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Troll on Fire is the best meme ever.

Troll on Fire is terrible, FORE is much better.

I'm still waiting for my dragons!

[FuzzyZergling]

Note: I am not currently taking any additional waiting listers, very sorry.

You are a group of adventurers, and you have gathered together to destroy a goblin citadel for glory and profit!
You choose a race, gender, and weapon, and then off you go!

Spoiler: Race (click to show/hide)

Human: Can use all weapons and shields, +1 to hit. Items are iron.
Dwarf: Can use small weapons and shields, +1 to damage and dodge. Items are steel.
Elf: Can use all weapons and shields, +1 to hit and dodge, -1 to damage. Items are wooden.
Goblin: Can use all weapons and shields, -1 to enemy damage, -1 to dodge. Items are copper.
Kobold: Can use small weapons, no shields, +1 to dodge, and can sneak. Items are steel or copper.

Spoiler: Gender (click to show/hide)

Male: +1 to hit, -1 to dodge.
Female: +1 to dodge, -1 to hit.

Spoiler: Weapons (click to show/hide)

Axe: Small, +1 to small enemies, -1 to armored enemies.
War Axe: Small, no modifiers.

Halberd: Large, +1 to small enemies.
Spear: Small, +1 to large enemies, -1 to armored enemies.

Hammer: Small, +1 to armored enemies, -1 to large enemies.
War Hammer: Small, +1 to armored enemies, -1 to hit.
Great Hammer: Large, +2 to armored enemies, -1 to hit.

Whip: Small, +2 to unarmored enemies, -1 to armored enemies, -1 to hit.
Scourge: Small, +2 to unarmored enemies, -2 to armored enemies.
Flail: Large, +1 to unarmored enemies.

Crossbow: Small, +1 to small enemies, -1 to hit.
Bow: Small, +1 to unarmored enemies, -1 to hit.

Spoiler: Notes! (click to show/hide)

Thrown weapons autohit if unimpared, but gain no non-weapon modifiers.
Kobolds always hit when sneaking. If an object is thrown when sneaking, it has +2 to attack.
Material effectiveness goes Wood<Copper<Iron<Steel.
Large characters who have a small weapon may start with a shield, other characters have to loot one.
Most enemies do not have race/gender modifiers unless noted.
Bolts and arrows are magic; they appear from nowhere and are unlimited in supply.
Permanent modifers are permanent.
Just because someone dies does not mean a new character gets in.

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

HighEndNoob
Name: Hamal
Race:Human
Gender: Male
Weapon: Halberd (Copper)
Armor: Steel
Stats: Hit +2, Small +1, Dodge -1

quip
Name: Gump
Race: Goblin
Gender: Female
Weapon: Halberd (Copper)
Armor: Padded Copper
Perma Stat Mods: -1 Dodge (Broken Leg)
Stats: Enemy Damage -1, Hit -1, Small +1, Dodge -1
Inventory:
 Potato Sack

JacenHanLovesLegos
Name: Jacen
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Weapon: Crossbow x2 COMBO
Armor: Iron
Stats: Hit +1, Small +1, Dodge -1
Inventory:
 Shield, Scourge

Megaman
Name: Rock Man
Race: Stone Golem
Weapon: Crossbow
Armor: Natural
Permanent Modifiers: Missing eye (-1 to hit).
Stats: Damage +2, Small +1, Dodge -2, Hit -2

IronyOwl
Name: Scourge
Race: Elf
Gender: Female
Weapon: Legendary Bow, Shield
Armor: Copper
Stats: Dodge +2, Damage -1, Unarmored +3, Hit +1
Inventory:
 Spear, Scourge, Copper Dagger

TolyK
Name: Tolyk
Race: Kobold
Gender: Female
Weapon: War Axe
Armor: Copper
Stats: Dodge +2, Hit -1
Inventory:
 Roast Chicken

Spoiler: Waiting List (click to show/hide)

SeriousConcentrate
Name: Ryncheet
Race: Kobold
Gender: Male
Armaments: Bow

Lemonblock
Name: Narena
Race: Elf
Gender: Female
Weapon: Bow

noah22223
Name: Aso
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Female
Weapon: War Axe

Spoiler: Maps (click to show/hide)

[SeriousConcentrate]

Sounds like a good time to me. ^^

Name: Gottric
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Armaments: Great Hammer

Believe that's a cumulative of +1 to hit, -1 to dodge, +2 to armored enemies.

[KaguroDraven]

Name: Rikishak
Race: Kobola
Gender: Male
Armaments:Scourge
+1 to hit, +2 to unarmoed enemies -2 to armored enemies.

[Tarran]

No swords? Sadface.

Name: Tarran.
Race: Human.
Gender: Male.
Weapon: Great Hammer.

That's +1 to-hit, -1 to dodge, +2 against armored enemies, and my items are iron.

No, I'm not copying SeriousConcentrate, I'm just picking the best combo I can think of, which happens to be the Human-Male-Great Hammer combo.

[FuzzyZergling]

I'm thinking maybe two more people, then it's on!

Also, I recently got a job, so I may not be able to update too often, we'll see.

Also, KaguroDraven, Rikishak's scourge is copper. Sorry for your loss.

[Krath]

Name: Urist
Race: DWARF
Gender: Male
Weapon: War Axe
+1 damage, +1 hit

Have I done the math on the modifiers right?

[FuzzyZergling]

Yup, that's right.

[SeriousConcentrate]

@Tarran: No problem, it's a good set-up. Armored enemies are likely to be tough enough that we'll need two people hammering 'em.

[kilakan]

Name:Kilakan
Race:Elf (someone had to be one, don't worry I don't like trees or anything)
Gender:Female
Weapon:Spear
+2 dodge +1 large enemies -1 armored enemies -1 damage

oops, too many negitives, that looks better

[kilakan]

hey can we pick up better weapons, not made of our class material as we go?

[FuzzyZergling]

hey can we pick up better weapons, not made of our class material as we go?

Yup.

Okay, I think that's a good number of people, let's get started!

After weeks of travelling through the harsh mountains, you have finally arrived, at the vile goblin stronghold of Festerguts!
A dwarf, two men, and even an elf have joined forces to oppose this force of darkness.

You are approaching from the south, there are two guards, but you have not been noticed.
You are in a shallow ditch.
What do you do?

[Krath]

Pick up a nearby rock and toss it past the guards. This will obviously make them look that way so we can come up from behind!

[HighEndNoob]

Can I join this?
Name: Hamal
Race:Human
Gender: Male
Armaments: Crossbow

Shouldn't Elfs get -1 to all rolls for being Elfs? and +2 to sneaking

[Tarran]

Continue sneaking through the ditch. Get as close as I can to the guards while still staying in the ditch.

[kilakan]

you left out the kobold btw, but anyways.... also shut up highendnoob.
While the others distract the guards, sneak through the undergrowth up the where they are, and quickly stab the nearest one through the back with my spear, then rip the spear back out, dodge past the guard and stab the next one.