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[monk12]

What's this!?! RTRTD on the bottom of page one!!? No posts of any kind in 22 hours?!? THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD!

[Gatleos]

And I was just about to post a preemptive "it was internet trouble, before you ask". Now it's ruined. Thanks a lot.




Among other things...

[Dermonster]

Welp, I'm off to sleep now, I am sad.

No turn for me today, my fix goes unsatisfied.

Gat how dare you make me an addict!

[monk12]

And I was just about to post a preemptive "it was internet trouble, before you ask". Now it's ruined. Thanks a lot.




Among other things...

You are welcome.

[Gatleos]

Entertain yourself until I'm finished with the turn by reading one of the more addicting pages on TVTropes.

[monk12]

Entertain yourself until I'm finished with the turn by reading one of the more addicting pages on TVTropes.

NOOOOOO! There goes my evening...

[Gatleos]

...Frelock, when you said the 3rd floor, did you mean deck 3 or the 3rd deck from the top? If you were going for that pedestal that was just revealed, that would be deck 2.

EDIT: ASSUMPTION TIME

[monk12]

I would just like to say that it is five hours later and I am only now escaping TvTropes. I HAD PLANS YOU KNOW

[Gatleos]

I would just like to say that it is five hours later and I am only now escaping TvTropes. I HAD PLANS YOU KNOW

Looks like my plan worked perfectly. The distraction was sufficient to finish the next turn just as you returned to the thread.

The singalong will give a +4 bonus now, in stead of +3. And Derm's still the anti-party-member.

**********~
Turn 57
**********~

META TURN:

Chapter 2: The Magnificent Cheetahmen

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Use your imagination for the name of the first chapter.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
G.F.S. Olympus

Actions
The elevator arrives at the 3rd floor Deck 2.

Meta: heal john's nose

(...) You apply one of those nose cast thingies to John's nose. All done!

Meta: Find something to sharpen the shard on, I guess.

(...) Nope, no metal protrusions around.

RW: Get out into the floor. Check for enemies or interesting sights.

(...) Riding on Marshall, you explore the hallway. Looks like the hallway of an apartment building or hotel, flanked on either side with fairly roomy bunks. Some of the doors are open, and you can see bloodstains inside some of the rooms. There's debris everywhere, and a massive mound of it is blocking the hallway a little way down. There are eight doors before the pile of rubble, four on each side. Three appear to be open.

Meta: Ask the pirates for advice

(...)
LeChuck: "Exclamations! How do you expect a figment such as me to answer a question like that? I'm in your head, old boy!
Marley: "Third doowr on zee left, climb into next room, forwerd twice, then take zee right corridowr."
LeChuck: "..."
Monk: "Thanks!"

Meta: Explore the third deck

(...) You walk out into the hallway and enter the first door on the right, which appears to be open. Looks like crew quarters, though very spacious. There's a desk with drawers and a computer, bunk bed, closet, and various bits of debris scattered about the room. It's messy, but not torn apart like the hallway.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Exploring the hallway.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Bar | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Exploring the crew quarters.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit
Wounds: None
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Talking to himself.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Frag Grenade x3 | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Picture
Currently: Healing John.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit
Wounds: Missing Legs | Heavy Burns | Heavy Bleeding | Very Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Nothing in particular.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard
Wounds: Missing Arm | Very Heavy Bleeding | Broken Nose
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The Elven sacrifice will soon begin has begun!

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
Paleolithic Park

Actions

Fantasy: sigh, than load my musket

(...)
HEN: "*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*"
You load some ammo in to your musket and prepare to fire. Suddenly, the giant rat begins to shimmer!
AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
You appear in the center of a coliseum, but the rat is nowhere to be found.

Fantasy: Continue martial trance.

(...) Acting voluntarily this time, you run up the stairs and burst through a wooden palisade into a large arena. Just then, a massive figure explodes through the gate on the opposite side of the arena! It's a unicorn! Unfortunately, your martial trance wears off at that very moment.

FW: Reverse summon myself (And companions) to the top of the tree.

(...) You're not even sure that's how summoning works, but your track record is so good you figure flinging yourself, a giant rat, and a giant cat through hyperspace by abusing the mechanics of summoning magic is a fantastic idea. Let's do it -
SWEET SANKIS THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER OH ARMOK OH WHY GOOD LORD WHYYYYYYYYYY
You and the cat appear several z-levels above the coliseum pit, and fall to the ground below. The cat lands flat on its paws, while you land hard on the coliseum floor and break a rib. George is nowhere to be seen.

Fantasy: Dun dadun daaaaa! Use my grappling hook to swing gracefully into the coliseum, grab the sack, and land safely on the opposite side.

(...) Apparently having a much better grasp of political science than the laws of physics, you shoot your harpoon at the empty space above the coliseum and leap into the crowd! You then proceed to crowd-surf down to the pit and land face-first on the dirt ground. Suddenly, a giant cat appears overhead and you roll out of the way just in time to dodge it!

Fantasy:  Tell Elica to get out of here at meet us as the base of the tree. Push open the palisade doors and use my spring boots to help Monk, should he not succeed.

(...)
Frelock: "Elica, wait for us at ground level."
Elica nods and runs down the hallway to the right. Suddenly, Urist comes running up the stairs and busts through the palisade doors! You follow him through the doorway and, anticipating a flying Edgar at any second, leap through the air with your spring shoes! You soar across the coliseum and land on the back of a unicorn as it gallops through a large gate at the other end!

Meanwhile, in hyperspace...
Giant Rat: "Skreeeeeeeeeee!"

The unicorn begins to thrash around and shimmer! It undergoes a frightening transformation as the giant rat exits hyperspace inside of it! It has transformed into the fearsome unirat! The unirat rampages around the coliseum as the spectators scatter in a frenzy! It steps on the palisade gate, causing your escape route to collapse! You're screwed now!

Freakish Horned Sewer-Dweller
Unirat
----------------------------
Head: Fine
Body: Fine
Tail: Fine
Front Legs: Fine
Back Legs: Fine

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Feeling a profound sense of satisfaction.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Giant Rat (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Rib
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Riding on Unirat.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Laying in the coliseum.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Sitting in the coliseum.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x33 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Administrator
Description
Currently: Standing in the coliseum.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance (...)
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: None
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat

[monk12]

Meta: Do what the voices in my head tell me to

Fantasy: Find and recover booze


Also whee first!

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Follow someone important.
Fantasy: Slay Unirat. Try to hack off its horn and use the horn to kill it.

[Dermonster]

RW: Go through the rightmost door

FW: Me: Cast... dammit, we're on a tree. Oh wait I don't care. Combine overheat and Waterblast again, fire upon Unirat. we'll see how that goes.
Giant cat: Go to Urist, pick him up, and drag him here.
George: Get to the coliseum.

[Beardless]

The unicorn begins to thrash around and shimmer! It undergoes a frightening transformation as the giant rat exits hyperspace inside of it! It has transformed into the fearsome unirat! The unirat rampages around the coliseum as the spectators scatter in a frenzy! It steps on the palisade gate, causing your escape route to collapse! You're screwed now!
Status
Player: dermonster
Currently: Feeling a profound sense of satisfaction.

That was totally on purpose. For the extra XP, right?

(Also: How the hell did you manage to get out of there in only 5 hours, Monk?)

[Alzeranox]

Did I miss something?  How does George, which is a rather large, but not that large rat have an entire wooden spear in it's inventory?  Also... succession is up, just thought Id leave that here for anyone who knows what that means.

[Dermonster]

George is so badass that he can just do that.