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Author Topic: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 25: The Mustachioed Plumber  (Read 21759 times)

Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 20: Megabeast
« Reply #195 on: March 25, 2011, 11:54:43 pm »

Okay, now that the quarter is over (with me scraping by with a D- in english...) this will resume momentarily.
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quip

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 20: Megabeast
« Reply #196 on: March 26, 2011, 03:28:27 am »

Yay!
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Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 20: Megabeast
« Reply #197 on: March 29, 2011, 03:52:11 pm »

Turn 21: Overhaul

Use the power of lies to fix the torched computer and while pretending to compile a report on ventalation to the Prison Inspection Agency look for juciy blackmail material to use.

6) Stuck in your own naïve world, you are convinced that lies cure everything. You go to the computer, sit down and say: “This computer is obviously not broken. It’s just a different model than all the other computers; a cutting edge model with tons of cool stuff on it.” As soon as you sit down, the computer blinks and starts running. It appears that you’ve convinced it well enough. You type in a random password, somehow getting it right. You come to the desktop with four icons on it: a folder labeled EXTREMELY ILLEGAL EXPERIMENTS, a movie that says SELF INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE, a picture that says EMBARRASSING PICTURE OF ME AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY, and a text document titled HOW TO DELETE THE RECYCLING BIN.

Using my awesome throwing skills, throw the pole in the chest at the dragon.

4) okay, it's understandable that you'd like to throw the pole, but let's take a step back. The pole is still pinning you to the side of the building remember? You grab the base of the pole and try to yank it out, but it's firmly embedded. Pain flows over you just as much as frustration does.

6) You look nervously at the dragon to see if it's seen you yet. It hasn't. In fact, it's almost as if you're invisible.

Discover that my crown is razor sharp, then throw it like a boomerang at the hand. Then...ORDER MY PIGIONS TO ATTACK!

4) Stunned, you stare at the shiny gold, no bronze, hand as it thrashes about from the portal that has been opened from the strange device. You watch as an unlucky pig gets crushed because of it’s flailing. Suddenly, anger flows through you, consuming you like white hot flames. These are your subjects, your people, and the duty of a king is to his people. You let out a primal yell and toss your crown at the beast’s hand. 2) it breaks against the metal hand as it waves back and forth. Still angry, you call out to your wards.

“My subjects! Turn your ears to your king’s voice!” you yell out. Every pig listens to you. “This monstrosity has decided to test our valiance! We shall beat it back as brothers and we will fight as one! We are together or we are dead! Every able bodied pig, female or male, old enough to fight and has the will to defend his or her brethren equip yourselves with haste and we shall go into battle with this hand, beat it back, and chase it to where it came from!!!”

Your words echo louder in the cave than the tremendous banging being brought on by megabeast. Each pig is touched and in no time, 40 pigs clad in bone armor arrive at your sides. You turn to your small army, which is just out of reach of the hand’s reach, in time to see 10 more pigs coming out clan in Goblinite armor menacing with spikes. One of them walks up to you and, with a twist of its head, tosses a short sword to you. You catch it easily. You look back to the hand, wanting to get to what it’s attached to. You ask yourself if you are ready for this. A few years ago you were convicted to life in prison for littering (you got a very very bad roll. A “-1”). you broke out and were hiding in that shack for a time. A few hours ago you were dying of dehydration. Now you’re suddenly the Pig King?

Regardless as to whether or not your life makes any sense at all, these are your people now and you are willing to give your life for them.

TO BATTLE!!!
__________________________________________
 KRATH, KING OF PIGS      /        /
                 +                   /  vs.  /
           Company           /        /      BRONZE COLLOSUS

(I think that this is my favorite turn so far. My old favorite turn was when Flint was facing off with the chain prophet near the fence.)

Find some paper and begin writing the pole bible as I cross the desert.

6) taking some parchment you find on the ground, you begin scribing the new Polish bible as you cross the dunes of the desert. Luckily the dragon doesn’t seem to notice you, but you keep a wary eye on it as you walk.

“...and so the Pole God proclaimed that He would forgive all those who worshipped those lesser metal gods if they would prove their faith. From all over, subjects of gods such as the one of chain, blades, wire, frying pans, and cars flocked to Him for the Pole God was the most pure and powerful...”
-an excerpt from The Bible of Poles

You come across the ruins of a shack, but continue after a fruitful search for more paper.

“...Having seized the power of chains, the Pole God stood higher than all the other metal gods. He smiled upon his disciple, Flint, and did give to him some of His new power, so that he could spread the word of His greatness. And so Flint did do what He commanded...”
-an excerpt from The Bible of Poles

You finally find that you have come to a large city. 3) there aren’t many people in the streets, but there are some. The buildings are not tall, but average in height for skyscrapers. You are currently in the suburbs, and can see that the tall tower that was on the horizon was actually in the middle of the city. It dwarfes all the other buildings around it.

Stand up, go through the hallway and open the red door.

4) Getting up wobbly, you decide to search the rest of the lab for another way out. You’re sick and tired of this place. Going back to the hallway with the three doors, you now go to the red door, throwing it open. A wave of heat rolls over you, causing you to tumble back. 2) You hit your head on the ground, making colors dance before your eyes. 5) Nai seems to like the heat. Maybe she’s a tropical plant.

The room beyond the door is enormous. Many small pools of magma sit on a rough, rocky ground around 10 feet below you, though it varies with the jagged, red stone. The ceiling is another 10 feet above you, and the door opens onto a metal walkway that’s part of a large web of walkways above the surface of this hell on earth. They sometimes come to an overhead room that is attached to the ceiling. You don’t see anything moving on the walkways or on the ground.

Players
HmH, a Doctor's Worst Nightmare
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: Lab; Relations: Nai

Flint, Prophet of the Pole God (Flintus10)
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: The suburbs

JacenHanLovesLegos, Defender of Chess
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: outside the prison

Quip Silvertongue
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: lab hallway

Krath, King of All Pigs
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: pig cave; Relations: King of Pigs

NPC's
Nai
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Powers (click to show/hide)
Location: lab. Relations: HmH

Pigs
Spoiler: Overall status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Pig Army (click to show/hide)
Relations: Krath

Locations
Spoiler: Prison (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Lab (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: desert (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: city (click to show/hide)

Our map is getting bigger. YAY! I doubt that anyone will ever actually want to come back to the prison after they leave though. It’s a pretty thoroughly used location.

On a sidenote, I’m surprised with all the positive feedback I’ve just gotten from you guys. It’s comments like those that make me want to make this RTD even better.

So what do you guys think about replacing Maxicaxi?
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JacenHanLovesLegos

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 21: Overhaul
« Reply #198 on: March 29, 2011, 04:29:59 pm »

Melge the pole with my body.
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As it turns out, the pen was in fact a poor choice for melee combat in comparison to the sword.
So I just started playing this game and I accidentally nuked the moon.

Flintus10

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 21: Overhaul
« Reply #199 on: March 29, 2011, 07:40:02 pm »

Find a box somewhere (and stand on it) and begin preaching at anybody who walks past, make sure that I am as in their face as possible.
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Krath

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 21: Overhaul
« Reply #200 on: March 29, 2011, 08:52:49 pm »

Point my goblinite blade at the hand, order my pigs to CHARGE, and then enter battle myself!

Meanwhile, Men of Destiny plays in the background.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 04:45:43 am by Krath »
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Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

HmH

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 21: Overhaul
« Reply #201 on: March 29, 2011, 11:36:32 pm »

Go to the overhead room.

quip

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 21: Overhaul
« Reply #202 on: March 30, 2011, 10:07:52 am »

Use my delusions of sanity to open up an E-mail program and E-mail every file the computer has to myslef (the E-mail address is, of course: Quip_Silvertounge@Prison_Inspection_Agency.RTD) Then restore any files on the recycle bin. Finally delete the recycle bin.
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Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 21: Overhaul
« Reply #203 on: April 01, 2011, 09:53:44 am »

To veiw this turn, you are required to listen to Men of Destiny while doing so.

Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King

Melge the pole with my body.

5) Getting tired of the pole through your side, you put your hands on it and command it to become part of you. Due to the nature of your awesome and invisible skin, the pole has no choice but to obey. It suddenly turns into its liquid form and gets sucked into the wound, filling up your stomach and closing the wound as it finishes entering your invisible body.

Huh? Is that it? Well at least you’re not pinned to that stupid wall anymore.

2) Your thinking is interrupted as a roar comes from the skies. You look up, wondering if the dragon saw you even though you are invisible. That’s not the case. You watch as the dragon turns around in the sky and starts flying until it is obscured by the stone fence.

You wonder where it might be going when you see a set of foot prints in the sand that came from that one guy you hit with the chess board. It’s heading out into the desert in the same direction that the dragon just started going…

Looks like a certain escaped convict is going to turn into an !!escaped convict!!

(for those who do not play dwarf fortress, things with exclamation points around them are on fire.)

Find a box somewhere (and stand on it) and begin preaching at anybody who walks past, make sure that I am as in their face as possible.

1) You are currently in a suburban area where not many people will be influenced by your preaching so you decide to head deeper into town. When you come to a busy intersection, you deem that there are enough people around to start preaching.

You take in as much air as possible and start shouting. “BECOME FAITHFUL TO THE POLE GOD!!! ALL THAT ARE FAITHFUL ARE HAPPY!!!” Occasionally as you shout you run around to a random person and grab them, starting to yell at them with your eyes wide open. Apparently people don’t like an escaped convict still wearing his orange jumpsuit yelling at them in the street. After a couple of minutes you start hearing police sirens heading toward you. in moments, you are surrounded as police point there guns at you. a policeman comes out with a bullhorn.

"FLINT POLESON, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR MULTIPLE OFFENSES INCLUDING DISTURBING THE PEACE AND JUST PLAIN BEING DISTURBING!!!"

You ignore them as you realize you forgot something extremely important. your box. how are you supposed to be a preacher without a box?

Point my goblinite blade at the hand, order my pigs to CHARGE, and then enter battle myself!

5) It's time. you think to yourself. you take your newly aquired blade and point it at the hand. "CHARGE!!!"

all the pigs suddenly begin running toward the hand with you in the lead. the hand, having no eyes to see the oncoming army is left defensless as the pigs slam into it. 6-1=5) the imnpact of the porkers is so powerful, it launches the army far across the cavern and making it slam into the wall. dents cover its metal body.

but your not done yet, you haven't gotten your shot in yet. you jump up high into the air. "Time to carve out a new CROWN!!!" you bring your sword down hard onto the wrist of the arm. 5-1=4) a large gash cuts through the bronze skin. the arm suddenly starts flailing in pain. 6) you jump up as the arm sweeps toward you, landing on top of it. you quickly sink your sword into the bronze flesh of the giant, giving yourself something to hold onto as the statue slams itself around in the cavern.

(you guys are extremely lucky, do you realize that?)

Go to the overhead room.

3) "C'mon Nai, we should see if there is an exit in one of those overhead rooms."

Nai seems hesitant.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been genetically altered so that I'm a plant." She says, nervousely looking around into the room. "I don't want to get anywhere near that magma."

"It's okay. I'll protect you. I promise." you tell her with so much confidence, she has no choice but to believe you.

"Okay. I'm ready now."

Use my delusions of sanity to open up an E-mail program and E-mail every file the computer has to myslef (the E-mail address is, of course: Quip_Silvertounge@Prison_Inspection_Agency.RTD) Then restore any files on the recycle bin. Finally delete the recycle bin.

2) you have the bright idea to open up an internet program ande email everything to yourself but the computer isn't hooked up to the internet. aww too bad.

 Players
HmH, a Doctor's Worst Nightmare
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: red room; Relations: Nai

Flint, Prophet of the Pole God (Flintus10)
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: The suburbs

JacenHanLovesLegos, Defender of Chess
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: outside the prison

Quip Silvertongue
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: lab hallway

Krath, King of All Pigs
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: pig cave; Relations: King of Pigs

NPC's
Nai
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Powers (click to show/hide)
Location: red room; Relations: HmH

Pigs
Spoiler: Overall status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Pig Army (click to show/hide)
Relations: Krath

Locations
Spoiler: Prison (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Lab (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: desert (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: city (click to show/hide)

Geez, these turns get longer and longer every time.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2011, 09:55:34 am by Terrahex »
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quip

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King
« Reply #204 on: April 01, 2011, 10:16:12 am »

Look for a USB stick then. Check my pockets, I may have left one in there on my way to break into the prison work this morning.
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Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King
« Reply #205 on: April 01, 2011, 10:20:36 am »

oh yeah, and by the way guys, I PM'ed Metal Militia to start playing. you guys will be getting another plaything soon.
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HmH

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King
« Reply #206 on: April 01, 2011, 10:26:43 am »

"Actually, that's not what I meant. I'll go first, you stay behind. I'll give you a signal if it's safe to go."

Nai stays away from magma, I check the overhead room.

Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King
« Reply #207 on: April 01, 2011, 10:46:50 am »

HmH, that's probably one of the wiser things that you decided to do... Hint Hint...
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Krath

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King
« Reply #208 on: April 01, 2011, 11:31:30 am »

Order my pig army to deal with the hand while I run up the arm and through the portal to confront the beast myself.
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Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

JacenHanLovesLegos

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 22: The Power of the Pig King
« Reply #209 on: April 01, 2011, 11:34:06 am »

Save Poleman from the dragon!

No !!Escaped Convict Roast!! for you!
Logged
As it turns out, the pen was in fact a poor choice for melee combat in comparison to the sword.
So I just started playing this game and I accidentally nuked the moon.
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