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Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.

Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.

I'm still waiting for my dragons!

[quip]

To the North!

[TolyK]

Scout around. Lootz.

[FuzzyZergling]

Hey guys, I know we just got back from an extended hiatus, but I'm going to be away from my internets for Christmas.
So, turn could be a few days coming. Sorry for making you wait.

[IronyOwl]

Attempt to calm child. Convince that it'll be coming with me now, so it might as well enjoy the trip.

[FuzzyZergling]

Megaman:
You head south, down the slightly charred hallway.
Halfway across, you encounter a female goblin, wielding a halberd and clad in copper armor. She seems to have a broken leg.
[5] You hear the clanking of several metal objects hitting the ground behind you and to your right.

JacenHanLovesLegos:
You feel the need to move south, like some sort of migrating waterfowl.
You dash down the hallway, and come to an intersection. Spying around the corners, you see rooms to the east and west, as well as directly ahead of you further south.
The eastern room is filled with an evil stench that you assume is being produced by some sort of burning pile in the middle of the floor. The pile is surrounded by dead creatures, some human and some goblin.
The southern and western rooms are much further away, but you can see movement in the western room and hear machinery in the southern.

TolyK:
You skulk around the room carrying the child, which has since stopped crying.
[5] You turn up a nice copper dagger, and for some reason almost an entire roasted chicken. You also find a bunch of small, worthless child's playthings.
Tolyk has aquired Copper Dagger, Roast Chicken.

IronyOwl:
You assure the child that it has nothing to fear from you, and it seems to calm down.
It keeps clancing down the northern hallway with a nervous look in its eyes.

quip:
While Hamal checks the dwarf over for valuables, you investigate the sound down the northern hallway.
Halfway down, you come across a large stone man with a large crossbow, both of which are covered in bloodstains. The bloodstains are also large.

HighEndNoob:
You root through the dwarf's pockets, [4] but other than his fancy armor there's nothing worth taking, and your steel is superior than anything goblins could produce.
Gump seems to have wandered off.
[2] [2] Hamal's injuries remain.

BlastoiseWarlorf:
[6+1] [3+1+1] You raise your hammer above your head, and bring it down in a spectacular finishing blow!
The goblin's head dissolves into a grey-green mush, and you decide to board the platform before any of your enemies wake up.
Urist has exited martial trance.

Spoiler: Temp Mods and Notes (click to show/hide)

New poll, for those of you who wish to know.

Hamal is bleeding and is having trouble breathing. Two halberds.
Gump has no modifiers.

Jacen has no modifiers. 2 crossbows.
Rock Man is slightly damaged.
Scourge has no modifiers.
Tolyk has no modifiers.

Elf Child has no modifiers. Non-hostile. Held by Scourge.
Goblin Child has no modifiers. Non-hostile. Held by Tolyk.

Urist is bleeding heavily.

[IronyOwl]

Ask child what's down northern hallway.

[TolyK]

Give child to Irony, give him Dagger, and some pointers on how to use it defensively.

[quip]

Head back down south. No need getting murdered when there are meatshields other players nearby.

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Wait for everyone else. Safety More dead enemies in numbers.

[HighEndNoob]

Try to find Gump.

[Megaman]

Keep crossbow aimed threateningly at goblin, quickly glance behind and to the right

[FuzzyZergling]

The Story So Far...



Part I: First Floor, Troll On Fire
The adventure begins with the party of Gottric and Tarran the humans, Rikishak the kobold, Urist the dwarf, and Kilakan the elf approaching the dreaded goblin citadel of Festerguts.
SeriousConcentrate, Tarran, KaguroDraven, Krath, and kilakan have entered the game.

Rather than break in through the front door, they cunningly sneak around the back and discover a convenient hole in the obsidian walls, taking out several guards in the process.

Rikishak enters ahead of the group and scouts out a suspicious doorway, which the group enters once they all get inside.
Beyond they find a goblin torturing two prisoners, and a troll.
Defeating the troll in an epic battle involving the entire room being drenched in vomit and several horrible injuries, the prisoners are freed. They name themselves Hamal and Metalslimehunt.
HighEndNoob and Metalslimehunt have entered the game.

The party splits up to battle different opponents in several areas, with the main group battling some dwarven goblins (Goblin dwarves?) in a dining room-like area.
After finishing off the dwarves, Tarran, Metal, Gottric, and Rikishak leave to the north to investigate while Urist tends to a broken leg and Hamal is killing/being killed by goblins.

Tarran's group encounters a large door, and behind it they find a fuel stockpile and a troll. Lighting the stockpile, they close the door and wait for the troll to burn to death.
Unfortunately, the troll's great strength allows it to burst through the door, and it pursues them while on fire!
Urist, after being ambushed in the dining hall, is taken to a prison area.

Kilakan and Gottric are crushed underfoot by the troll, while Tarran and Metal escape. Rikishak has since found his way to a kitchen, and hides from a human cook.
Urist and another prisoner, a goblin, are freed when the burning troll engages their captors in a mad frenzy. The goblin is named Gump.
quip has entered the game.

Kilakan, Gottric, and Metal find and aid Rikishak in combating the cook, knocking him out and interrogating him. Rikishak collects a sack and stuffs it with partially cooked meat.
Urist and Gump have both made it out of the prison, and both them and Tarran are assaulted by guards, which they dispatch.
Hamal has spent this entire time in rapidly degrading combat with a goblin, and is defeated moments from victory.

Sensing Hamal in trouble, Tarran rushes to his aid, and stops the goblin before the killing blow can be dealt.
The kitchen group learn from the cook that the essential parts of the citadel are underground, and that an elevator is located in the center of the tower. Leaving the cook to Rikishak and Kilakan, Metal and Gottric attempt to locate this elevator, and bump into Urist and Gump.

The cook escapes while Rikishak "helps" Kilakan with her horrible pain problem. They leave the kitchen and the groups meet up outside a large door to the south of the Burning Troll Room/Prison. Everyone is there except Kilakan, who is northwest in the Dwarven Dining Hall.

While Tarran and Riki go to search for Kilakan, the other five open the huge door. The others return, and engage Weaponlord Demnas, the ancient Goblin Axe Lord.
The fight is long and hard, claiming the lives of Urist and Kilakan, but in the end they succeed, and Rikishak claims the goblin's legendary axe for himself.

A second party of adventurers appears to strike down the goblin menace. They are Jacen the human, Zrk2 the dwarf, and Rockman the stone golem.
Urist (Krath) and Kilakan have been struck down.
JacenHanLovesLegos, Zrk2, and Megaman have entered the game.



Part II: Second Floor, The Magma Sea
The first adventuring group of Kaguro, Tarran, Gottric, Hamal, Metal, and Gump decend the Elevator platform, reaching the Magma Sea deep underground.
Meanwhile, Jacen, Zrk2, and Rockman combat the guards at the entrance to Festerguts.

Gottric heads north across a walkway to an island in the sea of magma, while the other five enter a cave to the west, and are attacked by juvenile beakdogs. They repel the attack and continue further in while Gottric finds a downward tunnel on the island, and decends further beneath the Sea.
The second party finishes off the guards, and enters the citadel's large inner foyer.

The main group finds itself in a circular room filled with machinery and various levers. Pulling one uncovers several small holes in the walls of the room, and also deep underground where Gottric has encountered a huge door.

More levers are pulled, which causes the floor to drop out from under the party, dumping them into the beakdog pens. The irrigation system is also opened.
Gottric strikes the door and demands that it open, which prompts the wall-holes to ooze blood, possibly as part of the automated plumbing system flushing debris down to the lowest levels, or possibly due to the heavy magical taint effecting the area.

Zrk2 loots an obsidian chairleg, and the second party heads north, coming across a closed doorway. Unbeknownst to them, the first party and their released prisoners have already cleared most of the warrior goblins from the first level.
Rockman breaks the door down, end engages the enemies within, followed shortly by Jacen and Zrk2.

Gottric readies to force the door down with brute strength, but is cut down by its guardian, an unholy dwarven priest wielding an axe and clad in armor of a bright blue color. The priest chants the name "Nolsmu", presumably his chosen God, and repairs the doorway with goblin magic.
Gottric (SeriousConcentrate) has been struck down.

Rikishak and Gump escape through a small tunnel and floor grate respectively, while the rest of the underground party of adventurers defeat the enemies found within the beakdog pens and escape back into the cave.
The citadel party finishes off the crossbowmen, and see a second door heading further north.

Rikishak travels through the waterlogged tunnels, eventually reaching a large arena and finds that has bag of meat has begun to rot after his trip through the sewer system, while Gump makes her way across a precarious series of obsidian islands to arrive back at the Elevator. She then turns north following Gottric's footsteps.

Metal, Tarran, and Hamal investigate the rest of the tunnel, finding a living area/barracks, while Rikishak tosses chairs from the arena to make a way to ground level and Gump crosses another solid walkway to the southeast, arriving at the arena.
A troll bursts in, attracted to the kobold's pungent sack.
At this point Metal's player switches from MetalSlimeHunt to Ahra.

Tarran and Metal ascend a staircase, and find themselfs back at ground (of the magma sea) level, while Hamal backtracks and uses Gump's path back to the Elevator.
Gump meanwhile climbs Rikishak's tower of chairs, and meets him at the top, where both of them fall down. Riki sprints away, with Gump following after she glimpses the troll.

The second adventuring party smashes through the second door, where they are accosted by the long-winded Weaponlord Rochell, wielder of a legendary highwood bow.

Hamal has a frightening slip while crossing the not-a-path back to the Elevator, but makes across without bodily harm.
Tarren, Metal, and Rikishak meet up on the northern island, and soon encounter Hamal and Gump. The group heads for the elevator, but is confronted by a huge troll in armor.
The creature identifies itself as Weaponlord Chifwun, Troll Hammerer.

The battles with the two Weaponlords rage on, with Metal being stuck down with the troll's first blow and Zrk2 being severely injured by Rochell. Tarran and Rikishak flee, Tarran downwards through the northern islend and Riki upwards riding the Elevator.
Metal (Ahra) has been struck down.

Tarran encounters Gottric's corpse, followed by Gottric's ghost, who explains the events leading up to his death. The magic-infused corridor then begins filling with other ghosts, who fight amongst themselves.

The second party vanquishes Rochell without any losses, and spot a third wooden door. Rikishak reaches the first floor, and finds himself faced with a group of cooks, the leader of which being the one who escaped earlier.
The battle against Chifwun has turned in the adventurer's favor, as Gump is able to destroy (Or at least neutralize) the Hammerer's legendary greatclub by dropping it into the Magma Sea.

Tarran climbs back up the stairs, but soon meets a swift and undeserving death at the hands of a narrow walkway and a sea of magma.
Meanwhile, the topside group has discovered two prisoners, Scourge the elf and Tolyk the kobold.
Tarran has been struck down.
IronyOwl and Tolyk have entered the game.

Gump and Hamal finally finish off Chifwun, while Rikishak disposes of the cook trio, though he loses an eye in the process.
The second party and their two new recruits travel west, and run into a pocket of goblin resistance.

A dwarf wakes under the arena, and quickly frees himself from the goblin's prison, dispatching his guard. This dwarf's name is Urist McBloodRaiser (No relation to Urist McKrath).
BlastoiseWarlorf has entered the game.



Part III: First and Second Floor, Cleaning Up
Rikishak flees the citadel of Festerguts, bringing glory for him and his decendants by claiming an artifact of the highest craftsdwarfship.
Gump and Hamal board the Elevator and ascend, while Urist flees the empty arena.
Rikishak (KaguroDraven) has left Festerguts, and lived to plunder another day.

Tolyk, Jacen, Scourge, and Rockman defeat the goblin spearmen, but pay a price; Zrk2 has fallen in battle, impaling himself on his obsidian chairleg.
Zrk2 has been struck down.

Hamal and Gump capture a prisoner, the surviving cook, and make their way west, to the Dwarven Dining Hall.
There they encounter a large dwarf, who begins conversing with them in what could be called a friendly manner, but quickly reveals himself as a goblin and attacks.
Rockman and Jacen open the door to the next part of the citadel while Scourge claims Rochell's legendary bow, and the group continues onward.

They find themselves in a room filled with small beds, and soon draw out and capture two children.
Urist encounters a pair of goblins riders with their mounts, and springs into battle.
Hamal and gump do battle with the dwarf and defeat him without serious injuries, though their prisoner manages to escape.

Rockman journeys west, encountering the Room of Setting Trolls on Fire (fuel stockpile), although he doesn't guess at its terrible history, while Jacen scouts to the north, spying Hamal to the west and locating the Burning Prison and Elevator rooms.
Scourge and Tolyk stay in the bedroom, holding the children.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Did I seriously just spend six hours writing that?
I can't believe I started this thing a whole year ago. Kudos to you guys for sticking with me for so long!

[TolyK]

(Holy shit. That is all. I can't even think of an action right now, I'm not thinking right...)

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Are any players from the first party still alive?

[TolyK]

Well, KugaroDarven is alive but not with us.
Other than that, nope.

Volunteer party FTW.