To ah, follow up on the drinking thing, I made it a full 7 days without any alcohol. It was mostly just annoying, but diet soda helped a lot with the habit part when things got dicey.
The effect is really hard to describe. For the first 3 days I had a giddy, healthy energy which I was able to put into chores I'd been neglecting. Makes sense when coming off a depressant. For the last couple days that mental energy normalized a bit, but I still had a lot of nervous physical energy to burn off. I suspect that's why I kept failing to fall asleep while drinking. Instead of chores I simply walked for long distances (despite the cold) which burned off the energy and helped me think and relax my mind, away from distractions.
All in all my sleep schedule became amazingly "normal" and restful, though I also took a couple of melatonin pills. I'm *definitely* suffering a deficiency somehow, because those things knocked me out so suddenly I left stuff running.
Anyway, full disclosure, I closed out the week by having 3 beers. It was a relief to taste them again, even though they're objectively bad cheap beers. As I suspected, the alcohol didn't really feel great. There was a slight reduction in anxiety, along with a nauseous feeling. I have (in another room) plenty of hard liquor to get blackout drunk on, but I was only briefly tempted to have any. I think it's too dangerous because it's very difficult to track how much I'm having. It's a shame it's so much cheaper. If I'm going to use it at all, I'll need to do the math and arrange an accurate measurement system. Bonus points if it's inconvenient - like leaving the bottle in another room.
It's been interesting interacting with my new music-sharing friends online without any buzz. I still get tired of social interaction, but on a much healthier scale - instead of overdoing it one day and then curling up in a ball the next, I find myself changing my status every couple of hours. Heck, there seem to be so many more hours in the day! It's a lot to handle sometimes, but it's mainly amazing. I also get to talk about important things without constantly worrying that I'm drunker than I feel.
I really love writing, huh? I'd been thinking up some creative projects as I walked, and today I feel the energy to work on one in particular. I think that as long as I spend this nervous energy on *something*, I won't even feel like calming myself down with alcohol.
(Funny/scary side note- my ex messaged me RIGHT as I finished the second beer, despite my status being idle, for the first time in a month. Talk about timing, huh? They're doing well, found a new job, and really really want a girlfriend xD I'm *so* glad I was mostly-sober, it was a nice tame chat.)
(Oh and it's been raining a lot the past couple weeks, which I consider a good omen! It rained particularly hard last night, which helped me fall back asleep a couple times <3) (shame about the flooded basements I've had to help clean out, but hey, it's work)
Author
Topic: Things that made you absolutely terrified today (Read 2021084 times)