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Author Topic: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had  (Read 13512 times)

gtmattz

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #45 on: December 24, 2010, 01:49:06 pm »

The immigrant which shows up after I hit 80 population, and all those thereafter.
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Mantonio

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #46 on: December 24, 2010, 01:49:39 pm »

No skills except proficient liar

Presumably he lied about how useful he could be so he could be sent here.
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A hero of renown?
Who slayed an evil ocean?
Who cast the Lich King down?
BILLY!

The Scout

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #47 on: December 24, 2010, 01:53:36 pm »

The titan that came with the other migrants. Made them into a thin paste before coming after me.
He was a dwarf.
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billybobfred

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #48 on: December 24, 2010, 03:08:30 pm »

A fish dissector. On a map with zero water. Okay, yeah, I had used the site finder to guarantee an underground river, but nobody had found the damn thing yet.
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urist mcgeorg, who lives in boatmurdered and makes over 10,000 bad decisions each day,

squeakyReaper

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #49 on: December 24, 2010, 03:27:48 pm »

I find a use for most of my dwarves, especially in the beginning.  I can't afford to butcher my cows yet, so skilled milk and cheese makers are glorious.  Later on though I have everything covered.  I slapped myself after I caught the words "can't I just get a legendary plant processor already" come out of my mouth...
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sjaakwortel

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #50 on: December 24, 2010, 04:40:30 pm »

The bugged DRUNKARD(dwarf with no skills called drunkard) offcource, he didnt do anything. Couldnt assign him any labor he just drank my booze.
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billybobfred

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #51 on: December 24, 2010, 06:15:58 pm »

The bugged DRUNKARD(dwarf with no skills called drunkard) offcource, he didnt do anything. Couldnt assign him any labor he just drank my booze.
You sure that's a bug?
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urist mcgeorg, who lives in boatmurdered and makes over 10,000 bad decisions each day,

squeakyReaper

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #52 on: December 24, 2010, 06:16:42 pm »

Drunks have to be a full time job.  Think about it; Dwarves are always drunk.  Their standards for a town drunk are really, really high.
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CaptRory

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #53 on: December 24, 2010, 07:21:02 pm »

On my current map, migrants come on the map rather far from my Fortress of Dwarfitude.
Its a combination of Mountain and Forest so its a somewhat roundabout route to get there even after I carved a bit more of a direct path.

So in my last batch of migrants an Adequate Weaver shows up. That's it. Adequate Weaver. I don't have a cloth industry set up.

And he's too stupid to pathfind to my fortress.

And while he was sitting in the middle of nowhere he got a Strange Mood.

Now he's gone insane and is wandering around my fortress babbling things. Oh yes, he managed to find his way there AFTER he went crazy. Dwarf Fortress is weird but its geometry is hardly non-Euclidian. Oh, AND he's married to the engraver that came in that wave which I hadn't noticed before. I hope she doesn't go mad when he finally kicks the bucket.
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twilightdusk

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #54 on: December 24, 2010, 10:52:09 pm »

Drunks have to be a full time job.  Think about it; Dwarves are always drunk.  Their standards for a town drunk are really, really high.

Can't you assign noble positions to drunks?
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Horizonblue

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #55 on: December 25, 2010, 10:07:02 pm »

Had a wave of three Dwarves and seven babies.
And four male donkeys.
*Sigh*
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The_Final_Stand

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #56 on: December 26, 2010, 08:22:13 am »

In my forts, anyone with no skills other than social ones, or low demand skills, particularly when we already have a legendary thresher, gets assigned the job description of "Sacrifice". These beings are placed in a squad and used for whatever I want. Mostly, fights to the death vs goblins in my colloseum, though they are used to bait Giant Cave Spiders as well.
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Urist McTaverish

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #57 on: December 26, 2010, 08:48:59 am »

Legendary Student.

Then there was the dwarf with Novice Teacher, Novice Student.  Must have been a student teacher back at the mountainhomes.
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Moosey

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #58 on: December 26, 2010, 01:58:03 pm »

I like the ones that are like, "I was a competent armorsmith, but now I'm a high master milker!"

Yeah, guess what, you're an armorsmith again.
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Tuonelan renki

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Re: Most Useless Immigrant You've ever had
« Reply #59 on: December 26, 2010, 04:40:52 pm »

Adequate comedian.

His jokes were adequately funny.
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