I just spent what must have been over half an hour being not asleep enough to be dreaming and kind of aware of the fact I was asleep, so rather than dream hallucinations I was just having utter nonsense in my mind. And I was over time mentally struggling more and more to try and be properly awake, doing stuff like kicking me legs around to try and get some cohesive sensation that I can focus on, but it wasn't my actual legs that were moving it was dream legs. Started to get more and more panicked and more and more nonsensical until I was just having streams of numbers and letters going through me head.
Never again please brain.
At least you aren't having your emotions flipping the fuck out for no reason and having no bloody control over them and random hrjbrebg going on mentally and having an absurd sleep cycle of four hours per night (even though I went to bed at fucking 11pm) and always waking up after that and then suddenly as of last night passing out for three hours, waking up for another three hours, and then passing out for 13 hours before waking up to even more escalated emotional nonsense with the addition of occasional visual hallucinations and a weird tingling around my lower back that won't go away.
Did I mention that I went to three doctors and got an MSRI and they can't find a problem with me physically beyond hormone levels being like one or two percent above average (which is normal for me and has been the same reading I always get)?
I don't even fucking know any more.
I want it all to stop, I want my emotions to calm their nipples, and I want my body to stop flipping out. I'm probably going to have a random panic attack for no reason and it's just uUUUGGRIUHGurhguerhgeurihgerougherugh.
Also it's pretty obvious it's a mental or emotional issue, nothing physical, not schitzo as far as they can tell, and it's just all ufuyesfue.
Edit: Not trying to oneup you or anything, I sorta just went into a rant there, sorreh.