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[quip]

Wonder how their anatomy works. You're pretty sure your liver would melt if you drank that on a regular basis.

Drink it on a regular basis to make sure.

[Urist McCheeseMaker]

They seem amused by it. While I disagree with the reasons, I agree with the actions: MOAR!

[Argonnek]

Not dead! Just overworked. Also, are you guys insane? A small sip came close to giving us alcohol poisoning! And you want More?! Ah well, the suggestions have spoken.


"Hey!" you holler at the incapacitated duo. They look up, and you make the drinking motion again, but that only makes them laugh harder.
Y'know what? you think to yourself. I'll show them who's laughing!
You start to giggle, then chuckle, then explode with great guffaws that echo throughout the caverns. The two dwarves stop and look at you strangely. You stop and try to rub your victory in their noses, but your voice doesn't work for some reason. They sling their crossbows over their backs and walk over to help you up. They lift you, one under each arm, and march you toward the city.

If you had been barefoot while walking over the glassy black bridge, you probably would have serious burns on your feet. You sweltered as you passed over the magma, but at least it turned out to only be warm inside instead of scorching. The dwarves laid you down on a bed in what you could only assume is the hospital, and others brought you food and-thank God-water. As you lay in the bed in the nice, warm room, you start to doze off.

[quip]

Drink MOAR! Muhahahaha! Obviously our plan was to infiltrate the fort using alcohol...

[AntiAntiMatter]

Sleep, then wake up and explore.

[Urist McCheeseMaker]

Don't explore until one of these creatures has seen you get up. Don't want to look like a spy. This.. fortress-city could be well-defended and quite harmful to one's health.

[Fniff]

Get up, fight your way to the beer stockpile, then drink everything there.

[Urist McCheeseMaker]

Get up, fight your way to the beer stockpile, then drink everything there.

Oh right. Fitting in would be a good tactic here.

[Argonnek]

You sleep dreamlessly, and wake up to find your lamp, in the off position, on the floor next to you.
You begin to wonder if they have more of that drink, but then a short-haired female (at least, you think she's a female) wearing purple robes walks in and speaks to you in accented english.
"How is it that you enter our great fortress, surface dweller?" Her pronunciation reminds you of Europe for some reason.
"You speak my language?" You whisper loudly. Your voice hurts for some reason.
Her eyebrows lowered. "Yes. Didn't think that you were the only one who appeared here, did you?"
You notice that she missed a "you" in her sentence. "No. I got here by falling down a hole."
She turns away and covers her mouth. You could have sworn that she was smiling, though. She clears her throat and looks back to you.
"You stumble down, and just happen to kill a forgotten beast? Find that hard to believe." She crosses her arms.
Who finds it hard to believe? These... dwarves?... have a strange way of speaking.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Ask about the city, and their history and all that. In particular, ask about HFS.

[Urist McCheeseMaker]

So!.. killing forgotten beasts. Enough to make a dwarven woman smile at a complete stranger, and feel a need to hide it.

Allow your speech patterns to mimic those of the dwarves, but don't force it. Ask her to show you around, whatever's behind the smile can be used to our advantage.

[Fniff]

Ask about the eldritch horror that happens to be near this cavern.

[quip]

Quick! Flee before we get married and our spores get her pregnent! Oh, wait... we probably count as adventurers...

[Argonnek]

"So," you begin. "What is this city's name?"
"Trumpettrenches." She states matter-of-factly.
"Okay..." That's weird. "How did you build this immense city here?"
"With water and magma, of course." She says this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
You are having a very hard time finding the logic here. "Uh, how long has this city been here?"
"Only about thirty-thousand pulsations of the magma."
"Huh? What's a pulsation?"
"Uhhh..." She looks like she is trying to multiply radicals in her head. "It's when the magma rises and sinks. I think your people call it the 'tide.'"
Wait. Thirty thousand tides? So... thirty thousand divided by two means that 15,000 days have passed since the city's construction. That's a really long time! What does she mean by "Only?"
"Okay. What kind of large creatures are there to hunt in the area?"
"Well, there are the elk birds, some hungry heads, a few more forgotten beasts are around here somewhere, and there might be a few bugbats flying around if you know where to look. Also, look out for jabberers. They will bite your head off."
"Tell me about the surroundings."
"The stinking crevice is a short walk from here. It is home to Dandy Candyluck, the lost adventurer."

[AntiAntiMatter]

Ask why they built a one-story city of obsidian over a sea of magma. It sounds horribly impractical.