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[Happy Chappy]

Hello Everyone.
I finally managed to get the Dwarf Fortress video review I was planning edited and finished. It's more of an analytical style, rather than angry/humourous, but that's what I do 

Anyways, people here will notice that it's essentially a review of the Fortress mode, rather than the adventure mode. But I hope you can enjoy it. Feel free to give constructive criticism if you want to...be gentle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhsPmy0E7Vc

[Max White]

Well lets start reviewing your review.
For a start, you should practice your speech. Right now it sounds highly prerehersed, and you want a nice natural flow. Your not a BBC presenter, talking about the mating habbits of a perticular species of squirrel, your a gamer talking about something that you think is interesting enough to reveiw.

Secondly, we do not need to ever see your face. In fact better if we don't. Not saying your ugly, just saying people want to see a lot more of the game.

Thridly, the music. Once the DF theme broke out, I was all like "AWW YES!", but you know, it's not hugly fitting to use it for the entire reveiw. You could have used it a number of different ways, personaly I  approve of having it as the mjaor theme song of this reveiw though.

Forth, don't mock people who think that because there CPU can run crisis, it can do DF, with a most annoying voice. Your trying to have these people like and agree with your point of veiw.

Now onto what you did right.
The order that you presented features in was well done, allowing for the audiences to slowly get to know 'what' it is there looking at. This can be harder to do then people think, so kudos to you.

Using jargon specific to the DF community was, in my opinion a good call, as it does draw intrest. People want to know what 'too much fun' is, and expirience the cat overgroth for themselves.

Some good advice to new players to do some homework before playing. With a learning curve like DF, it's good that you try and soften it a bit.

So there you have it. A reletivly good review.

[Happy Chappy]

Thanks for the constructive criticism. I love it when I get genuinely helpful comments like that, so I can improve my videos to make them more...better

[MrGimp]

I for one liked the analytical BBC style.  Especially the part about the mad science of the community.  Keeping a straight face and eloquent speech while describing your rulership over alcoholic manic depressive midgets makes it all the more funny.

[metime00]

The over-rehearsed aspect was enjoyable because it was so stilted.

Overall the review was good, especially directing those interested to the resources to help them start playing. Because, without the wiki, most nobody would get hooked.

[MC Dirty]

Max White basically said it all, especially the one with "my computer can run Crisis" annoyed me, too.

Another thing: Get a better mic or experiment with Noise Removal. It's an option in Audacity and it should increase your audio quality quite a bit. Secondly, yeah, I would have preferred to see a bit more of the game. Also, tilesets make it a lot easier for people to get into the game, so you should have definitely used one. Not for all of the footage since there are some hardcore roguelike-fans out there who would definitely enjoy Dwarf Fortress and who like ASCII graphics.

All in all, you should have used game footage that shows off what you're talking about. Like, for "huge and impractical projects", you could have shown a screenshot of Copperblazes, Razorlength (the computer in DF) or a video of a working Orcsicle Maker. When you were talking about the tilesets, let the next twenty second of gameplay footage be with a tileset, when you're talking about the ridiculous amount of Cat, show the local cat dwarf with his 10 pets following him around and so on and so forth.

[Happy Chappy]

Thank you all so much for the constructive criticism. Much more helpful than anything I've gotten out of YouTube comments 

In hindsight I do agree about the Crysis comment, what was intended to be vaguely humourous ended up being unnecessarily spiteful. It's lucky that you pointed that out so I didn't make that mistake in later videos.

Though this was a new style for me, and the criticism will definitely help me improve in the future.
If you're interested in a more contemporary review of mine, just to get a feel for what they're normally like, here's one with zombies in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgAUuYAcOSQ

Sorry if that's a bit...un DF related

[Max White]

Jokes are better done on the users behalf, rather then expence. I would go about the dialog for that part with something along the lines of.

So you might be thinking "Ha! My computer can run Crisis on full graphics with no problems, I'm not afraid of alphabet soup!", well you would be wrong.

You can see how one way, it's making fun of the kid with the silly voice who is wrong, and the other, it's laughing along with something you might be thinking yourself. Remeber that any time you speek for the people watching your reveiws, your putting them in a position they are meant to relate strongly to, so try to keep it positive.

[Happy Chappy]

So you might be thinking "Ha! My computer can run Crisis on full graphics with no problems, I'm not afraid of alphabet soup!", well you would be wrong.

Never heard DF referred to as Alphabet soup...I'll have to use that analogy in the future

[Ø]

Have a written review. I HATE video reviews. They're harder and slower for me to access and analyze than written information.

That, and you don't have to show yourself, or suffer from not being one of the better orators I've heard. Also: your hand motions annoyed me more than you sounding like you're reading cue cards.

[Max White]

I think you will be a better public speaker with the camera off your face, I know I sure am. I'm even a better singer when I don't think I'm being recorded, so it seems to be human nature to do worse when it is on record. If you are one of these people, then a lot of your problems will be solved from putting in more game footage.

Public speeking is hard, realy hard. Do what it takes to make it easy for yourself.

[Iced]

If there is anything that could really improve this and the other reviews I saw it would be making your voice sound more natural, at the moment it feels like your reading me an exposition or something like that.

having footage that is actually relevant to what you were talking would have been great too.

it was otherwise a nice review mate.

[Kvasir]

What's wrong with you people? Spite is delicious, and I want seconds!

[Unnoskol]

What's wrong with you people? Spite is delicious, and I want seconds!

Well, spite is an acquired taste. It takes some getting used to (which varies among different people.) Anyway, back to the review:

You are an animated talker; you make plenty of hand gestures and body movements. Maybe holding a microphone can help to reduce it a bit, or at least to keep your hands away from your chest. I agree with Max White about seeing more of the game, but if you really want your image to dominate the review, you might want to do more close-ups, so we can see your facial expressions. (Don't underestimate the power of close-ups!) You can also get use microphone that can record a crisper, louder copy of your voice. When it comes to the presentation, it's nothing that a few retakes and some editing can't fix.

Contentwise, though...I understand you have your opinions, and you did try to balance your view by citing the good and bad sides of the game. Still, you could be nicer. Critics can give blistering reviews without having to call its subject stupid.

I hope that helps.

[Thief^]

If you want a good microphone, the logitech USB one is amazing.