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[Kilowatt]

ITT: Post your closest calls with complete and absolute FUN!*

I'll start:

So I'm working on a new cistern for my fortress, when I suddenly breach a cave. "Alright, Let's seal it up and reroute the cistern."

Needless to say, an FB appears, with the added hazard of dangerous blood. Not wanting to risk it, I forbid everything on the floors of the cave I have discovered and order them to build a wall. Well, I forgot about the rock in the cistern, so instead of building a wall, they proceed to collect all the stone. I rectify that, then the FB grabs one of my dwarves and tears it in half. Then the grab for Urist's left sock initiates, and I have no control over the dwarves whatsoever. I give up and watch in horror as it ignores 40 other dwarves as it tromps up to the living quarters, slips through a door, and chomps a cow that was inexplicably in someone's room. Needless to say, I walled it in.

Anyone have any similar stories?

[Namfuak]

I was in a terrifying area, and I had some farms and fishing set up in the caverns.  I went down to the caverns to check on my farmers randomly while waiting for some digging to finish, and notice a huge miasma cloud inching toward the shore.  Pause and check, it's a zombie cave crocodile.  I quickly call in my military and kill it while my farmers flee, but if I hadn't noticed it could easily have gotten rid of half my farmers and fishermen (who at the time were effectively a third of my fortress' population).  After that I walled off all of the shore except for one part where to get in a creature would have to randomly path around a weird collection of pillars and put my fishermen there.

[abadidea]

Back in 40d when I was pretty new to dwarfing...

I was playing a beautiful river-canyon map that straddled an aquifer biome. I was building my fortress downward into the canyon-wall when I accidentally tapped into the aquifer somehow. I had one of my brave miners tunnel outwards into the canyon to relieve pressure even as the water was welling up behind him. Another began digging an escape route for the many civilians trapped on the residence floor down below. Masons began walling in the stairwell shaft. All in all, only one person was lost to drowning. A new stairwell shaft was built and the old one became a waterfall. The residence floor filled up with water, but most of the rooms remained dry thanks to the sturdy doors. They were tunneled into from below so that everyone still had access to their homes. It was an underwater apartment complex!

The relief tunnel was on the food storage floor. The barrels bobbed back and forth gently for the rest of the fort's existence as people waded to get them.

[Vertigon]

ITT: Post your closest calls with complete and absolute FUN!*

I'll start:

So I'm working on a new cistern for my fortress, when I suddenly breach a cave. "Alright, Let's seal it up and reroute the cistern."

Needless to say, an FB appears, with the added hazard of dangerous blood. Not wanting to risk it, I forbid everything on the floors of the cave I have discovered and order them to build a wall. Well, I forgot about the rock in the cistern, so instead of building a wall, they proceed to collect all the stone. I rectify that, then the FB grabs one of my dwarves and tears it in half. Then the grab for Urist's left sock initiates, and I have no control over the dwarves whatsoever. I give up and watch in horror as it ignores 40 other dwarves as it tromps up to the living quarters, slips through a door, and chomps a cow that was inexplicably in someone's room. Needless to say, I walled it in.

Anyone have any similar stories?

"What a long day of work doing nothing... wait what? My room!"

"Sorry, Urist, but there's a forgotten beast in there. I'm afraid it got your cow too."

"...I don't have a cow."

"What."

[Aspgren]

A minotaur appeared and grabbed my militia commander by the iron mail shirt, she then gored him in the face (presumably while holding him in the air in front of her) and went on a wild whipping spree, she whipped the entire military to pieces except one recruit who hadn't picked up his crossbow yet.

 So then she stormed at the civilians who were completely helpless .. and this one recruit manages to headshot her in the last second.

[twilightdusk]

A lack of understanding in water physics almost got one of my forts flooded once. I say almost because I managed to construct blocking walls just before the water reached my main rooms. Kinda minor compared to those above me but it was still a close call.

[Kilowatt]

ITT: Post your closest calls with complete and absolute FUN!*

I'll start:

So I'm working on a new cistern for my fortress, when I suddenly breach a cave. "Alright, Let's seal it up and reroute the cistern."

Needless to say, an FB appears, with the added hazard of dangerous blood. Not wanting to risk it, I forbid everything on the floors of the cave I have discovered and order them to build a wall. Well, I forgot about the rock in the cistern, so instead of building a wall, they proceed to collect all the stone. I rectify that, then the FB grabs one of my dwarves and tears it in half. Then the grab for Urist's left sock initiates, and I have no control over the dwarves whatsoever. I give up and watch in horror as it ignores 40 other dwarves as it tromps up to the living quarters, slips through a door, and chomps a cow that was inexplicably in someone's room. Needless to say, I walled it in.

Anyone have any similar stories?

"What a long day of work doing nothing... wait what? My room!"

"Sorry, Urist, but there's a forgotten beast in there. I'm afraid it got your cow too."

"...I don't have a cow."

"What."

The best part is now that I get an idea about what to do with it, it automagically teleported out of four walls and landed in my statue garden, where it quickly crashed a party and tore everyone to pieces.

[Jacob/Lee]

Moral of the story? Party and you DIE!