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[The Merchant Of Menace]

Could you guys take this somewhere else please?

[Tellemurius]

i know,if it makes you happy, build some necromorph to kill me in a descriptive way.

[iceball3]

*Iceball3 strikes bloodshedder in the head, blowing it apart!*

[Tellemurius]

hey i said necro death!

[b1gb0y2013]

*Santa quickly collects the blood into a barrel.*
*Dyes suit to get that nice reddish color*

[1freeman]

*finishes writing a sign, engraved on it are these words*

Now accepting all willing recruits for the fortresses military!!!

*sits at the recruitment desk, patiently waiting for volunteers*

[dwarfguy2]

"We'll join, mister Man."

Also, I didn't mention this earlier, but only one is talking at a time. This is always the same one, and shall hereby be dubbed waddle dawson.

[iceball3]

*finishes writing a sign, engraved on it are these words*

Now accepting all willing recruits for the fortresses military!!!

*sits at the recruitment desk, patiently waiting for volunteers*

"I'm in, and so is my partners, kitteh collosus!"
*Cats swarm in and gather up into a towering humanoid mass of cats over the booth.*

[1freeman]

*shakes every new recruits hands and directs them to the weapon stockpiles, giving them a choice of weapon*

*continues to sit at recruitment center*

[dwarfguy2]

"We have our own spears."

[1freeman]

*shrugs and decides to get a drink from the booze pile*

[dwarfguy2]

"So that's it then? No training montage? No practice dummies? Not even a captured kobold or two?"

[1freeman]

*points to the barracks which has the kitty colossus waiting for some sparring partners*

*returns to recruitment desk*

[dwarfguy2]

"Oh dear. Nice kitties... we're just here to spar..."

[iceball3]

"Hmm"
*Replaces chicken leather pick with a BLT wooden scythepickhammergatgundelsolrevolverblazecameraorange*
"Wheres your, uh, weapons now?
..."
*Takes the kobold cage and hauls it into my bedroom. I throw a steak at it and admire a sentient animal in a cage recently*