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[breadbocks]

361. You watched an episode of 'baywatch' and was disappointed that it wasn't a minute to minute update of Toadys life.

362. You gain vast fortune and donate it all to Toady for the sole purpose of bribing him to buy the Baywatch copyright and create such a show.

363. You gained such a fortune by selling mugs.

364. Said mugs menaced with spikes made from the bones of a dead cat.

365. Even after butchering countless cats to improve the mugs, you still have a cat problem.

366. Said butchering was accomplished via a complicated set of machinery. This machinery didn't butcher the cats, but simply launched them down a 100 z-level vertical shaft directly into your butcher shop, causing them to explode on impact.

367. Said machinery is often interrupted by raccoons, giving cats time to breed, hence the nonstop cat problem.

368. The raccoons are then also used, thus creating a variety in your products.

[abadidea]

369. You carry a full-color mineral guide everywhere you go to scout potential sites.

No, really, I specifically bought a 500-page mineral guide because of Dwarf Fortress. It. has. microcline!!!

[Ratbert_CP]

370. You vacuum your carpet in a (horrifically inefficient) pattern based on the way dwarf miners choose their next work face.
371. You realize that the Mythbusters understand the concept of a lever (or button) connected to a support (usually with detcord).
372. You pray Toady will implement connecting levers to elves, using detcord and C-4.
373. You keep checking the History Channel, hoping to find a new show: Dwarf Fortress Miners - The Worlds Deadliest Holes

[Max White]

374. When something is 'fun for the entire family!' you fear for the safty of your relatives.

[Rowanas]

374. When something is 'fun for the entire family!' you fear for the safty of your relatives.

Juicy germans?

[Unnoskol]

Juicy germans? What's that?

[MC Dirty]

Juicy germans? What's that?

No idea, but "Saft" is the German word for "juice", so "safty" could best be translated as "juicy".

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Terrible pun is terrible.

[NotPete]

375: You have tried to 'mod' creatures in real life.

376: You have memorized all the dwarfish words.

377: You have legally changed your first name to Urist.

[vadia]

378 you don't think you need soap to wash
379 because the last time you carried it in your mouth
380 and still couldn't figure out what to do with it.
381 Can't figure out which is an elephant or eagle without looking at the sign in a zoo.
382 turn different colors when changing professions
383 pray to God to ame something adaptable
384 Use "Toady" in prayers (such as blessed art thou oh Toady)
385 I don't need a gun for protection I'll just knapp a stone
386 spent a whole day knapping stones
387 and wonder why you are standing in a hole
388 and you know how to knapp a stone afterwards despite the fact that you hadn't a clue how before.
389 attacked a tank with a fluffy wambler
390 come up with 12 reasons to know you've been playing too much in one shot.
391 and are shocked when you haven't been ninja'd

[vadia]

392 you build a catapult on top of your house
393 it's ok your houses are down a z level
394 cancels make pasta has only 999 threads of pasta
395 "STOP smelting the doorknobs"
396 tries to make things out of goldfish bone
397 tries to make attack goldfish
398 makes moat
399 puts attack goldfish (yes you succeeded) in your moat
400 put randomized entries in your history test
401 wear the same clothes despite the weather changes.

[MC Dirty]

394 cancels make pasta has only 999 threads of pasta
394 "STOP smelting the doorknobs"

Intentional or not?

[iceball3]

401: You can tear apart buildings with your bear hands.
402: you you get angry, you throw drawbridges all over the place
403: you somehow make cheese with your only tool being a boulder.

[MC Dirty]

[vadia]

394 cancels make pasta has only 999 threads of pasta
394 "STOP smelting the doorknobs"

Intentional or not?

not
405 (because I can't count) You kill a platypus because it is a Forgotten beast
(1 LCS) you defend yourself against the prosecution of dwarfy acts
406 The prosecution makes especially certain to get rid of anybody in the jury who has even HEARD of DF because you can convince them easily
407 It doesn't matter, the Jury thinks you are a hero and say May Fluffyflippers the forgottenbeast rot in hell forever.
408 the Judge says: "In the name of the U.S. there is a mighty beast (and directs you to another platypus.
408 The prosecuting lawyer thanks you for intorducing him to DF
409 but you are his enemy
410 Any time he or any other prosecutor who is with him comes up against you they stutter, knowing they are doomed.

411 you are surprised at the ability to light a candle and inability to burn whole living trees.