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Author Topic: Am I a Bad Father?  (Read 1945 times)

Nikov

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Am I a Bad Father?
« on: December 01, 2010, 05:02:14 pm »

I've got my six-month old son in the swing watching The Thin Red Line, a movie about WWII's pacific theater.

He's incredibly content to just sit there and isn't fussing at all, which he usually does. But he's watching violence.

By six months, can his eyes effectively focus and process images a good ten feet away? Or is it all bright colors and loud and exciting noises to him?

Needless to say, it might be best for the wife to not know about this.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2010, 05:57:24 pm by Nikov »
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smjjames

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2010, 05:06:46 pm »

At six months, he wouldn't be able to understand whats going on in the movie.

Unless your son has vision problems, he should be able to see fine by six months.

In all seriousness, this is something that you and the wife need to discuss. In my opinion, it would be better for him to watch kids/baby oriented shows, but he is your son, not mine, or anybody elses, so the decision is ultimately up to you and your wife.
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Criptfeind

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2010, 05:06:46 pm »

1: Life advice

2: I don't think it is hurting him, but with kids you may want to play it safe and keep him away for now.
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Nikov

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2010, 05:09:48 pm »

Hmm. We'll see if I can get similar results with 'family friendly' movies.

Usually I just put him on my lap and we go pwn noobs together when its my time to watch him, but this went from "while I make coffee" to "wow, THREE hours?"
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Neonivek

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2010, 05:12:04 pm »

In my opinion, it would be better for him to watch kids/baby oriented shows

Apperantly not even.

Though I am not a child psychologist. I just hear Television isn't always the best for development.
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mainiac

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2010, 05:13:06 pm »

I think this is one of those, better safe then sorry things.  He probably wont be hurt... but god only knows.
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Leafsnail

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2010, 05:13:55 pm »

Wouldn't've thought it would be a huge problem.  How bad is the violence in it?

Just as a side note, showing him scenes from war movies may push him in the opposite direction to the one you're intending.
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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2010, 05:15:33 pm »

Essentially, what you're doing is shoving images of people being murdered into his brain. At the very least, this is going to affect him later in life. It'll be subconscious, but it's every chance that he'll be a serial, bombing, rapist murderer.

And that's bad.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then again, you're Nikov, so you'd probably set him on the left-wing and laugh about it.
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smjjames

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2010, 05:16:09 pm »

Once he starts really learning about everything possible, then yea that kind of movie wouldn't be a good one for him, irregardless if tv in general isn't good for children.

Again, Nikov, this is really something that you and your wife are going to have to discuss. The fact that you had thoughts about it is actually good on your part.
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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #9 on: December 01, 2010, 05:17:28 pm »

irregardless

You do know that's not a word, right? :|
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Vector

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2010, 05:17:37 pm »

Yeah...

I don't know what your kid will do.  I personally read a lot of King Arthur books and, when some asshats at my school were going to rape a rabbit with a stick, wound up picking up a branch, standing in front of the rabbit, and roaring "thou shalt not pass."  I was in 4th grade or something.

Things I also did: got in a lot of fights, though that may have been more from temperament than imitation.



Thus I have proven, via anecdote, that kids do pick up problem-solving from whatever media they're exposed to.

In any case, I don't see any direct problems with your movie choices, but it'd probably be a good idea to discuss non-confrontational problem solving at some point.  I'd also stop showing him that stuff if he seems like he's having paranoia/depression/whatever problems of any sort.  Kids can sometimes take things really badly in unsuspected ways.  In particular, it's usually not very fun to have a hard introduction to death at a young age.  I speak from a certain amount of experience.

There's a balance between knowledge and protective ignorance.  Do whatever you honestly think is best, yadda yadda yadda.  And talk to your wife, because if she's as awesome as you seem to think she is, she should have a certain amount of wisdom to impart.  More than me, in any case.
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smjjames

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2010, 05:18:45 pm »

irregardless

You do know that's not a word, right? :|

I'm sure you guys know what I mean.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2010, 05:19:17 pm »

 Don't show him modern baby shows. They are all crap being slogged out just to make parents think they are good for kids. Conflict is good. Showing adults working out issues with themselves and eachother is good. Whether a war movie would show that or not I don't know, but violence and war are probably not as damaging as not having them see how people are and are not supposed to work out issues. I'd say look for some old 70's-90's movies and cartoons, they were usually a bit more focused on everybody before gradually shifting towards kiddie junk.
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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2010, 05:21:43 pm »

As someone who grew up in the nineties, I heartily recommend '90s cartoons. Stuff like Real Monsters, Ren and Stimpy, Rugrats are all perfect for little kids.

Also, put Avatar on. Avatar is excellent no matter the audience.
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Il Palazzo

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Re: Am I a Bad Father?
« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2010, 05:27:43 pm »

Make it a habit to always show him the Star Wars trilogy at least once a week, so that all the images and dialogues will be forever etched in his mind.
Then practice with him this conversation:
Nikov: "I am your father."
Nikov v2: "No, that's not true, that's impossible!"

[/helpful contribution]
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