

(...) You butcher a nearby rat, remove the bones, clean the bones, and craft the bones into a rat bone splint.

Fantasy: Convince HEN's crooked leg that it really should be straight.

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Your powers of persuasion can't just make things happen, that's just stupi- (...) HEN's leg straightens out.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: That's what the turn title is about.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: None
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Wha...
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Pulling an arrow out of HEN's arm.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Wasting his turn.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x25 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Working on his bonecrafting.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Iron Chain | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding | Broken Toe
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat

[Dermonster]

RW: Examine pedistal, then enter elevator.

FW: 1. Slow ship to a more manageable, but still fairly great speed.

FW: 2. Attempt meditation and decipher how I healed various injuries with my magic.

FW: 3. Channel summoning magic into my tooth. Lots of summoning magic.

[Gatleos]

RW: Enter pink portal.

wut

[Dermonster]

What? Don't they lead to new areas of the ship?

Oh god its my 'panic and think I'm a major idiot' time again.

BRACE YOURSELVES, WE'RE GETTING STUPID.

[monk12]

RW: Enter pink portal.

wut

Now you're thinking with portals!

Meta: Hop in the elevator, pick a deck at random let the hippo pick a deck

Fantasy: Brew alcohol (x3)

[Gatleos]

What? Don't they lead to new areas of the ship?

Oh god its my 'panic and think I'm a major idiot' time again.

BRACE YOURSELVES, WE'RE GETTING STUPID.

The pink pad goes back to where you just were. They're just there to avoid backtracking. The elevator is your ticket to the next part of the ship. If you want to know where the next keycard is, I'd look at the flashy pedestal.

Fantasy: Brew alcohol (x3)

3 units of alcohol, or laughing cat?

[monk12]

I was gonna go with 3 attempts at brewing alcohol for my three actions, but if there is a laughing cat I can brew so much the better!

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Crawl to the new pink zone and see If I can find new legs
Fantasy:
1. Pull Urist out of hole
2. Have him heal me.
3. Throw something off the boat.

[Frelock]

Meta: See if the keycard station will tell me what things require pink access, and where those things are.

Fantasy: Move to the back of the ship, increasing the rear weight so we don't flip over.

[monk12]

Meta: See if the keycard station will tell me what things require pink access, and where those things are.

Fantasy: Move to the back of the ship, increasing the rear weight so we don't flip over.

Ah, so the ship is like a school bus!