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[Dunamisdeos]

If I ever go back to EMT school I'm going to start referring to things as "The Munchy Parts" and see how long they let me stay.

Not long if you don't put some pants on.

I think my response to "Why aren't you wearing pants" would be "Why are you looking under my desk".

[Kagus]

Medical peeps have funky humor, I'm pretty sure you'd be fine. I remember reading a story from someone who'd started referring to blood types as "flavors".

[ChairmanPoo]

Two words: impromptu ventriloquism

[Dunamisdeos]

Ok now that we're talking about medical things, this is the terrified thread, and I want to terrify you as once I was terrified myself. I may have told this one elsewhere.

I did go to EMT school, and a big part of that is learning about various physical injuries. We actually were trained to do very little to assist in non-physical injury outside of recognizing it accurately and rushing them to more qualified medical professionals. We did, however, make the terrible mistake of asking our 40-years-a-Paramedic instructor what the worst injury he ever saw was. This was a man who had cleaned up after F5 tornadoes. He grinned sort of like [this] and told the following story. I'm spoilering this one. It contains no tragic death or babies or any of that specific kind of psychologically horrific shit. It is a nonlethal injury.

Spoiler: The story. Click at your own risk. Maybe NSFW. Part One (click to show/hide)

So first, we need to understand what an avulsion is. This is when tissue is crushed/pulled or otherwise torn entirely away. After that, we need to know what a degloving avulsion is. This is when a large section of skin is fully removed from the tissue beneath. The most common instance is wearing a wedding ring around heavy machinery, in which the ring catches and it takes the skin off your finger. It is like a glove coming off, but its your skin. [CLICK HERE FOR AN UNCENSORED AND VERY, VERY BLOODY REAL EXAMPLE. BE WARNED.]

For those of you who clicked the terror-photo above, please keep it firmly in mind.

Spoiler: Part Two (click to show/hide)

So anyway this one dude decided to see what happened when he put his erect dick into an industrial-super-powered vacuum cleaner to get off. He got it off in the more literal sense, and lost all of the skin on his dick. it took maybe 5 full seconds for the entire class to process that thought before we reacted with soundless terror faces, and my professor with evil cackling.

The skin was retrieved and reattached, so the guy VERY LUCKILY suffered little more in terms of lasting effects than a life lesson he will never forget, and possibly an instinctive aversion to hot dogs. Also his story is likely told every few months to every class stupid enough to ask that question to the professor.

Anyway enjoy your dreams tonight!

[Iduno]

Ok now that we're talking about medical things, this is the terrified thread, and I want to terrify you as once I was terrified myself. I may have told this one elsewhere.

I did go to EMT school, and a big part of that is learning about various physical injuries. We actually were trained to do very little to assist in non-physical injury outside of recognizing it accurately and rushing them to more qualified medical professionals. We did, however, make the terrible mistake of asking our 40-years-a-Paramedic instructor what the worst injury he ever saw was. This was a man who had cleaned up after F5 tornadoes. He grinned sort of like [this] and told the following story. I'm spoilering this one. It contains no tragic death or babies or any of that specific kind of psychologically horrific shit. It is a nonlethal injury.

Spoiler: The story. Click at your own risk. Maybe NSFW. Part One (click to show/hide)

So first, we need to understand what an avulsion is. This is when tissue is crushed/pulled or otherwise torn entirely away. After that, we need to know what a degloving avulsion is. This is when a large section of skin is fully removed from the tissue beneath. The most common instance is wearing a wedding ring around heavy machinery, in which the ring catches and it takes the skin off your finger. It is like a glove coming off, but its your skin. [CLICK HERE FOR AN UNCENSORED AND VERY, VERY BLOODY REAL EXAMPLE. BE WARNED.]

For those of you who clicked the terror-photo above, please keep it firmly in mind.

Spoiler: Part Two (click to show/hide)

So anyway this one dude decided to see what happened when he put his erect dick into an industrial-super-powered vacuum cleaner to get off. He got it off in the more literal sense, and lost all of the skin on his dick. it took maybe 5 full seconds for the entire class to process that thought before we reacted with soundless terror faces, and my professor with evil cackling.

The skin was retrieved and reattached, so the guy VERY LUCKILY suffered little more in terms of lasting effects than a life lesson he will never forget, and possibly an instinctive aversion to hot dogs. Also his story is likely told every few months to every class stupid enough to ask that question to the professor.

Anyway enjoy your dreams tonight!

Being vague on purpose, but isn't the diameter on the non-industrial ones so narrow to avoid that happening to people? Why would you try it with an overpowered one?

[Kagus]

Being vague on purpose, but isn't the diameter on the non-industrial ones so narrow to avoid that happening to people? Why would you try it with an overpowered one?

S U C C

[TamerVirus]

All that shit

[Dunamisdeos]

I am not sure if the regular ones are built in such a way as to prevent that specific event. Presumably the designer of an industrial one assumes the operator is not a huge _dingus or otherwise trained in its use.

I dont think a regular one is strong enough to cause bodily harm. You can safely put your hand over it after all. Then again I haven't tried as determinedly as this fellow did.

Also I can't fucking sleep tonight so I came here to check reactions and I am not disappointed.

[Kagus]

Difference is, a hand is a flat(ish) surface, while something else that can be inserted into the tube will (when air flow is blocked) be subjected to forces on all sides, resulting in far greater strain on the structure and composition.

While this isn't necessarily immediately catastrophic, there's research to suggest that the constant negative pressure can damage internal fluid mechanisms, resulting in hindered or outright blocked activation of the hydraulic systems. This can permanently reduce the unit's ability to further insert.

Also think about all the spiders in that thing, man.



So I guess what I'm trying to say is; please don't fuck Roomba-chan.

[Naturegirl1999]

Human stupidity astounds me

[Loud Whispers]

I remember seeing degloving in safety briefings as to why you should never wear jewelry or watches whilst on a ship. Too many high velocity things to get snagged on and degloved

[scriver]

Also because the other sailors don't want to think about you having a wife when you're doing the ol' Roomba-doomba

[Loud Whispers]

Also because the other sailors don't want to think about you having a wife when you're doing the ol' Roomba-doomba

The ol' intruder-protruder complex maneuver, the senior German method of coal extraction by hydraulic action, the primeval penile upheaval, the bygone era of in my rear-a, the international standard of maritime butt bandits, the seven seas seamen on the poop deck

[Tingle]

Human stupidity astounds me

I hope you look to yourself as patient zero of this astonishment.

[Egan_BW]

We're not stupid so much as we each live in our own detailed internal model of the universe which due to fundamentally limited resources cannot hope to even vaguely match the unlimited detail of the actual universe, and people have varying priorities as to where the detailed is placed.

That is, we can't perceive anything at all outside of a shockingly tight tunnel vision which we don't often realize is there. When you look at someone else they almost certainly are missing something that's obvious to you. If any of us were observed by a god with complete perception of the universe, we would all look like complete dunkasses.

That is that is, hot dog skinning is pretty much a necessary tradeoff for having a tiny brain made of meat.