Grr. It's time to teach those invincible NPCs a lesson in humility.
I fire the main gun at the largest concentration of shadow people. Repeatedly.
Damn those NPCs! Damn them all to hell!
ATTACK: [6] The giant bullet from your gun blasts through several Shadow People ships, and rebounds off the side of a Martian vessel. Pissed, several Snakemen board your ship.
DEFENCE: [4] Despite the Shadow People's best attempts to not die, several of them die. Horribly.
Find a convienent shuttle and fly to Mars. With the monkeys of course. Ask what they charge.
You go look for a shuttle to fly to Mars, while asking the monkeys/shuttle what they charge. [6] The answer to that/those question/s is, 10 dollars a person, and to found a monkey paradise on Mars. You are both confused/enlightened. You then board the shuttle.
next up zombie horde has got to convert main characters to thralls
Yes, yes! Convert all the main characters into thralls!
[1] You send your ghoulish army to assault a nearby mall, but are stopped by a couple of trucks parked outside the doors. Confused, and wondering what to do, you wander aimlessly around, until several bikers arrive and shoot you in your head. As you die, you wonder if you attacked the wrong main characters.
Attain the omni-polearm. Every polearm, combined into one weapon.
You decide that the best course of action is to find the legendary omni-polearm, which is every polearm ever invented, combined into one weapon. You launch into a musical dance number about how awesome it would be to have the omni-polearm. [2] After whacking yourself in the head with a mop, you think that a little training would be useful before you find it.
Ack, Lupon, Geck! -1 Health.Learn the ways of The Schwartz
You set off to learn the ways of the Schwartz. [2] However, RedWarrior0 suddenly appears, and whacks you in the head with a broom.
Zpp, Lack, Ow! -1 Health.Damn.
In a fit of rage and ingenuity, summon a Robot Unicorn Heavy Metal Edition, hopefully this one won't be so easy to explode
[1] Robot Unicorn Heavy Metal Edition explodes more easily, but which more awesomeness. (Read: More deadly.)
Summon some Pumpernickle bread
[6]
No, you are the Pumpernickle bread. Scratch that. Way too silly. You simply buy a month-old piece of Pumpernickel bread instead. It's much less silly. (Though less tasty.)
Item get: Month-Old Pumpernickel Bread. (+1 to attack. Inedible.)With vadia and Cheese doing the six-feet under waltz, wolfchild and Tyberix spawn. With Nirur Torir being occuiped by Snakemen, the Shadow People Fleet continues towards Earth Mark II. Roll to Forge the World is on turn 1.
JacenHanLovesLegos
Health: 3
Score: 3
Location: Shuttle for Mars.
Inv. Navy Spacesuit
Two Monkeys (On a quest for monkey paradise.)
Nirur Torir
Health: 2
Score: 3
Location: Several Atoms that Were a Town Square
Inv. Orange Spacesuit
Really, Really, Really Big Gun, Conveniently Attached to a Starship. (+3 to attacking, +1 to movement.) (Infested with Snakemen.)
Traits: Mime (+1 to miming, can't speak.)
RedWarrior0
Health: 2
Score: 3
Location: Several Atoms that Were a Town Square
Inv. Red Spacesuit
Hilarious piece of LE WORLD!
MrNuke
Health: 3
Score: 1
Location: Earth Mark II
Inv. Black Spacesuit
Month-Old Pumpernickel Bread. (+1 to attack. Inedible.)
Medals: Seemed like a good idea at the time...
Tellemurius
Health: 2
Score: 1
Location: Earth Mark II
Inv. Lime Green Spacesuit
wolfchild
Health: 3
Score: 0
Location: Earth Mark II
Inv. Maroon Spacesuit.
Tyberix
Health: 3
Score: 0
Location: Earth Mark II
Inv.Teal Spacesuit.