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[Euld]

This is astoundingly similar to a poster in my old U.S. History teacher's classroom

It's really old copypasta.

Seconded, I heard about this explanation a long while back.  It's useful though.

I think the surrealism is new, and the dwarf one is definitely new.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

CONFEDERATION: You have two cows. The various members of the confederation argue about what to do with them while you take all the milk for yourself.

CORPORATOCRACY: You have two cows. Microsoft buys them at 5% value and you starve.

PLUTOCRACY: You have two cows. Rich people tell you what to do with them.

LOTTOCRACY: You have two cows. Whoever won the lottery gets them.

DIRECT THEOCRACY: You have two cows. God tells you what to do with them and your head explodes.

REPRESENTATIVE THEOCRACY: You have two cows. The Pope scrambles to cover up child molestation.

THEODEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick who gets the milk unless Jesus objects.

MONARCHY: You don't have any cows. The King has your cows.

GERONTOCRACY: You have two cows. The elderly take them.

KLEPTOCRACY: You have two cows. The government doesn't even bother with laws and just steals them.

MERITOCRACY: You have two cows. The government gives them to people who don't suck.

PUPPET STATE: You have two cows. Someone else on this list says what happens next.

NETOCRACY: You have two cows. The internet tells you what to do with them.

TYRANETOCRACY: You have two cows. 4chan tells you what to do with them.

None of these are copypasta.

[Willfor]

Atheism: There are no cows.

Agnosticism: There may be two cows, but you're just not sure. There may also be one cow, or fifty cows. How are you to know?

[Soadreqm]

POST-SCARCITY: You have an enormous complex full of cows. The taking care of is mostly done by machines. There's enough milk for everybody.

POST-SCARCITY SOCIALISM: You have two cows, but since the government is using Science to make infinite amounts of milk, you just keep them as pets.

POST-SCARCITY DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and assimilates all three of you into valued members of the Collective, enhancing you with cybernetics in the process.

[Toriad]

HINDUISM: You have two cows. You don't milk them, you worship them.

[Leafsnail]

HINDUISM: You have two cows. You don't milk them, you worship them.

Don't Hindus worship cows because they can be milked?  Eh.

[Soadreqm]

KLEPTOCRACY: You have two cows. Would be a shame if something was to happen to them, capisce?

I like mine better.

[Akura]

Feudalism also implies you're a slave to the lord though, heh.

I believe that serfs were "owned" by the land itself, and the lord owned the land.

KLEPTOCRACY: You have two cows. Would be a shame if something was to happen to them, capisce?

I like mine better.

I think that's a Mafiocracy.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Feudalism also implies you're a slave to the lord though, heh.

I believe that serfs were "owned" by the land itself, and the lord owned the land.

They were considered to be naturally bound to the land they were born on, or somthing to that effect. That's why if a serf or slave left and avoided capture for a year and a day, they were free. I believe that the exact statement was "Free air makes you free.".

[Toriad]

HINDUISM: You have two cows. You don't milk them, you worship them.

Don't Hindus worship cows because they can be milked?  Eh.

Is that so. 

[Leafsnail]

They were considered to be naturally bound to the land they were born on, or somthing to that effect. That's why if a serf or slave left and avoided capture for a year and a day, they were free. I believe that the exact statement was "Free air makes you free.".

Although, of course, they'd do everything in their power to capture you.  And if they did take you again after 1 year and a day... well, who's gonna do anything about it?

[darkrider2]

Chinese Democracy: You have two copies of every guns and roses album.

[/BAD_JOKE]

[Toriad]

You want a bad joke?
Here you go.

What did the mermaid do last Sunday night?
She went to sea a movie.

ROFLLOLMAO

[Creamcorn]

ROBOCRACY: You have two mechanical cows, the coding in your main frame tells you when to milk them. There's plenty of cow bot milk to go around.

HIPPIEOCRACY: You don't have like two cows maaaan. They're like their own maaaaaaaan. There's like plenty of LSD to go around maaaan.

ORWELLIANOCRACY: You have two cows. The government watches you to make sure you milk them properly. They still torture you and take the milk.

[Toriad]

haha, cows and ganja