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[Argonnek]

According to Wikipedia, a Dissociative Fugue state is when someone has lost all memory of themselves, including name, personality, and connection with others. And So...

You are Fugue!

Spoiler: da rulez (click to show/hide)

Decisions made by "you" are handled by suggestions (it leads to Fun!).
You have one life, don't squander it.
Anything that can be attributed to chance will be handled by a 1-20 roll on random.org.
You are still human, and have limitations, don't overdo it.

You can't really remember how you got here, or where, exactly, "here" is. Around you you see a large pier down the beach.
You're lying in sand... Huh.
Somewhere you can here a fire crackling. What time is it?
AARGH! Your head aches worse than it ever has. The last time it ached was... Er... Nevermind. Thinking hurts.
AGH! What's with these cars! Stop driving so loudly! Ergh. Hung over... Alcohol was involved somewhere along the line.

Okay... self... can't remember my name.... damn...
No! No distractions! Assess self!
Okay. You're wearing pants. This is a good thing. You can move all of your limbs relatively well. Good. You can't remember a damn thing about yourself or anything around you. Hmmm. Oh well.

You are reasonably sure you live somewhere within 10 miles of here. How could you have gotten here in the first place if it were further?

Agh...

Suggestions! What will "self" be called?

[Twi]

If male: David.
If, somehow, female: Ashley.

[Argonnek]

Male.

[Kadzar]

Try to find the crackling fire.

[Argonnek]

You try to sit up and come close to forcefully introducing the sand to your lunch.
You manage to stay up, though, and look around.
You think you might call yourself David. It's a nice name.
The crackle you heard is a bonfire in the distance. Is it really so loud? No, just some weird effect of the sand and the sound. Egh.

There are half-dressed youngsters by the fire. Why are they so close? It could burn them!
Wait... How old am I?

[Twi]

Thirty-three years and two hundred and twenty four days old.

[Kadzar]

Approach the youngsters.

[Argonnek]

You try to see the faces of yonder youngsters, but your vision is a little blurry.
Did you used to wear glasses? You check your pockets and sift through the nearby sand, but to no avail.
Oh well.
However, you do find a fairly reflective piece of glass.
Looking into it you see that your face has a nasty case of sunburn, and looking at your arms confirms it.
How long have you been out? How did you get here? Maybe those youngsters know.

Trying to stand led to the immediate introduction between sand and bile.
You are VERY HUNGRY. When did you last eat?
After many, many failed attempts, you stand unsteadily and look around. There are more people than there were before, but they aren't looking at you.
Looking innocent, you push some sand over the mess you made. You're sure the animals will take care of it.

Right. Approach the... fire... you don't like fire. You remember that much, at least. They might know you though, and that's the important thing.

Also, they're grilling something delicious...

[Lillipad]

Acquire grilled food stuffs.

[Kadzar]

Acquire grilled food stuffs.

By asking POLITELY.

[Argonnek]

You pace slowly toward the young'ns and the... fi-NO! IGNORE FIRE! NEED FOOD!

Yes. Need food.

You march up to the black-haired twenty-something manning the grill, and ask as politely as possible for something to eat.
He gives you a cryptic look and points you toward a nearby table that is leaden with massive amounts of various beach party foods.
Burgers, hot dogs, chips, dip, some condiments, at least five different sodas... Your stomach is roaring, and is attracting a few stares.

You blush a little and grab a plate, filling it with as many foodstuffs as will fit on the thin piece of paper.

After you had your fill (three or four burgers, maybe a quarter pound of chips, the rough equivalent of three liters of soda...) you start to address the people around you.

But who to talk to first?
The one at the grill who has been staring at you strangely since you got here, the pretty blond across the table, or the one who is reading some book or other near the box full of logs?

There are others, but they're a little too close to the fire for your comfort.

[Lillipad]

Converse with the book reader.

[Argonnek]

You stand from the table, and once again, your stomach attempts to acquaint sand and food. NO! MY FOOD! You suppress the urge to puke, for now.

You approach the book reader, but before you can say anything, he closes his book and looks directly into your eyes.
"You have offended me." He stated.
He's not one to mince words, is he?
You feebly reply "Errr..."

[Lillipad]

His offense offends us. Search pockets for something gentlemanly to challenge him to a duel with. White gloves perhaps.

[Argonnek]

You do a quick search of your pockets
You have:
1 dull shard of reflective glass
3 pieces of lint
1 car key

Ooh, a car key? When did... wait, still talking to this guy.

You look back at the reader. He's still staring into you. It's kind of creepy. Does he blink? You haven't seen him blink.