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Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.

Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.

I'm still waiting for my dragons!

[Zrk2]

Interrogate*

[FuzzyZergling]

MetalSlimeHunt:
You tie up the man with some empty sacks. Unfortunately, it seems he won't be waking on his own for some time.
kilakan:
[2-2] You attempt to procure medical supplies, but slip and fall on a potato.
If only you had taken supplies from the closet!
Tarran:
You continue walking as if you don't notice the guard, and when he gets close you [3+1] smash him in the face!
[3+2] He is caught off guard, and crumples to the ground!
[2-3] He gives into the pain!
Guard 1 is unconscious, in extreme pain.
Krath and quip:
You both start to dance.
[1] The guard is uneffected by your upsetting of this biznasty with you rude cuts, and [6] [2] attacks Gump!
[6] [3+1-1-1] He sweeps low with his spear, sending the goblin tumbling!
Gump is on the ground.
HighEndNoob:
You go for a headshot, [6+1-2] [1] but the bolt barely grazes him!
The goblin closes in, [4+1] and lands a punch to your [6] nose, breaking it and causing extreme pain!
[6-3] You manage to hold onto consciousness for now.
SeriousConcentrate:
You attempt to look menacing.
[2] You draw yourself up and stick out your chest, and you are pretty sure that if that cook was awake, he would have passed out from how menacing you are being. Kilikan trips, no doubt distracted by your manly ruggedness, and the kobold articulates what you assume to be intense fear mixed with envy.
KaguroDraven:
You decide that you need to procure more provisions, and skulk around the kitchen.
[2+1] You are a fairly good skulker, and manage to root up a whole pound of delicious half-cooked meat.
The human man with the hammer (Eyepatch-Hammer-Man, not Angry-Hammer-Man. It is so hard kepping track of all these human men with hammers!) puffs out his chest, likely in some attempt to look menacing. It is hilarious, and you break into hysterical yipping.

Guard 2 lifts his spear, [4+1] [6-1-1] bring it down on Gump's torso, pinning her to the ground!
Gump is experiencing low blood loss, and is pinned to the ground (cannot stand).

Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

Kaguro/Riki has no modifiers.
Tarran has no modifiers.
Serious/Gottric has -1 to hit (lost eye), -1 to attack (broken hand).
Krath/Urist has -1 to dodge (broken leg), no weapon or armor.
kilikan/Kilikan has -2 to all actions (severe wounds). No proper weapon.
HEN/Hamal has -1 to shield use (battle wound), -2 to hit (blood loss), and is in extreme pain. No armor.
MSH has no armor.
quip/Gump has minor blood loss, is on the ground, cannot stand.

Goblin 2 is winded and in pain.

Cook has no weapon or armor. Unconscious.

Guard 1 is unconscious, in extreme pain.
Guard 2 has no modifiers.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Wake Cook up with liberal application of water, fire, and halberd.

[Tarran]

HAH! I DIDN'T MISS THIS TIME!

Scream in victory and smash the guard's head in.

[quip]

Go beserk and crawl over to struggle against the troll screaming about how they ruined my dance routine. Start hitting them and the spear.

[FuzzyZergling]

If by "crawl" you mean "struggle against the spear impaling you to the ground", I can do that.

[quip]

Sure!

[Krath]

Grab the Guard's spear and punch him in the face with my free hand.

[KaguroDraven]

"disgusting creatures, actuilly cooking their meat". Fall over in my hysterical yipping once I see the tall disgusting creature(Tall-human, thin-elf, short-dwarf, green-gobin) while trying to hide the meat in the potato sack so they can't ruin the flavor by cooking it.

[HighEndNoob]

SHOOT THE DANG THING!
SO no-one is wondering where i am?

[kilakan]

Continue attempting to heal myself via any means necessary.

[Zrk2]

Apply again for entry into this lolzy game.

Maybe, who knows?

[FuzzyZergling]

Apply again for entry into this lolzy game.

Maybe, who knows?

If you submit a second character sheet, I will consider putting you on the waiting list a second time.
Maybe.
Still won't change the "in" order, though.

[Zrk2]

Ok, I'll just shut up and wait. Thanks for not getting ticked off about my incessant moaning.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Unaware of the reactions, continue to be menacing. Or the closest thing to it. ^^