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Author Topic: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...  (Read 1855 times)

MiniMacker

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2010, 09:29:14 pm »

All I'm imagining right now are thirty babies, all clad in Steel plate, leaping towards the Goblins, punching their crotches.
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Aspgren

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2010, 09:29:22 pm »

The mothers in my military don't get in. Call me sexist if you will, but I only enlist men who use shields made of metal, not baby.

How do you deal with post-enlistment pregnancies?
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Max White

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2010, 09:31:45 pm »

How do you deal with post-enlistment pregnancies?

Males don't get pregnant. I carefully go through my dwarfs and only ever enlist males. Leaving the gals back at home to smith artifacts of pure power and bake +cat liver biscuits +.

Aspgren

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2010, 09:39:10 pm »

How do you deal with post-enlistment pregnancies?

Males don't get pregnant. I carefully go through my dwarfs and only ever enlist males. Leaving the gals back at home to smith artifacts of pure power and bake +cat liver biscuits +.

Ohkay .. well. I don't go that far.
 Truth be told I try to keep the mothers out of harms way. I got elite warriors, regular warriors and reserves. When a soldier starts popping out babies she goes into the reserves. If she's carrying a baby I don't want her fighting, if she's followed by a runt I couldn't care less.
 I don't like parents being put in harms way regardless of sex, so they usually stay behind fortifications with crossbows.
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The crossbow squad, 'The Bolts of Fleeing' wouldn't even show up.
I have an art blog now.

Max White

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2010, 09:44:00 pm »

Little Urist McChild couldn't possibly suffer any sort of emotional trauma from having he's dad killed and eaten by an elf, right?

*25 years later*

Urist McChild is now an alcoholic, manic depressive, who is prone to mood swings and obsessed with socks. As such he has grown up to be a model citizen of dwarven society, and I strongly suggest we send ALL father figures into war.

Aspgren

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2010, 09:55:55 pm »

I wouldn't give a single dorfbuck for the sanity of the kid.

All I know is that no parent = no siblings. and children are fun :D they are so fragile!
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Jacob/Lee

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2010, 09:58:17 pm »

The mothers in my military don't get in. Call me sexist if you will, but I only enlist men who use shields made of metal, not baby.
I'm not going to call you sexist, I'm going to call you a genius. I mean really, who ever thought of using non-organic shields? You need a medal!

Kobold Troubadour

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2010, 10:03:13 pm »

If you check Legends mode, you'll actually see a lot of babies surviving encounters from Semi/Megabeasts and night fiends. And yet all-throughout the years they keep on trying when visiting towns...and they sometimes eventually succeed.

Must be the monsters survival instincts....like they somehow know that someday upon their next encounter those babies will show them a thing or two about rampage.
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SalmonGod

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2010, 10:11:48 pm »

"It's been prophecied that our kind will fall as the dwarves rise... we must strike them while they're young and weak!"

Proceeds to train them from birth into the most badass hardened warriors imaginable through failed assassinations.
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ISGC

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2010, 10:17:03 pm »

I wonder if its possible to weaponize babies? (I.E. Utilize babies in such a way that they become lethal to invaders in a consistant manner)
ONLY IN DWARF FORTRESS
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612DwarfAvenue

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #26 on: December 04, 2010, 10:21:14 pm »

Put babies in the Military
And you get
*puts on glasses*
Infantry



YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH
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zilpin

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2010, 11:49:47 pm »


Stories like this make me think DF has a secret hidden Luck stat for all creatures.


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slothen

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #28 on: December 05, 2010, 12:48:39 am »

I wonder if its possible to weaponize babies? (I.E. Utilize babies in such a way that they become lethal to invaders in a consistant manner)

its not.  babies only fight if they're attacked first.
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twilightdusk

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Re: Don't relieve your mothers of duty...
« Reply #29 on: December 05, 2010, 01:01:38 am »

Put babies in the Military
And you get
*puts on glasses*
Infantry



YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH

This made me laugh so hard.
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An elf would see that and despair.
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