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Author Topic: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had  (Read 13508 times)

Funtimes

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #60 on: December 26, 2010, 06:35:14 pm »

Had a legendary fish dissector (in a desert biome) that got attacked and beaten by an animal (think it was an elk or something) on his way in as a migrant. 

Managed to kill it, but ended up in hospital unable to walk.  Not only useless skills, and me unable to get him to do anything useful, but he actually consumes food & stuff...

Then you know what must be done: !!MAGMA!!

Oh no, use repeated 2-3z drops, increasing as necessary. Train your healthcare systems.
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ext0l

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #61 on: December 26, 2010, 07:08:53 pm »

Dwarf Children. I hate them.  >:(
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Scylla

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #62 on: December 27, 2010, 12:13:38 pm »

legendary milker. I'm serious.

The old dwarf reclined by the dwindling fire, surrounded by his young charges. The faint glow of the embers threw his wistful expression into sharp relief.
"Get comfortable children, for I am about to recount the tale of ... Urist McMilker
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Urist the Miner: Expedition leader? would you mind telling us why we stopped ON TOP OF A GOBLIN TOWER?
Urist the Leader: What? Goblin tower? Where?
Urist the Miner: WE'RE ON TOP OF IT!How did you even get the wagon up here?
Urist the Leader: Clever bastards... Must've built it from right from beneath us!

Gzalzi

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #63 on: December 27, 2010, 01:54:53 pm »

Just about all of them. I tend to use only one Dwarf for my important jobs in my early Fortress, yet within a year I've got 20 more dwarves than I care to have. I end up putting more than 60% of them in the Militia.
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Conrad

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #64 on: December 28, 2010, 01:51:54 pm »

Back in 40d, after the tenth fish dissector wave, I gave up on migrants. Anything that came from the edge of the map was assigned masonry and mechanic labors. Oh, the things we built! I must say migrants become mighty useful when you have an army of mechanics and masons. With proper stockpiling, you can have a trap-laden tower up in a month.
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"College? Dude, I played Dwarf Fortress. My diploma menaces with spikes of knowledge."

EmperorNuthulu

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #65 on: December 28, 2010, 02:56:41 pm »

 You know it makes me wonder, how do you become a legendary fish cleaner? How could you be considered legendary at it?
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Blargh.

Ivan Issaccs

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #66 on: December 28, 2010, 03:23:52 pm »

I always enjoy getting those immigrants that are like "I can make soap and potash and lye and cheese and-" then I cut them off with a "Hope you like bricks!" as I turn them into a mason.

Sigged.
Too be honest though if I had a useless migrant I'd have them test that my magma forges fuel source was hot enough although since the hauntings thing I send them into a room full of remotely operated spike traps and sacrifice them to the FPS Gods.
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I always enjoy getting those immigrants that are like "I can make soap and potash and lye and cheese and-" then I cut them off with a "Hope you like bricks!" as I turn them into a mason.

Mr. Argent

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #67 on: December 28, 2010, 03:26:51 pm »

I've set up a 'Migrant Town' outside of my fortress, where i try to train them to have useful skills and eventually integrate them into the fortress proper. With any luck, i'll be able to turn all my lye makers, milkers and so on into productive miners, butchers, metalworkers and so on.
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Urist McVenom Cancels strange mood: Being exiled.

Jacob/Lee

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #68 on: December 28, 2010, 04:16:54 pm »

Does 'Migrant Town' have any defenses?

Mr. Argent

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #69 on: December 28, 2010, 04:23:42 pm »

Some, but not really. It's the Freeside to my fort's New Vegas Strip. should probably ramp it up a bit, though, seeing as most of my farms are there and i'm running out of plants to gather.
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Urist McVenom Cancels strange mood: Being exiled.

Zaerosz

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #70 on: December 28, 2010, 04:51:42 pm »

You know it makes me wonder, how do you become a legendary fish cleaner? How could you be considered legendary at it?
You hand him a fish, blink and he hands you fresh dwarven sushi.
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くコ:彡

Jake

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #71 on: December 28, 2010, 06:46:24 pm »

You hand him a fish, blink and he hands you fresh dwarven sushi.
I could do with one of them in my current fort; I set my chief medical dwarf to fishing to give him something to do that keeps him close to the sick-bay, and we've gone a full year without anyone getting a scratch. He must be the world's happiest on-call GP.

And the only skill I really can't ever seem to find a use for as of .31 are fish and animal dissectors, but that'll probably change when extracts start doing something useful.
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Never used Dwarf Therapist, mods or tilesets in all the years I've been playing.
I think Toady's confusing interface better simulates the experience of a bunch of disorganised drunken dwarves running a fort.

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Funtimes

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #72 on: December 28, 2010, 07:21:02 pm »

You hand him a fish, blink and he hands you fresh dwarven sushi.
I could do with one of them in my current fort; I set my chief medical dwarf to fishing to give him something to do that keeps him close to the sick-bay, and we've gone a full year without anyone getting a scratch. He must be the world's happiest on-call GP.

And the only skill I really can't ever seem to find a use for as of .31 are fish and animal dissectors, but that'll probably change when extracts start doing something useful.

As soon as you can use extracts as anaesthetics, your fortress is going to turn into an episode of Stargate Atlantis.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #73 on: December 29, 2010, 05:36:55 pm »

Recently, in my first wave of immigrants, I got...a siege engineer. Nothing else. Not even social skills!
Well, haulers are always nice...
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Sig
Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

Musashi

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #74 on: December 29, 2010, 05:45:49 pm »

Recently, in my first wave of immigrants, I got...a siege engineer. Nothing else. Not even social skills!
Well, haulers are always nice...
It's an engineer. If you read Dilbert, you'd already know engineers aren't supposed to have any social skill whatsoever.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.
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