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[UristMcDwarf]

Any ideas, anyone?

[iyaerP]

d-b-d to strip him of his weapons, and then pit him into a pit with your military so they can get some live action combat training.

[Tenth Speed Writer]

I sense an impending re-write of Drunken Sailor.

[Acperience]

If it's a kobold thief, they refuse to be pitted.

[iyaerP]

What do ye do with a ca-ged kobold?
What do ye do with a ca-ged kobold?
What do ye do with a ca-ged kobold?
Earlie in your fortress?

Store him in a stockpile for later
Store him in a stockpile for later
Store him in a stockpile for later
Earlie in your fortress

(chorus)

Put him in a pit with the military.
Put him in a pit with the military.
Put him in a pit with the military.
Earlie in your fortress.

But kobold thieves can't be pitted,
Kobold thieves can't be pitted,
Kobold thieves can't be pitted
without escaping from your fortress.

So open that cage and let the military fight him,
Open that cage and let the military fight him,
Open that cage and let the military fight him
Earlie in your fortress.

But the military's got no armour.
The military's got no armour.
The military's got no armour.
Earlie in your fortress.

(Chorus)

Toss him in the river to feed to the carp.
Toss him in the river to feed to the carp.
Toss him in the river to feed to the carp.
Earlie in your fortress.

Urist cancels Haul: Interrupted by Carp
Urist cancels Haul: Interrupted by Carp
Urist cancels Haul: Interrupted by Carp
Earlie in your fortress.

(Chorus)

Put him in bed with the baron's daughter.
Put him in bed with the baron's daughter.
Put him in bed with the baron's daughter.
Earlie in our fortress.

Well we ain't got no bloody nobles,
We ain't got no bloody nobles,
We ain't got no bloody nobles
This earlie in our fortress.

Well we ain't got no bloody nobles,
We ain't got no bloody nobles,
We ain't got no bloody nobles
This earlie in our fortress.

Then get a bookkeeper and give him an office.
Get a bookkeeper and give him an office.
Get a bookkeeper and give him an office.
This earlie in our fortress.

(Chorus)

Lets build hes cage in the dinning hall.
Build hes cage in the dinning hall.
Build hes cage in the dinning hall.
Earlie in our fortress.

In the dining hall, he'll scare our workers.
In the dining hall, he'll scare our workers.
In the dining hall, he'll scare our workers.
Earlie in our fortress.

(Chorus)

We'll train him as the outpost mascot.
Train him as the outpost mascot.
Train him as the outpost mascot.
Earlie in our fortress.

(chorus)

Throw 'em in the pool and let 'em float there,
Throw 'em in the pool and let 'em float there,
Throw 'em in the pool and let 'em float there,
Earlie in the forrrrtress.

Toss a couple cats in so 'e won't be lonely,
Toss a couple cats in so 'e won't be lonely,
Toss a couple cats in so 'e won't be lonely,
Earlie in the forrrrtress.

(chorus)

Build a huge tower above the butchershop.
Build a huge tower above the butchershop.
Build a huge tower above the butchershop.

Place a pit zone on top of the tower.
Place a pit zone on top of the tower.
Place a pit zone on top of the tower.

Build a kobold cage right next to the top.
Build a kobold cage right next to the top.
Build a kobold cage right next to the top.

Pit the kobold up there: instant butcher.
Pit the kobold up there: instant butcher.
Pit the kobold up there: instant butcher.
Earlie in our Fortreeeeessss

(chorus)

Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Earl-aye in the fortress'!

Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Earl-aye in the fortress'!

Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Earl-aye in the fortress'!

Bridge-drop him to the magma sea.
Bridge-drop him to the magma sea.
Bridge-drop him to the magma sea.
Earlie in your fortress.

And thats what you do with a caged kobold,
Thats what you do with a caged kobold,
Thats what you do with a CA-GED KOOOOOBOOOOOOOOOOLLD....
EARLIE IN YOUR FOR-OR-TRESS!

edit: adding more verses as I think of them

edit2: and as others contribute.   

edit3: all verses added

[Don Blake]

Kobolds have can learn, right?  Build a swimming chamber and make him extremely strong, agile, and tough, and then start feeding him injured pets and dwarves until you have the World's Most Epic Kobold trapped in a pit.

[Tenth Speed Writer]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_Sailor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGyPuey-1Jw

What'll we do with a cage-ed kobold,
What'll we do with a cage-ed kobold,
What'll we do with a cage-ed kobold,
Earl-aye in the mornin'?

Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!

Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!

Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!

That's what we do with a cage-ed kobold,
That's what we do with a cage-ed kobold,
That's what we do with a cage-ed kobold,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!


Edit: Bah. Beat me to it. : P  I'm a fan of iyaerP's version.

[UristMcDwarf]

Kobolds have can learn, right?  Build a swimming chamber and make him extremely strong, agile, and tough, and then start feeding him injured pets and dwarves until you have the World's Most Epic Kobold trapped in a pit.

Oh gosh yes. ._.

[iyaerP]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_Sailor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGyPuey-1Jw

What'll we do with a cage-ed kobold,
What'll we do with a cage-ed kobold,
What'll we do with a cage-ed kobold,
Earl-aye in the mornin'?

Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Sell 'em to the elves on a big ol' wood spit,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!

Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Toss 'em in the pit with a gian' cave spider,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!

Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Dunk 'em in the magma 'till he's toasty,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!

That's what we do with a cage-ed kobold,
That's what we do with a cage-ed kobold,
That's what we do with a cage-ed kobold,
Earl-aye in the mornin'!


Edit: Bah. Beat me to it. : P  I'm a fan of iyaerP's version.

I only did it cuz I saw your post recommending it. So props to you for coming up with it.

[Savolainen5]

I would sig that if I could...

[Glanzor]

Have one of your pets kill it so it would gain notability!

[celem]

Even if its a thief you can still cage it.  Build the cage and lever link it though since assigning a thief from 1 cage to another = escape.

Infact build and lever link all the bad guy cages you get.  I usually have a pair of levers in the dining room (a pair lets 2 mechanics work at a time), after a year or two of linking arena cages each rises to a value enough to make the entire room legendary on its own

[Xenos]

Kobolds have can learn, right?  Build a swimming chamber and make him extremely strong, agile, and tough, and then start feeding him injured pets and dwarves until you have the World's Most Epic Kobold trapped in a pit.

Oh gosh yes. ._.

Drop in adamantine weapons and loinclothes and tunics for him.    You need to make that cutebold strong enough to wipe out sieges.  and then use it to wipe out sieges.

[Max White]

There's a kobold in the cage.
Dear Urist, dear Urist.
There's a kobold in the cage.
Dear Urist, in the cage.

Then dump him.
Dear Iton, Dear Iton.
Then dump him.
Dear Iton, and take all he's stuff.

[CapnUrist]

I am only disappointed that nowhere do I see that line
"Put 'em in the bed with the baron's daughter".