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[ein]

Touhoucracy: You have two cows. They shoot out lots of bullets in pretty patterns when you try to milk them.

Musicracy: You have two cows. They can play the piano.

[Zrk2]

MARXOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. He revolts and takes your cows for the glory of the people.
FASCOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. He revolts and takes your cows for the glory of the state.

[Argembarger]

Nabokovocracy: You have two bulls, Humbert and Humbert. You also have a twelve-year-old daughter. OH SHI

edit: I apologize for that.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

ILUMNOCRACY: You have two cows, but everything you do with them helps the Iluminati to set up a Satanic New World Order. The Conservatives, Reactionaries, Liberals, Revolutionaries, Libertarians, Authoritarians, and Facists are all working for them. Everything is full of subliminal messages, even your cow brand. But you know the truth, man!

[Aklyon]

ILUMNOCRACY: You have two cows, but everything you do with them helps the Iluminati to set up a Satanic New World Order. The Conservatives, Reactionaries, Liberals, Revolutionaries, Libertarians, Authoritarians, and Facists are all working for them. Everything is full of subliminal messages, even your cow brand. But you know the truth, man!

but do you milk the cows?

[Zrk2]

ILUMNOCRACY: You have two cows, but everything you do with them helps the Iluminati to set up a Satanic New World Order. The Conservatives, Reactionaries, Liberals, Revolutionaries, Libertarians, Authoritarians, and Facists are all working for them. Everything is full of subliminal messages, even your cow brand. But you know the truth, man!

but do you milk the cows?

Yes, the milk is filled with chemicals which cause a tendency towards Satanism

[KaminaSquirtle]

KIOMJONGILOCRACY:  You have all the cows.  All of them.  That is, two cows.  You train your two cows as soldiers.  You now use them to threaten your neighbors until they submit to your great strength!  No one can stand against you!  You are the glorious leader of the cow empire!

[Aklyon]

KIOMJONGILOCRACY:  You have all the cows.  All of them.  That is, two cows.  You train your two cows as soldiers.  You now use them to threaten your neighbors until they submit to your great strength!  No one can stand against you!  You are the glorious leader of the cow empire!

You also fire bottes of cow milk at your neighbors and then deny doing so.

[Argembarger]

Shakespeareocracy:
You have two cows of shiny eyes and coat
They make the milk, the lifeblood of your house
Your friend, once true, betrays your trust with knives
The steel, still cold, screams out the deed now done

Alas, poor Humbert! I knew her, Horatio, a cow of infinite
milk, of most excellent quality. She hath bore me on her back a
thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.

[Aklyon]

Shakespeareocracy:
You have two cows of shiny eyes and coat
They make the milk, the lifeblood of your house
Your friend, once true, betrays your trust with knives
The steel, still cold, screams out the deed now done

Alas, poor Humbert! I knew her, Horatio, a cow of infinite
milk, of most excellent quality. She hath bore me on her back a
thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.

good job there.

[fqllve]

Nabokovocracy: You have two bulls, Humbert and Humbert. You also have a twelve-year-old daughter. OH SHI

edit: I apologize for that.

Don't apologize!

Best of thread.

good job there.

okay, maybe i should have read that one first. still, the thread is yours.

[Eugenitor]

Actual Illuminocracy: One day you wake up and find that the cows have been milked. The amount of milk left is just a bit less than what you usually get from the cows. You don't question it.

[Sergius]

EMOVAMPICRACY: You have two cows. One is very plain an unattractive, the other is a chiseled vampire god cow that sparkles in sunlight. Both write emo in their journals and sulk and brood. Then the chiseled vampire cow takes the plain unattractive cow and OMG HE'S SO DREAMY.

[KaminaSquirtle]

Shakespeareocracy:
You have two cows of shiny eyes and coat
They make the milk, the lifeblood of your house
Your friend, once true, betrays your trust with knives
The steel, still cold, screams out the deed now done

Alas, poor Humbert! I knew her, Horatio, a cow of infinite
milk, of most excellent quality. She hath bore me on her back a
thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.

AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
The first half is even in iambic pentameter!
Too perfect!

[Askot Bokbondeler]

capitalism: you have two cows, you hire people to milk them, they do all the work and you pay them a fraction of the revenue... you then convince them to invest their savings in your company to buy more cows and increase the company's profit, you then buy more cows, flood the market with milk which then devalues, crashing the economy. _{You fire the workers and dump the milk down the drain while they watch, starving, and you complain you're not making any profit.}

sorry, didn't mean to rant