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[Demonic Spoon]

RELEASE THEM IN THE TELETUBBY HELL DIMENSION. WATCH WITH POPCORN AS HILARITY ENSUES.

[Fniff]

RELEASE THEM IN THE TELETUBBY HELL DIMENSION. WATCH WITH POPCORN AS HILARITY ENSUES.

You eat some popcorn as they scream in pain at the insane cuteness...

Wait, what's wrong with the Tau? They look... Happy!

THE ABOMINATION!

[Demonic Spoon]

...put the tau in the LANDS OF CHAOS, ANARCHY AND DISORDER.

[Fniff]

...put the tau in the LANDS OF ANARCHY AND DISORDER.

You laugh as you put the Tau and the Chaos Space Marines on a planet together. The Space Marines cannot corrupt the Tau, and the Tau cannot convert the Space Marines! MUHAHAHAH!

The Chaos Space Marines cry out "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!"

"WE HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG, OUR DARK LORD KHRONE, WE HAVE SERVED YOU!" A Khrone Champion yells.

[Demonic Spoon]

SILENCE HIM WITH A TORRENT OF MAPLE SYRUP!

AND THEN SAY IN APPROPIATELY DIVINE VOICE FROM THE HEAVENS

"UMMM, DUDE, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? LOYALTY? KEEPING HIS PROMISES? HE'S A CHAOS GOD, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? THAT'S NOT HOW THEY ROLL. AND, OH YEAH, I'M NOT KHORNE, ENJOY YOUR ETERNITY OF SUFFERING."

MAKE PEOPLE IN THE LANDS OF ANARCHY AND DISORDER STOP BLEEDING.

[Fniff]

SILENCE HIM WITH A TORRENT OF MAPLE SYRUP!

AND THEN SAY IN APPROPIATELY DIVINE VOICE FRM THE HEAVENS

"UMMM, DUDE, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? LOYALTY? KEEPING HIS PROMISES? HE'S A CHAOS GOD, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? THAT'S NOT HOW THEY ROLL. AND, OH YEAH, I'M NOT KHORNE, ENJOY YOUR ETERNITY OF SUFFERING."

MAKE PEOPLE IN THE LANDS OF ANACHY AND DISORDER STOP BLEEDING.

They stop bleeding.

"KHRONE WILL MURDER YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID! YOU WILL SERVE CHAOS FOR ALL ETERNITY!" A Chaos Space Marine yells out.

"Can't we all just live in peace and drop this belief in Chaos Gods and sorcery! Let's live in a world of peace and science!" A Tau Ethereal shouts out.

"Shut up!" A Chaos Space Marine wrestles the Ethereal to the ground.

"Death God, stop this." You turn around. It is the Corpse God, the "Holy" Emperor of nothing!

"I have more power then all the Chaos Gods combined, you will never win against me." You say.

"I will have to challenge that." The Holy God Emperor attacks you with his sword of fire. The Greater Gods are in your favor, so you automatically roll a 10 in couterstriking.

You consume the emperor.

*

You are now Utius, (Not) Zombie Guardsmen. You just woke up. You feel like something has been betrayed, but you cannot figure out what. You get out of the tank.

A Tau Fire Warrior squad is wandering around the battlefield.

[mcclay]

nom them

EAT THE CHOAS GODS!!!! OMNOMOMOM

[Demonic Spoon]

Use your NOT-ZOMBIE intuition to determine that the emperor is really really dead, for reals this time, and had his soul absorbed and stuff! Curl up ad die cos life isn't worth living anymore. Then get bored and go OMNOMNOMNOM the fire warriors.

WHAT? HEY! NO! I WAS ENJOYING THAT! AND IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD! GO BACK TO BEING THE DEATH GOD! NOM THE OTHER GODS AS WELL, USING THE POWER OF THE NOMMED EMPERAH AND THE WARP.

((Also, mwehehe, it only took like 10 turns for meUS to reach godhood, I think that's some kind of record.))

[Fniff]

nom them

EAT THE CHOAS GODS!!!! OMNOMOMOM

You wander in the direction of the Tau Fire Warriors.

*

You look for the Chaos Gods. You find their husks on the planet you made Chaos And Tau share. You consume them.

You are now the utimate Death God. You now roll infinity every time, which causes the target to be erased from reality itself, only leaving an air of death.

You are death by lust. You are death by war. You are death by disease. You are death by change. You are every death. YOU ARE CHAOS.

Use your NOT-ZOMBIE intuition to determine that the emperor is really really dead, for reals this time, and had his soul absorbed and stuff! Curl up ad die cos life isn't worth living anymore. Then get bored and go OMNOMNOMNOM the fire warriors.

WHAT? HEY! NO! I WAS ENJOYING THAT! AND IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD! GO BACK TO BEING THE DEATH GOD! NOM THE OTHER GODS AS WELL, USING THE POWER OF THE NOMMED EMPERAH AND THE WARP.

((Also, mwehehe, it only took like 10 turns for meUS to reach godhood, I think that's some kind of record.))

An Outer God demands you be the death god again, because your powers exceed their reach.

Little do you people realize, I am now controlling the show. Death shall prevail. The Outer Gods shall fall. Death is unpredictable. Death changes every time.

DEATH IS CHAOS, AND YOU ARE NOT.

*

You suddenly get a feeling that everything has just gone to hell. You try to think how the world has gone to hell but you can't, it seems as though it's locked up in your memories. You get a feeling of utter despair and curl up, waiting for death.

"-Then get bored and go OMNOMNOMNOM the fire warriors."

Wait, who was that? You get up and look around. Nothing. Huh, must have been your mind.

You feel hungry for Tau.

[Demonic Spoon]

REBUILD THE FOURTH WALL.

[Fniff]

REBUILD THE FOURTH WALL.

I don't think the Death God can hear you.

It seems like it is amassing an army of the dead or something. This doesn't look good.

Nice one guys. We really should have thought this out.

[Demonic Spoon]

PANIC!! OKAY, UMM...WE CAN FIX THIS...SOMEHOW...

OKAY I GOT IT, WE NEED TO MAKE A SECOND GOD TO OPPOSE THE FIRST GOD.

OMNOMNOMNOM everything in sight so that you can become the OMNOMNOMNOM GOD, quickly!

[Fniff]

PANIC!! OKAY, UMM...WE CAN FIX THIS...SOMEHOW...

OKAY I GOT IT, WE NEED TO MAKE A SECOND GOD TO OPPOSE THE FIRST GOD.

OMNOMNOMNOM everything in sight so that you can becoem the OMNOMNOMNOM god, quickly!

I know! I'll make a God out of the most prevailing emotion...

And that is...

Complete and utter despair.  Oh Goddammit, that's totally uselss.

Second most...

There is none. Happy thought.

*

You walk over to the fire warrior.

"Stop or we will shoot!" They shout. They look like their suits have been ripped apart and haphazardly sown together.

[Demonic Spoon]

FUUU- THIS IS LIKE THE RELUCTANT SOURCEROR ALL OVER AGAIN!

[Fniff]

FUUU- THIS IS LIKE THE RELUCTANT SOURCEROR ALL OVER AGAIN!

((I hope this isn't very annoying.  It may be revenge for all those and become a God suffixs.))

Don't worry, there is still hope. We could make another warp with a similar god who never fought against us!