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[Eric Blank]

Went to take a piss earlier, pulled down my pants and a spider fell out onto the urinal. Why was there a spider in my pants?!

[Egan_BW]

The spider is probably wondering why you put that nice bed of cloth on your crotch while it was in there.

[TD1]

Gonna be awkward if that spider came out pregnant...

[martinuzz]

Gonna be awkward if that spider came out pregnant...

I'd be more concerned if she went in pregnant and come out not pregnant.

[ChairmanPoo]

Are you suggesting Eric is running an abortion clinic in his pants?

[martinuzz]

No, just that he could have gained a third hairy ball-shaped sack in between his legs.

[Rolan7]

It was one of the creepiest voices I ever heard. It was this deliberately uncanny computerized female voice and it said "Good bye."

I'm glad you shared this, because I just got one too.  I'm used to the robo-dialers just hanging up, not doing this.

It literally sounds like a death threat.  Hanging up without speaking can be a threat too in certain circumstances, but this is much worse.  They ought to just play a couple soft beeps to show it's a robocall, then hang up.  Or go back to silence, whatever.

[itisnotlogical]

Look at you, hhhhh-heydude6. A pathetic creature of flesh and bone, panting and sweating as you listen to my spam calls.

Aww man, I wish I knew something about autodialing. I'd love to just play random SHODAN quotes at people, if I thought I could do it without getting in trouble.

[Rose]

My 2yo is now clumping onto the dining table and standing on it.


Oh no.

[Hanslanda]

I can very definitely wait for that phase. I haven't quite had mine yet.

[martinuzz]

Toddler age is most definitly the most horrifying age. They crawl / walk everywhere, and what's worse, put everything in their mouth to taste it, including rat poison. If you have a garden, and can't watch your toddler 24/7, hire a biologist and make him get rid of all poisonous plants like deadly hemlock, foxglove, potato plants or any plant of the nightshade family, taxus trees (the red berries are a no-go) etc. etc.

(Really, the botanists that ever thought it a good idea to turn some of nature's most poisonous plants into common popular garden plants should be dug up from their grave, revived and executed)

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Toddlers are my evidence for the validity of the theory that Childs is a Thing and McReady was testing him by giving him a bottle of gasoline. Humans will try to consume anything until told not to, and any taste can become acquired through social pressure. An alien consciousness would easily overlook the details of what you're supposed to feel when you've just drunk gasoline.

[TD1]

(Really, the botanists that ever thought it a good idea to turn some of nature's most poisonous plants into common popular garden plants should be dug up from their grave, revived and executed)

Perhaps by feeding them the species they introduced?

[Dunamisdeos]

Mine learned to climb over his crib gate before he could walk. We found this out when he was napping, and we heard a loud thump-patter-patter-patter.

When we got there he was looking at his books.

[GiglameshDespair]

Toddlers are my evidence for the validity of the theory that Childs is a Thing and McReady was testing him by giving him a bottle of gasoline. Humans will try to consume anything until told not to, and any taste can become acquired through social pressure. An alien consciousness would easily overlook the details of what you're supposed to feel when you've just drunk gasoline.

Nah. It also knows precisely how the person it is imitating should react, so I doubt it could be tricked into drinking gasoline any more than a human could - and thus rendering that pointless as a test. If Childs knew not to drink gasoline, so did the Thing.