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Author Topic: The Next Chapter, you control it  (Read 12059 times)

Scood

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #180 on: December 27, 2010, 11:34:25 am »

ya i suppose it could be a new expierimental weapon that scientists are working on. theres the problem of where they got the magic from to power the prosthetic.
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #181 on: December 27, 2010, 05:51:34 pm »

parts of this world will be advanced, some of it won't, but feel free to argue with me. yes, the prostetics could be magic, after all, this place is deeply immersed in magic.

Oh yeah, and there will be elves in this world, but they'll be people who have discovered and learned how to use magic, not pansies that scowl whenever a blade of grass is stepped on.
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Scood

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #182 on: December 27, 2010, 09:24:54 pm »

so elves are basically amateur fay magicians?
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #183 on: December 28, 2010, 12:55:07 am »

yeah, but they don't have to be amateur.

anyway, I've been thinking that we drop Jamie (the prostetic girl) and let her star in the next one of these that I do. she doesn't fit well into the story anyway.

Yes, with the fun I'm having now, I probably will make another Next Chapter topic.
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quip

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #184 on: December 28, 2010, 11:02:25 am »

Or it could be a prototype. Only one in the world used in a secret government project to make super soldiers type thing anyone?
/Don't runners with prosthetic(?!) legs run faster in the Olympics? Or am I just immagining(?!).
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #185 on: January 01, 2011, 02:28:23 am »

maybe we should begin by listing possible motives for robbing the train, could be a number of reasons.
heres a scenario that came to my head.

the robbers want a train that is carrying money/diomonds,  unfortunately they would get caught if they stayed on the same track. so they hijack a less secure passenger train. The passenger trains route crosses paths with the targeted train, maybe even uses the same track and has to pass it. they use the passenger train for its engine detach the passengers, hook up the loot, and travel on an alternate track that would hopefully buy them enough time to unload a small fortune off the train and live greedily ever after.

nobody listed any more motives or scenerios. now that I'm getting a bit farther into the update, I'm finding it hard to work this out in my head. I need something that Aeta and Fealyn will be able to get involved in easily. how would Aeta and Faelyn find out about the criminals on the train if they only need to quietly take the engine?
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quip

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #186 on: January 01, 2011, 03:33:27 am »

Maybe they see the robbers doing something suspicious? Or perhaps for some reason they have to hide, are found by the robbers and used as hostages? Maybe they want to see the diamonds so take a detour and are still on the train when the robbers come? Maybe they like sitting on the roofs of trains and feeling the wind in their hair?
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #187 on: January 01, 2011, 10:30:50 am »

First of all, happy new year! one year closer to the apocalypse! (just kidding) for my new years resolution, I've decided I'll work harder on this story to get it done by next year.


okay, I think i might have an idea with the train problem. what if the train carrying the goods was on another track that ran right next to the one that they're on? there would most likely be an opportunity for the train engine to switch rails and let the thieves get away.

And I've come up with a brilliant idea. what do you guys think about character interveiws? every couple of chapters, I'll open up interviews so you guys can ask characters questions or just plain tell them things. It won't effect the story and you guys will get to interact with the characters themselves.
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quip

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #188 on: January 01, 2011, 10:41:04 am »

Sounds good to me!
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Furtuka

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #189 on: January 01, 2011, 12:05:47 pm »

sounds fun!
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ragnarok97071

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #190 on: January 01, 2011, 12:17:23 pm »

The train could be being captured because the two are there, possibly having something to do with the mission they are on?
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #191 on: January 03, 2011, 12:48:18 am »

okay guys, so today is the last day of my break. unfortunately, I haven't finished the update. or my homework. proccrastination just kept coming up. I even played DF at the same time (It actually worked out pretty well.)

I do however know that it will be finished by next week.

Ironically, procrastination is why I'm failing english.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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FuzzyZergling

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #192 on: January 03, 2011, 12:50:48 am »

Why are there staircases exposing the castle to the east?
You are vulnerable to crossbow fire!
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #193 on: January 03, 2011, 12:53:41 am »

Why are there staircases exposing the castle to the east?
You are vulnerable to crossbow fire!

???  :-\ my castle has only one entrance and it's shown
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Terrahex

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Re: The Next Chapter, you control it
« Reply #194 on: January 04, 2011, 06:03:30 pm »

   Friend pondered to itself for a moment. Mr. Kaht, the puppet for its evil plans, was getting increasingly distracted in his progress towards discovering a way to mass produce Ichor, the golden substance that was secreted by the (Insert cool name here) bugs. He was getting more and more involved in his daughter’s life ever since his wife had died, and consequentially less and less involved in his research. An idea popped into Friend’s head, and it smiled mischievously, though its plans were far from mere mischief.



   Mr. Kaht smiled to himself, his daughter snoring lightly in the car seat beside him. Snow fell lazily from the dark sky, illuminated briefly by the headlights until they hit the wet pavement. They were returning home from a larger city where he had reported his success to his benefactors. His daughter had come for the shopping. It was late, the radio flashing the analogue time: 12:37. The car hummed as it sped down the road, going around a corner in the looping countryside.

   Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, an enormous truck came around the corner, swerving into his lane on the wet roads. Instinctively, Mr. Kaht swung his car to the left, but the wet roads caused his car to fishtail. The truck slammed into the right side of the car with a sickening crunch of metal. It happened fast. One minute the car was on the road, the next it was in the ditch.

   Mr. Kaht groaned, his head ringing and dizzy. He moved his arms and his legs to check if they were hurt. Besides hitting his head on the window, putting a large spider web of cracks in it, he was fine. The right side of his car had taken the brunt of the impact.

   “Are you okay-” Mr. Kaht stopped as he looked at his daughter, his heart pumped loudly in his ears. The world seemed to freeze. The car had crunched her body brutally.



   In the hospital, Mr. Kaht sat heavily in a chair, his head in his hands. Tears had stopped a long time ago. The man who was driving the truck hadn’t known what happened. He just lost control of his vehicle, but Mr. Kaht didn’t blame him. He blamed himself. He had swerved left and let his daughter take the impact. He should’ve swerved the other way, let himself be the cushion. He had been there for twenty hours straight as the doctors worked on her. She had broken ribs, bruised organs, her right arm smashed, and both of her legs were shattered.

   The sound of a door shutting roused him. He looked up to see a doctor walking toward him.

   Mr. Kaht rose. “How is she?”

   The doctor looked down. “She’ll be all right. She’s sleeping right now.” he paused, Mr. Kaht feeling lifted. “But we… her legs were too damaged. She was losing too much blood, and her arm was useless and suffered severe damages and infections.”

   “What are you saying?” Mr. Kaht asked.

   “Your daughter will live the rest of her life in a wheel chair with only one arm.”

   Mr. Kaht’s world suddenly came crashing down on him. His legs suddenly didn’t feel like they were strong enough to support him and he collapsed heavily into the chair, his mind whirling.

   “I’ll give you some time to think.” The doctor said walking off.

   Mr. Kaht found that he could cry again. “What am I going to do?” he whispered to no one.

   “The answer is simple.” A voice announced. It was Friend’s voice. Friend had been there for him since he was a kid. The disembodied voice had been consoling him ever since they met, helping him make decisions throughout his life. “Make her new limbs.”

   “How?” Mr. Kaht asked.

   “Using Ichor.”

   Ichor. That mysterious golden fluid with mystical properties that could extend a human’s life? Even though it could stop disease, fight plaque, and cure AIDS, it had no regenerative qualities. “I can’t. It can’t reconstruct limbs.

   “It might not, but it can form a link between a prosthetic limb and human flesh.”

   Mr. Kaht shot up. “It does!?” He exclaimed, making the receptionist look at him funny.

   “Yes, but you’d need a large quantity of the stuff.” Friend said. “It would take years and years for the number of bugs you have now to create that much naturally. And you’d have to design a way for the limbs to work with it.” Friend snickered silently to himself. Even the prosthetic limb would help him out in controlling his own body.

   “then I’ll get to work right away.” Mr. Kaht grabbed his coat hastily. “What would I do without you Friend?”

   Friend didn’t reply. It was in the room where Mr. Kaht’s daughter laid in bed. Her form was covered by a blanket, making a bump in the fabric that stopped after her waist. Bandages wrapped around the place where her right arm used to be.

   “Well Jamie, I guess you are useful after all.” Friend said to itself. it couldn’t contain itself now. The demented being began laughing loudly even though no one could hear it, truly amused with how its plan had worked out so well.




Okay I've typed this up as a reason to jamie being there what do you guys think?
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