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Author Topic: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books  (Read 14368 times)

Leafsnail

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #15 on: November 17, 2010, 05:02:26 pm »

No, the book was actually really good.  It was just that one part where he apparently rips through his pants and her dress in his passion, and then there's some more lurid descriptions of how this sex act was so different from all others in its intensity and heat blah blah blah.
Hmm... any books which say "It was quite dull, about the same as usual"?
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Cthulhu

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #16 on: November 17, 2010, 05:03:23 pm »

If there is a sex-scene in a book that isn't erotica, it is disturbing and awkward and the author was probably wanking when he wrote it.

Plus, the adoration of the words "nacreous" and "tumescence."

Why are people burning Harry Potter and not this?


[EDIT]: Even erotica
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Vector

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #17 on: November 17, 2010, 05:06:37 pm »

Hmm... any books which say "It was quite dull, about the same as usual"?

Not really, but I'm paraphrasing here due to the fact that actually quoting would probably get me muted for a week.  It was really over the top.
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Leafsnail

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #18 on: November 17, 2010, 05:12:37 pm »

Quote from: Nacreous
possessing the qualities of, consisting of, or abounding in nacre; also : iridescent
Quote from: Iridescant
having or exhibiting iridescence
Quote from: Iridescence
a lustrous rainbowlike play of color caused by differential refraction of light waves (as from an oil slick, soap bubble, or fish scales) that tends to change as the angle of view changes
Hey, could be quite interesting...
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Vector

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #19 on: November 17, 2010, 05:14:26 pm »

In this case, they just mean "pearly."

I'm sure you can guess which substance would be a "pearly" color, and what the author might be interested in describing over and over again.
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Realmfighter

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #20 on: November 17, 2010, 05:15:47 pm »

That sounds amazing.
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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #21 on: November 17, 2010, 05:29:47 pm »

Not necessarily the scene in the book, but rather where I read it. I was at home one day reading "To The Hilt" by Joe Abercrombie, sitting with my parents. Cue erotic sex scene between the two anti-heroes. Add a little "How is your book?" Cook at 375 for ten minutes.
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Realmfighter

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #22 on: November 17, 2010, 05:31:29 pm »

You say it is a wonderful metaphor for the class struggles in america today, and end it there.
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Leafsnail

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #23 on: November 17, 2010, 05:45:22 pm »

In this case, they just mean "pearly."

I'm sure you can guess which substance would be a "pearly" color, and what the author might be interested in describing over and over again.
Oh... so... no rainbows?

Although "Nacreous" is a ridiculously ugly word to use :/.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #24 on: November 17, 2010, 07:58:05 pm »

It wasn't the most awkward sex scene in a book, but the part in The Mists of Avalon where Morganne and Arthur have sex in a pagan ritual is pretty awkward afterward, as you can probably imagine. (HINT: THEY WERE SIBLINGS!)
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Karnewarrior

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #25 on: November 17, 2010, 08:29:37 pm »

We read in the Time of the Butterflies in class.

It was very... Explicit. As in, it had a 10th grade english class gasp as one and the english teacher giggle like a schoolgirl at the age of 70.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #26 on: November 17, 2010, 11:13:01 pm »

Open any Stephen King book.

This.

This.

I can't think of a King book where someone DOESN'T drop their pants. Heck, sometimes he just gets the sex bits out in the first ten page. I'm looking at you, The Eyes of the Dragon.

...Not that I'm looking towards such scenes when I read the books. It's just like, "Bla blah blah story stuff HAY! LET'S DROP OUR PANTS!"
Rage, The Mist, and The Long Walk all are sex-scene free. I think The Running Man only has refrences, but no actual scene. Misery doesn't have one either, unless I was really not paying attention.

...It really suprises me that we need a thread like this, though.
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Realmfighter

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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #27 on: November 17, 2010, 11:21:32 pm »

I would like to file this under hilarious.

In one of the Culture books, the titular Culture is a post scarcity, anarchistic society and they are basically the definition of Hedonism. The main character participates in a orgy, and it gets five sentences tops.

The last line being the main character wondering if she actually had sex with the guy she thought was cute.
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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #28 on: November 17, 2010, 11:51:28 pm »

In this case, they just mean "pearly."

I'm sure you can guess which substance would be a "pearly" color, and what the author might be interested in describing over and over again.
Oh... so... no rainbows?

Oh my goood, double rainbow'd!
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Re: Most awkward/hilarious sex scenes in books
« Reply #29 on: November 18, 2010, 02:31:40 am »

Open any Stephen King book.

This.

This.

I can't think of a King book where someone DOESN'T drop their pants. Heck, sometimes he just gets the sex bits out in the first ten page. I'm looking at you, The Eyes of the Dragon.

...Not that I'm looking towards such scenes when I read the books. It's just like, "Bla blah blah story stuff HAY! LET'S DROP OUR PANTS!"
Rage, The Mist, and The Long Walk all are sex-scene free. I think The Running Man only has refrences, but no actual scene. Misery doesn't have one either, unless I was really not paying attention.

...It really suprises me that we need a thread like this, though.

The Mist had that part where the narrator slept with the woman who was taking care of his kid, didn't it? Totally unneeded, too, but Stephen just crams a sex scene in there.
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