OOC: After completely forgetting to read this thread due to lack of time and more importantly, lack of memory, there are now nearly twenty pages to read. F this.
*In the distance a loud rumbling vibrates across the ground. A flock of birds rise from the trees and cry as they flee from the horrible grating of metal on metal. Over the horizon looms a strange mechanical beass splutters across the land. It is shaped like the mighty elephant but this is no mere animal. The long winding trunk is replaced with vicious whips that curl at the tip and drag slowly across the ground. The 'trunk' rises to join a metal frame of a head surrounded by two giant steel shields in the shape of ears. Below these jut tusks, perhaps the only real elephant part. The ivory however is bloody and mangled, stolen from the proud beast itself. The head joins a shining steel body with narrow slits across it, from which the tips of great siege crossbows can be seen. The bolts glimmering in the light. As the monstrosity comes closer it brings with it the smell of burning coal and blood. From the head a hatch opens and UnrealJake pops his grimy, sweating head out into clear view*
"Fellow Dwarfs and... strange cat people... I have travelled long, and far, and wide, and there were some narrow parts too. And I have seen and heard much. There have been many a dark night from me cowering in fear from bogeymen, goblins and children with sticks, but these days are no more! I have heard of a darkness sweeping our world from the sinister glaciers of the north to the peacful oceans of the south. I have seen them and I have deviced a cunning plan. This maching you see before you is but one small part of it. I now ask of you fellow dwarfs and... strange cat people... will you get me a pint of bloody ale? I'm parched!"