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[BR8]

I've tried Adventuring once. I have a laptop, so it naturally lagged like it was a Magma Mist teapot 28 z-levels tall. I tried fast-traveling to a fort, night fell, I got tired and hungry and thirsty, and some Bogeymen attacked.

[notjaredyork]

Just wandering next to a river when, out of nowhere, a hippo collides with me and my companions. I took the first blow of course, but my bros jumped on the bastard long enough for me to get back up. Bad idea. The furious hippo whirled around and bit my damn leg off. When I hit the ground I tried crawling away but ended up passing out from pain. I woke up next to the river with my companions nowhere to be found and unable to move faster than a crawl. Little did I know the hippo was just letting me feel like I had escaped, the sadistic bastard, and as soon as I started crawling, he came running and just mauled me... Sadness in my heart.

     After this I've started brutally hunting down and eradicating these fat bastards.

[Mr Space Cat]

After running around to various lairs and finding highly dangerous sea monsters--who were all oh so conveniently dead from airdrowning upon arrival--I became known as a great hero.

A noble lady sent me to hunt down a minor vampire. normally, this wouldn't be that bad, except for the fact the minor vampire was a swordsman, kitted out in full steel with a steel longsword, and legendary. I managed to bruise his left hand before the entire house of peasants were utterly butchered in moments.

I could've stood a better chance if I had managed to find steel boots and gauntlets. Apparently this kingdom had never heard of clothing for the extremities, and as a result I got my hands and feet stabbed to the point of crippling me. I was pretty much helpless and got hacked to pieces by the minor vampire wearing full steel armor and a longsword.

[hops]

I fell down the stairs.

To elaborate, I was in a keep, climbing the towers in order to recruit soldiers, the usual. Unfortunately, on the way down one of the ramps one of my companions and I collided, sending me tumbling down two levels. Did I shatter my spine on impact, leaving me paralyzed from the neck down? You bet I did! Did my companions seem concerned as I dragged myself out into the courtyard, moments before suffocating to death? No, no they did not.

i warned you about stairs bro

[Crinkles]

My adventurer is clearly the worst wrestler ever:


Apparently, I threw a bowman into myself, shattering my own arm in the process. And of course things went south from there quite quickly.

[Skribbblie]

I was killed (along with all of my companions) at least eight times by the same army of bandits in the same area. I swore I would kill them. They were commanded by a mace lord and an elite bowman overlord. But finally, they just stopped appearing there. Now I gotta find those bastards somewhere in the world.

[itisnotlogical]

Got a quest to hunt down a necromancer. Being a swordsman with blade-wielding companions, it was only a matter of time before we were overwhelmed by infinitely-multiplying body parts. I did manage to get into melee with the Necromancer, but I wasn't able to hit him before I gave into pain and was choked to death by a severed hand.

[AJC]

pretty much the only time i die is getting mobbed and attacked eventually getting a hits that makes me lose my grip of my weapon and shield and makes me unable to stand and get beaten on until i get brained injury/bleed out/lose ability to breath.

[Joben]

Went into the dungeon under a keep. Dodged off a ledge, stunned at the bottom. Limped into next room. Spotted by goblin spearman. His first jab injured my left hand causing me to lose my sword. Things went downhill from there.

[Skribbblie]

I got angry at a lack of quests for my wrestler/striker to do, so I made him kill fourteen people in the nearest village until a really badass leatherworker beat him down and stabbed a knife into his brain.

[wer6]

< masterwork playing evil Fire wizard

Walking along slaying the local populace then fleeing, Fastrav- OH GOD WAR ELEPHANTS ARE KILLLIINGG MEEE

A legion of War elephants came in and riped me apart, there was at-least 18 of them, it was scary ;~;

[Nerdfighter_619]

So I was attacking a tomb. On the way in, a giraffe kicks me and damages my heart. For some reason, the game let me retire, so I did. When I restarted, I had no injury except a scarred left shoulder. So I enter the tomb and kill the mummy. But right before he dies, the mummy resurrects his zombies, who injure my spine. I use the retirement bug, and when I return I'm unable to walk, only crawl. I decide to return to one of my favorite villages and retire, so after gathering some companions I set out. We get attacked by goblins and all of my companions die. I somehow manage to slay several goblins and escape, only to be ambushed again by goblins. These goblins finally slay me.

[Larix]

Crawling up onto another bandit camp one fine afternoon, when i remember my adventurer hasn't washed since the last fight, and there are ponds nearby. So take a quick dip to wash off all that gunk, just dive through (only three tiles) since the camp's on the other side of the pond anyway. Hmmm, this is a cold area and it's afternoon and i haven't checked temperature, i sure hope the game doesn't take exactly these three turns...
"You are encased in ice. You are deceased."
It totally did.

[TheFlame52]

Just wandering next to a river when, out of nowhere, a hippo collides with me and my companions. I took the first blow of course, but my bros jumped on the bastard long enough for me to get back up. Bad idea. The furious hippo whirled around and bit my damn leg off. When I hit the ground I tried crawling away but ended up passing out from pain. I woke up next to the river with my companions nowhere to be found and unable to move faster than a crawl. Little did I know the hippo was just letting me feel like I had escaped, the sadistic bastard, and as soon as I started crawling, he came running and just mauled me... Sadness in my heart.

     After this I've started brutally hunting down and eradicating these fat bastards.

Ah, another victim of the chubby menace.
I crossed a river, not seeing the hippo right in the water. It kicked me in the leg, shattering the bone. Then I passed out and it kicked me in the head.

[Garukin]

Things went downhill from here.