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I did a recap of past events. No question here.

Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.
Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.
I'm still waiting for my dragons!

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Author Topic: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Troll Battle Part Two, Hamal Stands His Ground  (Read 74492 times)

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #105 on: December 10, 2010, 02:21:38 am »

Nod to the kobold in recognition of his valor, then attempt to finish the goblin with my trademark golf swing. For bonus points, I attempt to angle the attack so the head, should it come off, lands in the troll's mouth and distracts it by giving it a snack.

Ninja'd: You too? Let's go crazy with it.
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

Krath

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #106 on: December 10, 2010, 02:41:57 am »

Unleash the power of dwarven martial arts on the Troll's face.
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Like a quasar or something~

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #107 on: December 10, 2010, 02:48:14 am »

Wha- they're not dying horribly? I was promised dying horribly! You've let us all down, troll.

On the bright side, we're cementing a rather deranged signature move.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Tarran

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #108 on: December 10, 2010, 02:51:11 am »

Wait a second. It may just be me but I'm pretty sure "I thought going through the door was a great idea." on the poll was something different, like; "I thought going through the side door was a great idea". FuzzyZergling, are you trying to mess around with us or something?
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Quote from: Phantom
Unknown to most but the insane and the mystics, Tarran is actually Earth itself, as Earth is sentient like that planet in Avatar. Originally Earth used names such as Terra on the internet, but to protect it's identity it changed letters, now becoming the Tarran you know today.
Quote from: Ze Spy
Tarran has the "Tarran Bug", a bug which causes the affected character to repeatedly hit teammates while dual-wielding instead of whatever the hell he is shooting at.

KaguroDraven

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #109 on: December 10, 2010, 03:41:31 am »

Bite the goblin's throat!
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"Those who guard their back encounter death from the front." - Drow Proverb.
I will punch you in the soul if you do that again.
"I'm going to kill another dragon and then see if I can't DUAL-WIELD DRAGONS!
Because I can"-WolfTengu

Krath

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #110 on: December 10, 2010, 05:14:35 am »

Wha- they're not dying horribly? I was promised dying horribly! You've let us all down, troll.

On the bright side, we're cementing a rather deranged signature move.

You expected anything less from Bay12?
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Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

kilakan

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #111 on: December 10, 2010, 06:19:23 pm »

Begin to yell fore... just before realizing that it's hard to smack something with a spear.  Instead dodge past the fighters and free the slaves.
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FuzzyZergling

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: Still Fighting the Troll, Now With Less Crushing.
« Reply #112 on: December 10, 2010, 07:11:51 pm »

Tarran:
[1+1] You swing your golfclub (Hammer), but miss the golfball (Troll). In your mind, you hear the wall mocking you as it sinks a hole-in-one.
SeriousConcentrate:
Hearing Tarran's battlecry, you feel the need to assert your golf dominance. [2+1] [2+2-1-1] Your swing is a little off-center, and the goblin's head does not leave its shoulders. Instead, the right shoulder is dislocated, and she drops her scourge!
Goblin does not have a weapon.
Krath:
You decide to punch the troll. [6+1-1] Your fist connects with its lower belly, [6+1-2] aggrivating the spear wound!
[4-2] The troll has started projectile vomiting. It is both discusting and remarkably lucky, as when it's busy emptying its stomach, it's not emptying yours. With its teeth.

The troll is sick.
KaguroDraven:
You latch onto the goblin's [2+1-1] ear with your sharp teeth.
[6] The goblin latches onto you with it's left hand, and [6+1] throws you against the nearest wall.
[2] The wall is in a state of disrepair, and you are pierced [5] in the left arm by sharp obsidian fragments.

Rikishak is stunned and bleeding.
kilakan:
[6] You get past the troll easily, but find that the two humans are chained to the wall with iron shackles.
You'll either need the keys, or a steel weapon to free them. Or cut their arms off, whatever works for you.

MetalSlimeHunt and HighEndNoob:
As the elf fiddles with your restraints, you spot your equipment on a neaby shelf. Good fortune, that.

[1] The goblin attempts to stand, but cannot. [5+1] Still laying on the ground, it attacks Gottric, [6-2] stabbing him in the right eye with a long finger!
Gottric has been blinded in one eye, he has a permanent -1 to hit.

[6] The troll holds back the torrent of half-digested prisoner long enough to [4] [5+2-2-1] slam Urist across the room with it's good hand.
[5] Urist lands with a few minor scratches, and luckily has been punted near his axe.
Urist has regained his weapon, a Steel War Axe.

Spoiler: notes (click to show/hide)
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Krath

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #113 on: December 10, 2010, 07:15:18 pm »

Toss my axe towards the prisoners (but not too hard! Don't want it to cut off a limb, rite? rite.) and run off to engage the troll in more dwarf-to-troll COMBAT!

Real dorfs don't need a weapon to kill a troll.
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Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

KaguroDraven

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #114 on: December 10, 2010, 07:21:35 pm »

Whip the damn goblin!
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"Those who guard their back encounter death from the front." - Drow Proverb.
I will punch you in the soul if you do that again.
"I'm going to kill another dragon and then see if I can't DUAL-WIELD DRAGONS!
Because I can"-WolfTengu

Tarran

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #115 on: December 10, 2010, 07:21:48 pm »

Oh for crying out loud, I must have a curse or something. I mean, really, every time I'm trying to do something awesome I fail while whenever I do something not-so-awesome I succeed.

Oh well, might as well play along with my curse.

In the least awesome way possible, smash the troll's ribs.
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Quote from: Phantom
Unknown to most but the insane and the mystics, Tarran is actually Earth itself, as Earth is sentient like that planet in Avatar. Originally Earth used names such as Terra on the internet, but to protect it's identity it changed letters, now becoming the Tarran you know today.
Quote from: Ze Spy
Tarran has the "Tarran Bug", a bug which causes the affected character to repeatedly hit teammates while dual-wielding instead of whatever the hell he is shooting at.

Krath

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #116 on: December 10, 2010, 07:24:02 pm »

Oh for crying out loud, I must have a curse or something. I mean, really, every time I'm trying to do something awesome I fail while whenever I do something not-so-awesome I succeed.

Oh well, might as well play along with my curse.

In the least awesome way possible, smash the troll's ribs.

Contary to that, almost everything Urist does improves the situation in some way.  8)

Just kidding, you know we love you.
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Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

Zrk2

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #117 on: December 10, 2010, 07:52:53 pm »

Hurry up and die! I want in on this!
Kills Urist Waits patiently for turn.
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He's just keeping up with the Cardassians.

Krath

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #118 on: December 10, 2010, 07:59:10 pm »

Hurry up and die! I want in on this!
Kills Urist Waits patiently for turn.

You funny man.

I kill you last.
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Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

kilakan

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Re: Roll to Siege the Goblins: All Fun and Games, then Someone Loses an Eye
« Reply #119 on: December 10, 2010, 08:04:53 pm »


Catch Urists axe out of mid air, and in one fluid motion, server both prisoners chains.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2010, 11:10:57 pm by kilakan »
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