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Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.

Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.

I'm still waiting for my dragons!

[FuzzyZergling]

MetalSlimeHunt:
The interrogation cannot begin until the man wakes up, so you decide to speed things up a bit.
[2] Seeing no other obvious way to proceed, you kick the man in the ribs. Not much happens.
Tarran:
You ready the killing blow, [6+1+2] [3+2+1] and smash his head in!
Guard 1 has died.
quip:
You struggle against the spear pinning you!
[6] In a show of amazing strength, you tear yourself off the spear!
[6-1] Swinging your halberd, [2] you bruise the guard's leg through his armor!
Gump is able to stand.
Krath:
Seeing Gump free herself, you jump in to assault the guard!
While grabbing his spear, you [4+1] punch him in the face, [2+1-1] bruising his nose!
Guard 2 is in minor pain, grappling with Urist.
KaguroDraven:
The human keeps up his "menacing" look, and you fall down out of breath.
As soon as you can breath again, you stuff the meat in your potato sack, dropping a couple potatos in the process.
HighEndNoob:
You keep shooting, [4+1-2] [5-1] landing another hit to the goblin's chest!
He [3+1] scratches you, [2] cutting your broken nose!
[6-3] You continue to stay conscious!
Goblin 2 is very winded; will pass out in three turns.
kilakan:
Your potato shenanigans done with, you continue your search for medical supplies.
[2-2] You slip on another potato. Damn you, tiny brown vegetable!
SeriousConcentrate:
Enamored with the feeling of power your newfound menacing-ness has given you, you puff out your chest even more and scowl, scowl, scowl like a one-eyed pirate. [6] You feel pretty good about yourself.
Gottric has +1 to next roll.

The guard grapples for control of the spear, [5] [6-1] but neither he nor Urist can get the upper hand!
He settles for kicking, [4] [5] landing a hit on Urist's good leg, deeply bruising it!

Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

Kaguro/Riki has no modifiers.
Tarran has no modifiers.
Serious/Gottric has -1 to hit (lost eye), -1 to attack (broken hand). +1 to next roll.
Krath/Urist has -1 to dodge (broken leg), no weapon or armor. Grappling for copper spear.
kilikan/Kilikan has -2 to all actions (severe wounds). No proper weapon.
HEN/Hamal has -1 to shield use (battle wound), -2 to hit (blood loss), and is in extreme pain. No armor.
MSH has no armor.
quip/Gump has minor blood loss, is on the ground.

Goblin 2 is very winded and in pain. Will pass out in three turns.

Cook has no weapon or armor. Unconscious.

Guard 2 is in minor pain, grappling for copper spear.

[Tarran]

Sensing Hamal in trouble, I look around for him.

[quip]

ATTACK THE GUARD!

[SeriousConcentrate]

Bored with waiting for the cook to wake up, I stomp on his... 'area.' That should bring him around pretty quick.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Prepare threatining halbard stance to be the Cook's first waking sight upon SeriousConcentrate's strike.

[kilakan]

Meditate and attempt to purge pain from my mind, removing my inhibitions caused by it.

[KaguroDraven]

Skulk in the back of the room

[Zrk2]

This gets better all the time.

And I like 'Troll on Fire.'

[HighEndNoob]

Kick The goblin in the chest again.

[Krath]

With a mighty Dwarven warcry, I put my other hand on the shaft of the copper spear and swing it to the right, and then keep spinning like some deadly dwarven...spinning...top. Hopefully dragging the Guard off his feet and into the air.

[FuzzyZergling]

Tarran:
You suddenly feel as though an ally is in trouble, and race off to find them!
[2] You seach several rooms, but find nothing! [3] You hear a thud, coming from down a further hallway!
quip:
You stand up and swing at the guard in one fluid motion, [2-1] but miss!
SeriousConcentrate:
You're bored with all this "waiting" nonsense, and decide to wake the man up yourself.
[5+1] A swift kick to the groin wakes him up instantly, although he is looking a little green.
Kilakan falls over. Must be an elf thing.
Cook has slight pain, slight nausea.
MetalSlimeHunt:
You strike a threatening pose, but the man doesn't seem to notice.
Kilakan falls down, though, and you choose to believe that your intensely threatening presence was the cause. Or it's some girl thing, you don't know.
kilakan:
Attempting to force the pain away through sheer force of will, you draw your mind inward.
[1-2] With nothing else to focus on, the feeling of pain becomes even more intense! You can't take it, and pass out!
Kilakan is in extreme pain for three turns, unconscious.
KaguroDraven:
You skulk around the cupboards near the back door.
[5+1] Your amazing skulking abilities turn up potatoes, hundeds of them! Unfortunately, they were in a top cupboard full to bursting, and are now scattered all over the floor. Also, the elf seems to have passed out. Must be fear of potatoes.
HighEndNoob:
[2+1-2] You kick at the goblin, but miss!
The goblin kicks back, [3+1] landing a hit to your [1] chest, bruising it slightly!
[4-3] The pain overwhelms you, and you give in!
You hit the ground with a thud!
Hamal is unconscious.
Krath:
You place both hands firmly and spin, hoping to dislodge the goblin's grip!
[2+1-1] [4] Unfortunately, the goblin has the size advantage, and wrests the spear from you!

As Urist regains his balance, the guard throws his spear!
[1] It strikes the dwarf in his large toe, right foot! The severed part flies off in an arc!
Urist is in pain. Guard 2 is unarmed.

Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

Kaguro/Riki has no modifiers.
Tarran has no modifiers.
Serious/Gottric has -1 to hit (lost eye), -1 to attack (broken hand).
Krath/Urist has -1 to dodge (broken leg), no weapon or armor. In pain.
kilikan/Kilikan has -2 to all actions (severe wounds). No proper weapon. In extreme pain (three turns), and unconscious.
HEN/Hamal has -1 to shield use (battle wound), -2 to hit (blood loss), and is in extreme pain. No armor. Unconscious.
MSH has no armor.
quip/Gump has minor blood loss.

Goblin 2 is very winded and in pain. Will pass out in two turns.

Cook has no weapon or armor. Slight pain, slight nausea.

Guard 2 is in minor pain, no weapon.

[Tarran]

Sprint as fast as I can, hammer at the ready, towards the source of the thud and strike any enemies when I get there.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Begin interrigation by showing the Cook Kilakan as an example of what happend to the last person who crossed me, and demand that he tell us everything lest he be next. (Heh, sucker will never be able to tell the difference between an unconsious body and a dead one.)

[HighEndNoob]

Continue to be unconscious.

[Krath]

Grab the spear that severed my toe and throw it at the Guard!