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[Vector]

... I didn't think I was that manly.  Full of ass-kicking, perhaps, but not enough to make one question the gender of a Russian.

I generally think of most of you being guys until proven wrong. I for some reason thought you were a guy. And what does him being Russian have to do with this?

I'm not meaning to give you a hard time, sorry, just tease you a little.

Anyway, the Russian part has to do with Russian men having the stereotype of being extraordinarily masculine--in this community, at least.  It's okay, seriously.  I placed second in the forum's "most manly" competition a while back    So it's really not too much of a big deal.  I guess I'm just a bit surprised, because I thought my girliness was common enough knowledge around here.  It's not like I'm Janet or MerchantofMenace, though.

[Heron TSG]

I was talking with some friends (2 fellow males and a female) while waiting for pep band to start, and we got onto the topic of relationships. The female among us started asking such questions as 'what [physical attributes] make somebody [sexy/attractive]' and such, which would be far more awkward if we weren't such good friends. The question was a difficult one for me to answer, because mental attributes weigh very heavily in my mind. The other males in this group answered fairly readily, but I couldn't just specify a certain feature on a whim.


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[x2yzh9]

Makes me wonder if Deon is actually a woman. Anyway, this is a really good example of the fact you can't tell genders across the internet.

Yes, Deon is totally a woman.

[The Scout]

Makes me wonder if Deon is actually a woman. Anyway, this is a really good example of the fact you can't tell genders across the internet.

Yes, Deon is totally a woman.

Doesn't look like a woman to me. But who am I to judge.

[Pillow_Killer]

It's actually pretty funny, because that face seems like the guy I actually know
...Which is even more disturbing concidering I SEEM to live in the same city as he does...
...Which is moscow, and if Im not confusing him with some other russian from the forums(geographically-wise)

[The Scout]

Quote from: Vector on October 27, 2010, 09:19:25 am

    the first thing women go to when a random man is acting odd is not, in fact "is their penis bothering them today"

Annnnd that seals the deal. You should ask him if he is Deon.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's actually pretty funny, because that face seems like the guy I actually know
...Which is even more disturbing concidering I SEEM to live in the same city as he does...
...Which is moscow, and if Im not confusing him with some other russian from the forums(geographically-wise)

If I'm remembering correctly, Deon lives in St. Petersburg.

[Argembarger]

@freeformschooler

I'm acquainted with someone who is totally asexual.

I don't think there's anything wrong with them, so by extension, I don't think there's anything wrong with you

[freeformschooler]

-

[Zrk2]

The answer is; what does it matter if you aren't particularly attracted to people. Think of all the problems physical attraction has caused over the centuries, if people could just keep there pants on there would have been much less bloodshed in history.

[Mindmaker]

Nah, it's not bad.

I may "suffer" from something similar.
Most of the time, it's a good thing however. Let's you focus on the essentials traits of people.
It may however weird people out, as I experienced a lot of times.

Still, stay the way you are, there's nothing wrong with you.

[Tylui]

Yep, consider yourself lucky. You get to stay out of the mess of misleading emotions/hormones/bullshit drama that's involved in all of that.

[DJ]

You need to boost your testosterone with various manly activities such as hunting, barn raising, cattle driving and crocheting. But no, seriously, it's not about fitting into "normal" parameters, relationships are supposed to be about what feels right for you, and if it's not raw animal attraction more power to you.

Oh, and Vector is so rugged and manly, I'd go gay for her

[malimbar04]

I believe I might be partly asexual. Yeah, I know "partly" sounds silly. Let me explain it better: I am a guy. For the longest time, I have never genuinely realized that there might be something wrong with the fact that I don't see women or men in any specific way outside of a relationship. When I've established an emotional relationship (through dating, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc etc) to the point where I feel very close to that person, only then do I even feel any physical feelings for them. I've told this to some women I was with before, they mostly thought I was just "being nice" or "overcompensating with my own words", I guess for supposedly looking at other women, or whatever it was that some of them thought I was making up for. (I have a pattern of going out with hilariously insecure women, it's not their problem, it really is mine, but that's a different story) It's almost like those hilarious "single-target sexuality" cases you see in certain shows or webcomics where someone is "X-sexual", X being whoever they love the most.

I developed some purely emotional crushes in my earlier days, but I never saw anything wrong with that because I didn't have any friends that were the "DAYUM THATS A FINE PIECA YAKNOWWHAT" type. It was only later when I would spend time around public school kids in my later years as a homeschooler that I would realize I couldn't find anything attractive with any old guy or girl that my friends would see the bottom half of and instantly be attracted to for twenty seconds. Around that time I had some relationships, and that's when the problem started coming into the forefront.

Is this bad? I don't know. I don't think so. I would just like to hear the (74.2%) intelligent B12ers' opinions and experiences with the subject. I sure hope there's somebody out there who understands. I'm not normally the kind of person to just be open about this but it really is very strange.

First, I bet I can impress you about something. I bet you find the face to be the most attractive part of a female. Am I right? Out of curiosity, do you also have trouble growing facial or chest hair?

There are a lot of different things that influence sexuality. We don't know all of them (for example, what makes a person straight, gay, or bisexual ), but some of the things we know are pretty amazing.

People who are attracted to others emotions and way of thinking tend to look at the face of others instead of the breasts, butt, or waist. It is perfectly normal to care less about a sexual relationship and more about an emotional one. Since this usually still leads to sexual desire though, I also guessed that there might be a low androgen response. A high androgen response generally means being more aggressive and more sexually stimulated. It also generally means you'll grow more chest hair, facial hair, armpit hair, sweat,  and so forth. Each area of your body has a different amount of receptors to androgens though, so your results may vary.

It might mean that you have few receptors in the sexually stimulated part of your brain, much like I have fewer receptors on my hair follicles thus I have extreme difficulty growing a decent beard. It might also mean that you simply produce fewer androgens, thus I guessed you have trouble growing a beard.

No matter what though, it's perfectly fine. It's not the same as everyone else, but then again almost no one fits into a stereotype with sexuality. There are people whos brain fits the sexuality of the opposite gender, people who are sexually ambiguos, people who can't physically experience orgasms, people who are completely asexual, and people whos body type doesn't fit their genetic gender (males with a female body are most common). On the spectrum of sexuality and being different than the standard male/female breakdown, you're nowhere near the edge of weirdness.
By the way, we're missing some important puberty related information. How old are you?

[Tack]

I have absolutely no place in Life Advice. I am horrible at it, and I tend to hate getting involved in people's problems.

Now that I've done that- The fact that you're interested in relationships with females simply means that you're a different type of person. You aren't 'Asexual'. I've known a person who I, multiple friends, and he himself have many times said to be 'asexual', and he was completely uninterested in relationships, let alone sexually interested in any particular gender. However, half a year in our company, and he decided to take the plunge, and have sex with a girl who was a very good and understanding friend of his. Turns out he had a Johnson the size of a baseball bat- Which always attracts women of certain qualities.

Digression aside, humans tend to act in a way that is shaped by both their life experiences, and the actions of their peers. This is why a person who has come out of an extremely bad relationship will be repulsed by relationships. In my experience, a lot of times, it lasts for a small while, or until curiosity revives the cat, but sometimes it can just become habit-forming, like many other things, and cause for them to never really enter a relationship again. Side-note- hence the saying to 'get back on the horse'. Once you fall off a horse, you have to ride it again in a short period of time, lest you become afraid of riding.

In a different case, someone who grew up with no distinction between male and female, will, quite naturally, not distinguish between them. Remember that sex itself is built into our evolution, but the parts of a female body which are 'Attractive', are only so because they've been built into our heads by our society. When a person is home-schooled, and removed from that society, they most likely wouldn't have the same reaction to the same 'bits'. Remember that in many parts of the world, humans still walk around naked or half-naked, and the men aren't always walking around, mouth agape, with gigantic erections.

So- it's completely fine that you don't view women or men sexually attractive. In your group of friends, it could be that you'll eventually come to view whichever gender in whichever way, however, if you're interested in relationships with women selectively, it's a good indication that you're straight- and completely normal.

I lost track about halfway through, so lemme know if I've helped or something.