Turns out black holes are even scarier than I realised.
Once you go past the event horizon, it's literally impossible to escape. At all. If you could reach velocities past the speed of light you couldn't escape because, to my understanding, they warp spacetime so much that once you're past the event horizon everything points towards the singularity. Even better, you'll never reach the singularity thanks to time dilation, and to everyone else, if they could observe you, you'd hit the event horizon then stop, again thanks to the time dilation.
Fuck you big black mystery objects!
One thing I got thinking about is that to
each bit of matter falling into the black hole, everything
in front of it (i.e. everything that fell in first) would appear to never have passed the event horizon - yet. What does that suggest you find at the event horizon itself? Basically everything that fell in first should always be between you and the event horizon until the moment you actually pass it. And that goes for
you and everything that fell in after you.
Perhaps everything that has and will fall into that event horizon experiences it as a single moment. And that gets me wondering about the actual distribution of matter in a black hole. Is any matter actually inside it? since by external measurements nothing has had time to fall past the event horizon. Perhaps all matter "in" a black hole is perpetually falling towards the event horizon itself, and when the black hole "grows" it stretches that area of deadspace, moving the matter outside it further out. this is just a layman's theory however, but a lot would matter on what exactly happens when the event horizon grows larger: does it literally move past infalling matter, or does it stretch the space itself outwards? Either way, you'd never
actually experience "falling into" the black hole. In scenario #1 the event horizon would just grow big enough to consume you, while you're still frozen by time dilation, and in scenario #2 you'd always be pushed out so that you're constantly outside the event horizon.