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Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.

Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.

I'm still waiting for my dragons!

[FuzzyZergling]

Tarran:
You are right behind Rikishak, readying your hammer! [2+1] you just clip the goblin, [4+2-1+1] but even that caves in his chest!
Goblin has died. Narrow copper armor destroyed.

Hey, what? That wasn't even remotely related to my action.

Start smashing the crack ((in the wall)) with my hammer as silently as I can until I can crawl through.

Sorry, I accidentally read your response from the the last turn!
Do you want me to change it, or is it not that big a deal?

Quickly throw my wooden spear after the fleeing human, attempting to either slow him down enough we can catch him, or kill him.  That's a ranged action, or will you not allow throwing?

You don't have the wooden one anymore (both hands are occupied), but spears can be thrown.
Thrown objects autohit unless you're impared, but only the weapon modifiers apply. (Your spear has -1 against armor, but not the -1 from you being an elf.)

[kilakan]

drop my spear, grab the hammer, throw the hammer at the fleeing human, then re-pickup my copper spear.

changed to this then.

[Tarran]

Wait, if you read my last turn's post("I'll follow Kaguro and help with the search for another way in.") shouldn't you have noticed something strange in the action, namely the underlined part?

Ehh, doesn't matter. After all, I did get a freaking awesome shot. Just please don't make that mistake again.

Get back to the crack in the wall and

Start smashing the crack with my hammer as silently as I can until I can crawl through.

[Zrk2]

Zrk2
Male
Dwarf
War Axe

Sounds fun.

[KaguroDraven]

Crawl through before the crack is made bigger and sneak around inside.

[Krath]

Chase down Human 2! None survive the wrath of Urist.

I feel like one of those companions in Adventure Mode who run off to chase a deer and get murdered by wild animals.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Swing at Human 1's head like a golf club. Yell "fore" if it goes flying off.

[FuzzyZergling]

kilakan:
You notice the hammer dropped on the ground, and quickly throw it at the retreating human! [6-1] The hammer strikes him in his neck, he stops running and starts drowning in his own blood!
Human 2 will bleed out in one turn.
Tarran:
Satisfied that the human is done for, you head to the crack and [1+1] manage to miss a goblin citadel. You feel incredibly foolish.
KaguroDraven:
With Tarran swearing colorfully in the background, you sneak into the crack. [4] You fear you've lost yourself in the darkness for a moment, but just before you give up hope, you see torchlight. Following it, you see a corridor going to the left, and a closed doorway that heads straight ahead.
Rikishak is inside the citadel.
Krath:
Deciding to put the man out of his misery, you run over and swing you axe [1+1], but his wild thrashing makes him harder to hit.
[5] Said wild thrashing doesn't come anywhere near you however.
SeriousConcentrate:
Seeing the dwarf swing at the gyrating man, you see the perfect opportunity to be witty. You swing your hammer like a golf club, and [5+1] [4+2] his head goes flying off into the sunset, as you let out a hearty battlecry. Golfcry. Whatever.
Loot: 1 Large Copper Armor.

[3] Gottric's cry does not go unheard, and a Beakdog (Enemy) bursts out of the surrounding forest.
It wears a saddle, and is obviously a stray goblin mount.

[3] Rikishak hears footsteps to the left, and what sounds like voices behind the door.

Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

Some animals are not hostile, and will be marked with either a (Benign) of (Friendly) tag. Hostiles are either (Enemy) or (Destructive).
Animals friendly to you can be ridden, if they are large enough.
Certain animals possess natural modifiers. For example, the beakdog gets a +1 to dodge, and deer a +2.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Human 1 will bleed out next turn, no worries there.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Attack the beakdog with another battlecry, just yelling without words this time. Am I wearing armor? :-\If not, I'll take/wear the copper armor instead of attacking.

[KaguroDraven]

Attempt to listen to the voices while staying hidden.

[Tarran]

Swear the most colorful cussing possible then get back to smashing that frigging crack.

[FuzzyZergling]

Am I wearing armor? :-\If not, I'll take/wear the copper armor instead of attacking.

Everyone is currently wearing armor (You are seasoned adventurers, after all!) but I only acknowledge the non-race material ones in the first post.
I'll change that when we get a character without armor.

So far your armor has done absolutely nothing, because none of you has gotten hit. Yet.

[Krath]

Clap at the supreme display of golf prowess and head off to help the crew open the crack.

[kilakan]

Decide such a vile animal must be put out of it's misery and servitude.  Attack the beak dog with the full fury of nature.  (aka stab it to death with my copper spear.)

[FuzzyZergling]

SeriousConcentrate:
Letting loose another battlecry, you [4+1-1] strike the beakdog in the [5] head, cracking its skull!
Beakdog (Enemy) is stunned.
KaguroDraven:
Silent in the darkness, you listen, [1] but you cannot hear the voices over the sound of footsteps.
Tarran:
[1+1] Again, your great hammer strikes nothing but air. Really, missing a stationary wall twice in a row?
Krath:
You clap in a polite manner (Which, for a dwarf, involves sarcasm and jeering.), then go to help Tarran with the wall.
Tarran, for some reason, is not working on the wall, but instead howling in rage. His cursing is making both you and everything else in the area uncomfortable, so you try to block it out with the sound of destruction. [5+1] [6+1] Your axe hits a natural weak spot in the obsidian, and a good portion of the wall comes down on top of you. [4] You roll out of the way, uninjured.
Larger creatures can now fit through the hole.
kilakan:
Eww, beakdogs, you hate those things. [4-1] [3-1] Your spear skewers its left leg, tearing apart all the muscles.
[6] The pain brings the animal back to it's senses.
Beakdog is on the ground. Beakdog is no longer stunned.

[1-2] On the ground, its skull cracked, the beakdog can only kick weakly in Kilakan's general direction. It doesn't hit anything.

[6] Nothing else jumps out of the forest.

[6] The footsteps recede, and Rikishak will now be able to hear whatever is behind the door perfectly.

Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

Both humans have bled to death, but the beakdog can still put up a fight. (If it can get a decent roll.)

Any mistakes?