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Author Topic: Your first time, and what it was like.  (Read 2812 times)

TheyTarget

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Your first time, and what it was like.
« on: November 25, 2010, 04:13:48 pm »
Well, lets all talk about our first time. I'll start with mine.

It was a long night, I was getting tired, and the sun was about to come up. I was looking for a good time, and with my buddies, didn't know what I would find. When there I saw her standing beautiful and tall. She gave me that look, that deep meaningful stare, and we both knew it was on. I was nervous at first, I've never done this before. She assured me, it was going to be now or never. I couldn't resist anymore. As we approached my feelings changed, a sudden exhilaration, a euphoria I've never felt before. After a very short talk we started at each other. Tearing, clenching, and grabbing at each other. I was unsure at first, but instinct pulled me around to the right position. I plunged in, and her head tilted back. Before it had even started it had ended in a beautiful night of exhaustion, and excitement.
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Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on July 06, 2011, 08:31:30 pm
Quote from: noah22223 on July 06, 2011, 07:56:36 pm
Code: [Select]
This is a platinum warhammer. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. it menaces with spikes of platinum.
there is an image of the goblin Utes Gozrusrozsnus and dwarves in elf bone. The goblin is making a plaintive gesture. the dwarves are striking a menacing pose.
this image relates to the slaying of Utes Gozrusroz

Zesty

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2010, 05:17:45 pm »
I've yet to decapitate any dragons in adventure mode.

...if you know what I mean?
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Cuius est solum, eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos

Urist McUristy

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2010, 05:18:31 pm »
I go for endurance, not for speed. I'm not sure she was that happy about it being that fast.
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Cannabust

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2010, 05:18:48 pm »
Quote from: Met on November 25, 2010, 05:17:45 pm
I've yet to decapitate any dragons in adventure mode.

...if you know what I mean?

I have cut off both heads of an ettin.
... if you know what I mean
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Current Adventurer: Fel AXESEVER, the MOUNTAINOUS VIOLENCE
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Armok needs blood, I just do it with picks.

inEQUALITY

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2010, 09:38:38 pm »
I took a kill quest from a princess...

...if you know what I mean.
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iceball3

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2010, 09:42:41 pm »
*Head does a 360 as it crushes into a singularity*
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Kaelem Gaen

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2010, 10:41:54 pm »
It took me awhile but I eventually figured out how to get head If ya know what I mean.

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psychologicalshock

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2010, 10:48:09 pm »
Quote from: Kaelem Gaen on November 25, 2010, 10:41:54 pm
It took me awhile but I eventually figured out how to get head If ya know what I mean.

I don't and I don't think I want to lol
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NewsMuffin

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2010, 11:11:37 pm »
Well, she was like, "I don't want to," but I...
Oh, Adventure mode, riiiiight.
I selected "Play Now!" with an elf, and promptly fell off a random cliff and died. I frowned, and went back to my fledgling fortresses.

If ya know what I mean...
« Last Edit: November 25, 2010, 11:15:12 pm by NewsMuffin »
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Eagle_eye

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2010, 11:25:12 pm »
this thread is hilariotic
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Umi

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2010, 12:01:23 am »
Seeing her in the moonlight, I pushed her to her knees and grabbed her head.  After adjusting my grip and few times (If you know what I mean ;) ) she took the full length of my "sword" in her mouth where it lodged firmly.  Twisting it out erupted her face leading to her fall asleep from exhaustion.

I then decapitated her.


My second time was just as good I assure you.  Being directed to her by the nobility themselves, we met at sunset.  With my men behind me rooting me on, we grappled onto the ground.  She ripped my armor from me, and I pinned her arms.  It was her first time, but I disregarded her blood and continued to pummel her lower body to the cheers of my men.  She screamed in pleasure as I went for a lucky shot on her upper body.  Pleased with my performance she fell asleep without her cherry (Or head)
« Last Edit: November 26, 2010, 12:07:08 am by Umi »
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Uzu Bash

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2010, 12:11:28 am »
She let out an echoing roar down the tunnel, so sultry it singed my eyelashes away. Blinded, I scrambled back with my spear thrust forward, and she eagerly lept upon it, filling herself up to her heart. She fervently but all too briefly rode it, releasing a gush of fluids so thick I tasted it on my lips for a week. Spent, she collapsed aside.

Then I cut out her heart and brains and ate them.
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Umi

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2010, 12:12:42 am »
This thread has so much win...  :')
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warwizard

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2010, 07:57:39 am »
My first time, well being somewhat of a nerd I asked her and got turned down cold, a splash of water cooled my ardour as I dodged her bitch slap and fell into a local billabong, where she never took me alive.
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Turkleton

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Re: Your first time, and what it was like.
« Reply #14 on: November 26, 2010, 11:52:27 am »
Off topic, but what graphic pack is OP using?
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