EDIT: So I decided to finally read the article and I think you are slightly overblowing it. The female author is very condescending but never does she mention toxic masculinity. She occasionally talks about men being genetically predisposed to being less organized and she blamed a few things on the Y chromosome, but she isn’t calling a crusade for the death of men like some people I know.
i wasn't really referring to that one article, it was just an example. I was referring to the
mass of articles you get when googling "ghosting men" which are nearly universally articles how it's a guy thing.
If the
top google hits aren't about how it's toxic masculinity, that's only because these are the mainstream hits that exclude activists. These are just from the banal dating-advice columns of major publications.
Remember the above are just the first page hits from googling "ghosting men" and not from making any real effort to search for this stuff. Google "ghosting feminism" and you get the hard-liquor variety. I remember reading this article a while ago BTW:
https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/vbykxj/i-asked-my-woke-exes-if-ghosting-me-was-feminist"I Asked My 'Woke' Exes if Ghosting Me Was Feminist"
Or, a different google search "ghosting male behavior" gave me this
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/why-are-men-so-terrible-what-can-we-do-about-ncna895306"why are men so terrible what can we do about it". Which is clickbaity as hell, since the actual article title is "why are
some men so terrible ...", but the editors decided to shorten the "some" away.
in the case of ghosting, or otherwise being dropped by someone with whom you thought you had a relationship. It’s often hard to move on from that kind of hurt, but there are two important things you can try to keep in mind. First, no matter what you did wrong, you deserve an explanation — one that you probably, unfortunately, won’t get. And second, that there are men out there who do not buy into the popular image of masculinity as unfeeling and unconnected.
"image of masculinity as unfeeling and unconnected" as the cause of ghosting is close to saying "toxic masculinity" here. So, men ghost and they're the baddies. However, google "ghosting women" and you can find an article like this:
https://www.bustle.com/p/women-are-more-likely-to-ghost-someone-theyre-dating-than-men-theres-a-very-good-reason-for-that-8963133Why are women more likely to ghost? So many people are quick to write ghosting off as being cowardly behavior, but it can also be that the decision to ghost is informed by larger gender norms. Women often find it more difficult to be confrontational than men — not because we're cowards, but because, basically, society tells us to keep our mouth shut and not to upset anyone. "Women have definitely been socialized to be pleasing and deferential to men," relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW tells Bustle. "They often want to be liked and can even have a tendency to tell people what they want to hear. This has resulted in them having a much harder time asking for what they want sexually as well as even just saying 'no' when they mean no. So it definitely stands to reason that some woman will be drawn to take the easy way out and ghost the dates that they no longer want to see. If you have trouble telling people what they don’t want to hear then it’s going to be pretty tough to tell them you no longer want to date them!"
Oh right, so women are shown to ghost more in actual data, but they get a free pass because of "mah patriarchy". Both these last two articles together show the real danger of trying to weave pop-psychology / gender-politics into trying to understand basically any phenomena. When men do it, you write it off as "masculinity as unfeeling and unconnected" but when women do it you write it off as "society tells us to keep our mouth shut and not to upset anyone". When you have these two articles back to back it's clearly easy to see why the logic in one, or both, must be flawed, but when you only have articles looking at one side, it could
just as easily be using the same fallacious reasoning but be harder to argue against.
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Topic: Things that made you absolutely terrified today (Read 2022042 times)