Sorry I was on vacation totally forgot.
Cobra TriangleAberrant Logic is what I follow; - This game doesn't make much sense. Also "Abberant Logic" is an anagram of the game's title.
As I swim through rivers, lakes, and oceans; - You control a boat that goes through rivers lakes and oceans.
Always towards a goal, always against enemies; - All of the levels are either a race or fighting other boaters/monsters/UFOs
But the stupid thing is is that I can fly. - At the end of every level, a helicopter blade pops out of the boat and you fly away. wtf.
I suppose I'm bound by a snake's honor; - Allusion to the title.
I must stay out of the air when fighting. - The only reason I could think of why you wouldn't fly everywhere is some sort of honor.
But just how silly is it when I could save abductees? - UFOs try to abduct swimmers,
Instead I spin in circles fending off UFOs. - and the best way to fight them off is to spin in circles firing at them.
A Boring Cartel is not what I fight, - The game is quite fun; not boring. Also "A Boring Cartel" is, again, an anagram of the game's title.
(with the exception of the other vehicles, - Seriously the other boaters are just ridiculous.
whose motors are hardly competitive, - Soooooo sloooooooooooow
and whose guns take forever to reload) - PYEW...................................................................PYEW.............. etc
Indeed, "boring" is not how I would describe: - Well then, why isn't it boring?
giant monsters, turrets, cyclones, UFOs,mines, homing missiles, jets, oh my! - Of, that's why.
But when I reach the finish line, I leap with great excitement! - At the end of the racing levels, for some God forsaken reason, the boat launches into the air and spins. The more spins you get, the further you go, and the more points you get.