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Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.

Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.

I'm still waiting for my dragons!

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Who are we waiting on?

[TolyK]

*shrugs*

[FuzzyZergling]

KaguroDraven:
You bind the minor wound, then climb the barricade and leave the room.
There are exits to you left (West), right (East), and directly ahead (North). You remember that the western path leads back to your back entrance, the dwarven dining room, and what was a coal stockroom. The eastern path smells like burning troll, and is giving you a headache.
Rikishak is no longer bleeding, [1] still in pain.

HighEndNoob:
You look around, attempting to locate the Elevator.
[2] Hmmm, you can't seem to- Oh, wait, it's right there in front of you, like, ten meters away.
The southern platform is decending, and should be boardable in a few moments.
You wait, and step on with Gump.
[5] Hamal's pain has decreased.

BlastoiseWarlorf:
You dive for the hammer as the guard is still regaining his bearings, [3+1] [vs] [1-2] and wrap your hand around the handle!
[5+1] With a swing, your powerful dwarven muscles [4+1+1+1] crush his skull! The prison is now empty, save yourself.
You quickly raid the guard's desk, [1] but there aren't any other keys. You'll have to break the door down and hope the noise doesn't attract attention.

quip:
You see Hamal waiting for the lift, and wait with him. When it reaches your level, you step on.
You blood loss and pain seem to be lessening.
Gump is no longer feeling the effects of blood loss. Pain has lessened.

Megaman:
Damnit, who would have thought that goblins would dodge a charging stone behemoth? No matter, you'll get your revenge soon enough.
[5-2] You grab one of the unarmored fleshies, and [5+2-1] crush it like a grape! Its bones buckle under your grip, and the massive internal damage kills it instantly!
Gobbo 3 has died.

IronyOwl:
You take another slash with your scourge, [5] gouging [3+2-1] several deep cuts in the goblin's chest!
It counters with a spear jab, [4-2] but you gracefully weave around the point!
Gobbo 1 is in major pain.

JacenHanLovesLegos:
You snicker at the memory of the diving goblins, then draw your scourge and charge at your mark!
[4+2] [6+2+1] The one eyed creature raises his spear in an attempt to parry, but the scourge bends and strikes his face! His skin parts, revealing his skull, and his throat is torn apart!
[3-3] He drops to the ground, hard.
Gobbo 2 is blind, heavy bleeding, unconscious, will bleed out in two turns.

Zrk2:
You breath in, out. [6+1] [2+1+1+1] One of the evil creatures clutches its guts, its vile intestines spilled.
In, out. [2+1] [1+1+1-1] Another loses a finger, and you notice the droplets of blood spray from the severed digit.
In, out. [6+1] [1+1+1+1] Your axe slides through space, parting the air as well as pale grey skin.
The inevitable counterattacks come, slowly. [3] [3-1-1] A pinprick in your side, [5] [5-1-1] a slash across your face.
You are a dwarf. These are goblins. They are falling onto your axe, only scratching your steel armor. This is the way the world should be.
[5] The hightened senses persist.
Gobbo 4 has spilled his guts. Extremely nauseated.
Gobbo 5 has lost a finger (right hand), in pain.
Gobbo 6 is suffering from major blood loss. -1 to hit.
Zrk2 is blinded by blood. -1 to hit on next hit roll.

TolyK:
You tug your axe, freeing it, and shuffle back from the goblin as the dwarf slices his belly.
While the others try to turn the tide against the lone armored creature, you take another swing at a distracted enemy.
[6-1] [5] The goblin's right shoulder spurts blood as your axe parts his flesh, and he turns to strike at you!
[3-2] You tuck and roll, presenting a smaller, fast moving target, and his spear strikes the obsidian floor!

Spoiler: Temp Mods and Notes (click to show/hide)

Kaguro/Riki is in pain.
HEN/Hamal is in pain.
quip/Gump is having trouble breathing.
Blast/Urist has no modifiers.

Cook 2 is unconscious.

Jacen has no modifiers. 2 crossbows.
Zrk2 has entered a martial trance. Bleeding. -1 to next hit roll.
Rockman has no modifiers.
Scourge has no modifiers.
Tolyk has no modifiers.

Gobbo 1 is unarmored, in major and bleeding.
Gobbo 2 is unarmored, blind, unconscious. Is having trouble breathing and is bleeding heavily. Death in two turns.
Gobbo 4 is unarmored, unarmed, bleeding. Spilled gut, extremely nauseated.
Gobbo 5 has lost left hand and index finger right hand. In pain.
Gobbo 6 has major blood loss. -1 hit.

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Hack, slash, and slice the remaining goblins.

[KaguroDraven]

Go west to escape this hellhole, I have a shiny axe to bring back home.

[FuzzyZergling]

Go west to escape this hellhole, I have a shiny axe to bring back home.

Just to be clear, do you want to leave the citadel for certain?

[KaguroDraven]

Yup, my guy lost an eye and gained a shiny new axe, it's time to leave.

[IronyOwl]

Offer to let a goblin live if it joins us in assaulting the citadel. Refusal = Death.

[HighEndNoob]

Wait for the lift to go up.

[TolyK]

Hack, slash, and slice the remaining goblins.

Repeat maneuver.

[Megaman]

Continue to assist that short, alcoholic, trancy-looking FLESHBAG by eliminating the short, green, fingerless FLESHBAG

[quip]

Wait for the lift.

[BlastoiseWarlorf]

Bash down door.
(To be honest, I would of done this anyway.)

[FuzzyZergling]

KaguroDraven:
You head west, moving carefully but swiftly through the cleared corridors.
You go through the dining hall, past the prison room, and out the crack in the wall.
You turn south, and head for home.
Rikishak, Kobold Axebold and Scourgebold, has escaped Festerguts with his life.

Returning to his home warren, he is lauded as a hero for aquiring a legendary weapon, which they name Champbold's Hatchet. The contents of has potato sack, while less impressive, are also more than most kobolds bring back in a single raid. He lives a mostly peaceful life thereafter, leading small raids on human farming villages and small castles.

HighEndNoob and quip:
The Elevator life ascends, and you step off at the top.
[5] There is an exit to the right, and a man wearing kitchen utensils hiding behind a clump of machinery. He is terrified.
There are also two bodies, one headless.
[2] [6] Gump is breathing regularly.

BlastoiseWarlorf:
You ready your hammer, and strike the large door.
[5+1+1-1] The door's hinges are rusted, and it falls with a clatter.
Climbing up into the arena, you see that there are none of the usual guards around. Suspicious.
The arena is a large round building, with an exit to the west. There is another large door, too large for you to open by yourself. There are other prison cells sunk into the ground, you don't know if they are unoccupied or not.

JacenHanLovesLegos:
With this enemy defeated, you turn your attention to the increasingly bloody ring of goblins around Zrk2.
Charging, you [1+2] slash at [2] the unarmored goblin with your scourge! You [6+2-1] catch his spilled guts, and wrench them out!
The majority of his internal orgens follow, and he dies.
Gobbo 4 has died.

IronyOwl:
Using the broken goblinese that you've learned in your imprisonment, you offer the goblin mercy in exchance for his cooperation an assaulting the citadel.
[3] He feels insulted by your thought of how easily he would commit treason, but offers to stop trying to kill you if you do the same for him.

TolyK:
As you and the goblin slash at each other, [6-1] you strike with your axe, [2-1] but he parries the shorter weapon and swings his spear!
[1-2] He misses, and you grasp the shaft, flinging it away!
Gobbo 5 is unarmed.

Megaman:
You move to attack a goblin [4-2] but he avoids you and throws his weapon!
[2+1-1] The spear scratches your body, but doesn't do any important damage.
Gobbo 6 is unarmed.

Zrk2:
The remaining opponent stands with his back to you, distracted by Rockman.
As your martial trance begins to fade, you swing your axe, [2+1-1] but the blood in your eyes interferes and you miss!
Zrk2 is no longer in martial trance.

Spoiler: Temp Mods and Notes (click to show/hide)

HEN/Hamal is in pain.
quip/Gump has no modifiers.
Blast/Urist has no modifiers.

Cook 2 is unconscious.

Jacen has no modifiers. 2 crossbows.
Zrk2 is bleeding.
Rockman has no modifiers.
Scourge has no modifiers.
Tolyk has no modifiers.

Gobbo 1 is unarmored, in major pain and bleeding.
Gobbo 2 is unarmored, blind, unconscious. Is having trouble breathing and is bleeding heavily. Death in one turn.
Gobbo 5 has lost left hand and index finger right hand. In pain. Unarmed.
Gobbo 6 has major blood loss. -1 hit. Unarmed.

[TolyK]

Finish him off!