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[dwarfguy2]

"IDIOT FOOLS! THERE IS NO POINT TO THIS FIGHTING IF FROSTMOURNE'S FURY CANNPT STOP THEM!" *Turns to the tyrant.* "I can't believe I'm saying this but... would you like to join our fort?"

[Phantom]

"This Lasgun doesn't do anything!"
*The Imperial Guardsman simply throws the now overcharged Lasgun at the Tyranids, pulling out a Laspistol.*

[Twi]

Twi sighs as so many weird things appear, and yells at Tellemurius in something resembling exasperation, “Half the people here aren’t in this game! Deal with it!”

Meanwhile, Thera is busy killing, maiming, eating, torturing, and generally making life a living hell(how ironic!) for demons, giant insects and other nasties alike. Twi sees that and finds himself staring.

“What are you looking at?” Thera asks, prompting the herbalist to turn away very, very fast, and resume cleaving demons in twain. Lucky him, as she almost instantly starts hitting on that poor Imperial Guardsman.

"Hey cutie," she says innocently, looming in his face with a grin on her own."Sup?"

Twi, of course, sees that and facepalms.

“Great. My girlfriend is flirting. On the field of battle, no less.” A demon starts laughing uncontrollably. He dies horribly.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE?!” Twi yells his new battlecry.

((Yes, that's a horrible battlecry, deal with it.))

[Phantom]

"Heeey. Not now though."
*The Guardsman keeps firing, oblivious to the fact he is nowhere in the Imperium anymore and the fact he's the only Guardsman there.*
"Anybody want to keep shooting? Anybody? Anybody at all?"
*The overcharged Lasgun explodes, taking a considerable chunk out of the Tyranids and Demons. He also manages to chink the extremely large Tyranid too.*

[Twi]

“Aw! You’re no fun!” Thera pouts, before taking a rather large bite out of a nearby demon. After a few moments of chewing, she announces, “Mmm…tastes like chicken!” and continues fighting.

Twi only scowls and starts onto a monolog as to how crazy his life is while chopping demons in twain…

“Let’s see..*SLICE!* The majority of the population of this fortress is some sort of human/animal hybrids. *CLEAVE!* Someone has been using Runesmith. *SMASH!* I made a giant glass dome in less than an hour. *BASH!* We have a dance floor. *CRUSH!* My girlfriend is an arachna. *DICE!* And she’s hitting on someone else on-“

“I HEARD THAT! I’m a spider anthro, you fool!” Thera yells over the din.

“ALRIGHT! I GET THE POINT, ‘HONEY’!”

The demons start laughing like crazy.

“I hate you too.” Twi forces them out of it by murdering them. A lot of them.

((lololololol))

[Phantom]

Ghost, using some steel climbing cable that he brought up with him, descends the tower, offering Luke an easier way down than simply jumping off. He then carefully descends into the battle, arriving next to the Guardsman.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Need a gun?"
"No, I'm fine. That autogun you have looks special though. Well, it looks better than a Laspistol, mind if I borrow it?"
"Go ahead."
Ghost hands the Guardsman his Pulse Rifle. He then waits around in the back with a medical kit. The Guardsman then remembers what Thera looked like.
"Scratch that," he yelled at her, "You're a Xeno or a Mutant thing, can't have that!"
He caves in the head of a Tyranid and shoots at the largest Tyranid again.

[Twi]

“Hey! That didn’t stop Twi, now, did it, hon?” Thera complains, taken aback by the Guard’s sudden hostility.

“Hey! You forced me into it the first time!” Twi yells, scowling. He then facepalms as he makes his way over to that strange group.

“Okay, so I admit. She’s well worth the quirks if you go down that road…”

“See? Even he thinks I’m good!” Thera replies wryly.

“That’s not what I meant, Thera!” the herbalist says in exasperation.

“Oh, but I think it is!”

“…Look, could ya just stop flirting with him and fight already?”

“But Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Can’t you let a girl have a little fun?” Thera pouts.

“Not that kind of fun at the here and now. Besides, you’ve had enough…fun already.” Twi shudders a little.

Thera ignores him and suddenly kisses the Guardsman on the cheek.

Twi scowls. Again.“What, nothing for your boy? You’re a horrible spider and you should feel horrible.”

Thera’s response is to pick Twi up, hug him tightly and kiss him full on the lips for several seconds.

Twi’s too stunned to reply, but finally the spider lets him down…

“What?” Thera asks.

“Um.”

“Word.”

“I’m tempted to believe there is no god at this point. No god would let his world become this crazy.”

“You know you like it.”

Twi simply ignores her and keeps smashing things. Thera webs some demons to the ground and crushes them like you’ve never seen before.

((LONG POST for this thing...))

[Phantom]

"Gah! What the warp! If I wasn't fighting for the Emperor, I'd go with you but NO! Go with your boyfriend! Plus, I already have a girlfriend, dammit!""
The Guardsman wades into the horde, soon disappearing into it, but his firing can still be heard.

[Something Evil]

noticing the Tyranids

((YES! Bloody took long enough!))

*oblivious to the fact he is nowhere in the Imperium anymore and the fact he's the only Guardsman there.*

((This is unusual how? Cadians subconsciously default to "shoot anything wierd" from the first sound of gunfire.))

*The overcharged Lasgun explodes, taking a considerable chunk out of the Tyranids and Demons. He also manages to chink the extremely large Tyranid too.*

((My Flyrant's in the air, and the guards and zoanthropes are hanging back. The other 'nids were dead from FoF. Also, lasgun explosion vs. 'rant's bonded exoskeleton? Get real...))

*The spawning pools having grown to the Tyrant's content, it lands near the corpse of the slowly melting Hiveship and focuses its will.*

"Thisss isss what RESERVESSSS are for!"

*Another wave of 'nids erupts from the mucus-laden pools, some half-finished, their missing plates of chitin revealing the raw flesh beneath. Some get to butchering demons again, while others drag the demons' bodies to the purulent pit, increasing the biomass available to the Tyrant's forces. The demons are quickly dwindling, caught between the 'nids' expanding circle and the others' vicious onslaught.
The Tyrant rises to the air again, hovering in front of the Lich King.*

"It is a tempting offffer, Food. You alone have ssstrength enough to fell an Eldar Crafftworld. But I must first learn more about this place. If the trigggerhapppy duo would concentrate on cleaning up, then maybe we can reach an agreement."

*It then leaps over and grabs Twi, flinging him in its mouth, jaws designed to rip through tanks crunching down his body with sickening cracks.*

"Interesssssting..."

*Twi emerges from the spawning pool clad in chitinous plates strong enough to deflect plasma fire, apparently unharmed and slightly bewildered, having just been 'nomed to pieces, taken for a ride inside a mind with a million bodies and plopped back out in a fresh body. Bound to the armor's hand is a strange, worm-like thing. It appears to expect something, then decides to be a greataxe for now, its edge sharpening continuously as new weapon grows and the old is reabsorbed.*

[DrunkDorfPally]

((Huh, wha?  What sorta insanse DWARF Fort is this!?  X_x))

[Tellemurius]

*bites into Behemoth's left leg*
*the tigerman is shaken all over the place while hanging off the howling creature*

[Phantom]

"Son of a hell! Wait. I hear a Banebla-"
A Baneblade appears in a dimensional rift.
"CREEEEEEEED!"

[The Merchant Of Menace]

((I think we've had enough dimensional rifts))

[Twi]

"Awwwwwwwwwww..." Thera says sadly.
Twi breathes a sigh of relief, until he realizes who he's next to.
He takes the opportunity to...get eaten?

"Oh hell no."
"OKAY SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE?"
Thera looks confused.
"Is that you? You look kinda different."
"Apparently. Can I die now?"

[Something Evil]

"Son of a hell! Wait. I hear a Banebla-"
A Baneblade appears in a dimensional rift.
"CREEEEEEEED!"

((UR DOIN IT RONG: "A Baneblade pops out from behind a shrub/sapling."))