Send Earth Mark II and me to Mars.
Using your amazing powers of teleporting, you send yourself and the Earth Mark II to Mars. You wonder why you didn't do that in the first place.
Trait get: Teleportation! (+1 to teleporting.)Learn the ways of the Force
[3] Sadly, there is nobody on the Earth Mark II who wants to teach you the ways of the Force. Suddenly being in orbit around Mars must put people off.
Strike a deal with the devil ,negotiate getting cool spaceship and not dying few turns.
You strike a deal with the devil about getting a cool spaceship and not dying for a few turns. [2] The GM, seeing this, strikes down the devil and your cool spaceship. You get caught in the explosion, despite your best slow-motion dive.
Ack, Ew, Boom! -1 health.Rat tyberix out to priests
[6] The GM, reading your mind, strikes down the devil. As a reward for your efforts, he gives you control of the Holy MacGuffin, all the way from turn 6.
Item get: Holy MacGuffin!I cast Summon Bigger Fish.
You cast Summon Bigger Fish. [1] It lands right on top of you, crushing you instantly.
I hide in my ship's built-in bunker until X-Com arrives.
Wait a second, X-COM was destroyed with the doomsday device, remember? [2] The resulting facepalm smashes you through several walls.
Whack, Gah, Whup! -1 health.Ride my month old pumpernickle bread to the darkside of MARS!
[3] You know what? That's way too silly. You take a shuttle to the dark side of Mars instead. The Shadow Aliens are pissed at your pumpernickle bread. They don't attack though, as they aren't barbarians like those Shadow People.
Lay the smack down. Proper.
You move in to brutally assault Nirur Torir.
ATTACK [5] The smack is properly laid down.
DEFENCE [6] However, the attack only makes Nirur Torir pissed. His muscles start to grow, and his skin whitens as he becomes:
The Incredible Mime.Effect get: The Incredible Mime! (+2 to attack. +2 to defence. -2 to intelligence and speaking proper sentences.)The citizens of Earth Mark II are confused, both at the fact that they now orbit Mars, and that a giant fish now occupies the food court. The Shadow People, annoyed at the disappearance of Earth Mark II, leave. Roll to Forge the World is now on turn 3 (Lazy bums).
mcclay spawns to take RedWarrior0's place.
JacenHanLovesLegos
Health: 3
Score: 4
Location: Mars.
Inv. Navy Spacesuit
Two Monkeys (On a quest for monkey paradise.)
Traits: Teleportation (+1 to teleporting.)
Nirur Torir
Health: 1
Score: 4
Location: Several Atoms that Were a Town Square
Inv. Orange Spacesuit
Really, Really, Really Big Gun, Conveniently Attached to a Starship. (+3 to attacking, +1 to movement.) (Infested with Snakemen.)
Traits: Mime (+1 to miming, can't speak.)
Effect: The Incredible Mime (+2 to attack. +2 to defence. -2 to intelligence and speaking proper sentences.)
MrNuke
Health: 3
Score: 2
Location: Dark Side of Mars.
Inv. Black Spacesuit
Month-Old Pumpernickel Bread. (+1 to attack. Inedible.)
Medals: Seemed like a good idea at the time...
Tellemurius
Health: 2
Score: 2
Location: Earth Mark II (Now orbiting Mars.)
Inv. Lime Green Spacesuit
wolfchild
Health: 3
Score: 1
Location: Earth Mark II (Now orbiting Mars.)
Inv. Maroon Spacesuit.
Holy MacGuffin.
Tyberix
Health: 2
Score: 1
Location: Earth Mark II (Now orbiting Mars.)
Inv.Teal Spacesuit.
mcclay
Health: 3
Score: 0
Location: Earth Mark II (Now orbiting Mars.)
Inv. Purple Spacesuit.