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[Cthulhu]

Spoiler: This is what your dog sees when you can't figure out why it won't stop barking (click to show/hide)

[Monkeyfacedprickleback]

Magpies.

If you don't find those birds threatening you live on the wrong continent.

[olemars]

Never felt threatened by a magpie. Oh, you live in Australia. I would not be even a little surprised if australian magpies have venomous stingers that'll kill you after 48 hours of excruciating pain.

[ChairmanPoo]

I once raised a chicken magpie to adulthood. Pichina, we called her (?)

[Reudh]

Australian magpies (males) get a testosterone surge during the breeding season, rendering them the equivalent of a guy on steroids - ('HE LOOKED AT ME, I'M GONNA SMASH HIM')

I've had one tangle its talons in my hair, and another only miss gouging my eyes because of my glasses.

[NobodyPro]

Living in Australia really makes you appreciate how much nature hates you and your aversion to poison. I open my window slightly and a big ass spider crawls over the top of the frame. THE PART MY HAND WAS ON. THE PART THAT WAS ALREADY IN THE HOUSE.  AS BIG AS MY HAND. MY HANDS ARE HUGE.

[Reudh]

I once had a terrifying moment when a Victorian Funnel Web decided to set up residence in my 'bits n' pieces' cabinet.

Spoiler: One of these bad boys. Not as deadly as the Sydney Funnel Webs though (click to show/hide)

I saw this huge spider sitting underneath one of my treasured possessions, a papier mache bowl I made when I was nine... I had this sudden fear that it would crawl out during the night and maul my face, so I decided I would have to kill it. How to kill it, when it was under a treasured possession? It would crush the papier mache bowl if I punched the spider. It would weaken the bowl if I sprayed it.

So I coaxed the spider out with a hook fashioned from a metal coat hanger, then used insect poison to DRENCH the entire thing until it was a mess of bubbles of foam. It recoiled, until the bubbles had dispersed, and then made a break for it, straight toward me.
I sprayed it again to the same extent. Same recoil until the bubbles had dispersed, then it started running toward me again.

I FLIPPED MY SHIT.

Got my shoe and hit it with all my strength. It survived that, because I hadn't used the shoe properly, using it as if you were slapping someone with it. So I put my hand in the heel, then punched downward onto the spider.

It survived that with a lost leg but no less anger. I could quite clearly see the venom on its fangs, which were fuckin' huge, let me tell you.

TRY ONCE MORE GOOD REUDH!

And so I did, and I punched again, damn near breaking my hand with the force I put into the punch. It took two steps and keeled over.

CRISIS AVERTED.

SLEEP AVERTED.


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU----
Australia, Y U SO VENOMOUS?

[Trapezohedron]

Note to self: Do not watch ghost hunting videos or read creepypasta (specifically, SCP-173) at night, when you're alone, your room's silent and when you're a scaredy-cat.

Sadly, I don't expect myself to learn from this lesson.




I think I'm being watched.

[Cthulhu]

I actually became less scared upon reading 173.  Seriously, how many times has the "omg dont blink it just like doctor who it kill u if u look away" thing been done?

Ohio is sort of a nexus for poisonous spiders for the midwest.  In that respect we're kind of like Australia.  I've seen both brown recluses and black widows in my basement.

We're also a popular hangout of the only animal whose American version is worse than the Australian version.

Spoiler: Behold, American opossum.  Like everything else in the Midwest, it's addicted to meth (click to show/hide)

[Tellemurius]

Hey, possum some good cookin on the grill.

[Flying Dice]

Especially if you turn the grill on, not realizing that one snuck in there during the night.

[Shakerag]

OMG SPIDERZ

Wait.  Where's the health bar?  I thought spiders were so big in Australia they had health bars. 

Note to self: Do not watch ghost hunting videos or read creepypasta (specifically, SCP-173) at night, when you're alone, your room's silent and when you're a scaredy-cat.

Sadly, I don't expect myself to learn from this lesson.




I think I'm being watched.

So there's this game called Amnesia that you might be interested in ...

I actually became less scared upon reading 173.  Seriously, how many times has the "omg dont blink it just like doctor who it kill u if u look away" thing been done?

Ohio is sort of a nexus for poisonous spiders for the midwest.  In that respect we're kind of like Australia.  I've seen both brown recluses and black widows in my basement.

We're also a popular hangout of the only animal whose American version is worse than the Australian version.

Spoiler: Behold, American opossum.  Like everything else in the Midwest, it's addicted to meth (click to show/hide)

Yeah, I'm in central Illinois here, and I get ultra-paranoid every time I see a spider thinking it's a brown recluse. 

[Reudh]

It had 50hp.

Gargantuan for a spider.

[Tellemurius]

Especially if you turn the grill on, not realizing that one snuck in there during the night.

Now thats what i call a "Instant TV dinner"

[Reudh]

Lol Cthulu. Western US has a similar climate to the more temperate parts of Australia, and the creatures are fairly similar.