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[quip]

Can we borrow the postman (who's been following us)'s weapon?
I'm pretty sure he had an assault rifle. So I guess we might as well try to fire it, stare at it for a few seconds when it doesn't fire. Proceed in bashing the zombies in using it as a club only to find out we had the safety catch on.

[Fniff]

Can we borrow the postman (who's been following us)'s weapon?
I'm pretty sure he had an assault rifle. So I guess we might as well try to fire it, stare at it for a few seconds when it doesn't fire. Proceed in bashing the zombies in using it as a club only to find out we had the safety catch on.

You grab the assualt rifle off the postman, and it clicks.

"Oh mother fucker!"

You manage to stun the zombies by clubbing them, but it doesn't work.

Oh, the safety catch is on. You turn it off.  You shoot holes in all of them. Nice one!

[quip]

TO DA CHOPPA!

[Fniff]

TO DA CHOPPA!

You get up to the helicopter, but it can only hold two people! Who steps up to the challenge?

[Demonic Spoon]

Chop two people in half so you can put in one of each of their halves and yourself. 1 people + 0.5 people + 05 people = 2 people

[quip]

Postie shall stay behind swaping our shovel for his rifle, say something nice and do a heroic sacrifice as a horde of zombies come forward. If possible he shall return later as a chekovs gunman.

[Fniff]

Chop two people in half so you can put in one of each of their halves and yourself. 1 people + 0.5 people + 05 people = 2 people

You ask politely to do this and they both slap you at the same time.

[Demonic Spoon]

How mean and uncalled for!

[Fniff]

How mean and uncalled for!

"Hey, when I cut up a bitch, I am nice when doing so! I am good at it!" You moan.

The postman says "I'll stay. I can hold them off using this...Postbag. Can I have my gun back?"

[Demonic Spoon]

"No, because you were mean." 

[Fniff]

"No, because you were mean." 

"OK, you ass." You fly off in the helicopter. Suddenly, a giant zombie rises from the ground! It tries to attack your helicopter! What do you do?

[Demonic Spoon]

Fly higher while shooting at it.

"Heh, that thing is almost as big as my dick." or other erection based joke.

[quip]

More dick choppa jokes!

[Fniff]

Fly higher while shooting at it.

"Heh, that thing is almost as big as my dick." or other erection based joke.

This doesn't have any weapons! You need to use something of your own!

"Hey, look, it's my dad's penis after watching the news!" You shout.

[quip]

Flip the helicpoter upside down and chop the things head off Grand Theft Auto style.